Life In the Fast Lane

holy shitiiti how did she even get into the ducts

i don’t think i can top any of the stories you just told. my roommate’s just really strange in mundane ways and i love her but

doesn’t turn her laptop off?? ever??? she just shuts it and opens it again when she needs it. her laptop’s been on the whole semester

randomly gets up and does lunges in the middle of the room

doesn’t use headphones, just plays shit out loud. she’s watching 30 rock rn and i can hear every word. i don’t mind it because i use headphones but her laptop speakers suck and i genuinely don’t know how she can handle it

puts the ketchup directly on her fries. and then offers to share.

“hey angel maybe you shouldn’t put your laptop on the edge of your bed” *dangles legs off the bed and balances laptop on them out of pure spite*

apparently she has weird dreams when she takes naps so she’ll set an alarm three hours before she actually has to be up in the morning so she can go back to sleep and have a weird dream

she went vegetarian because she watched Silver Spoon and got too attached to the pig

*at 3am* “izzy, how old is robert de niro.”

Man talks to turkeys

Genuine human happiness right there.

brrruururururuururururur

They did this the first time perfectly and it required only one take. It is a miracle of vine-making composure, timing, and Kool-Aid Man voice genius

This actually took multiple takes, meaning they had to do this more than one time, with more than one wall, leaving a swath of destruction and man-shaped holes in walls in their wake.

What I expect to hear

What I actually hear

And I’m just like