so...I havenāt posted anything here in ages. I think Iāve grown apart from the fandoms that kept me here, and I no longer make fanart for them as you probably have noticed.
Therefore, I am closing this account for good. I think this account will stay as an archive, but I wonāt post anything new.
If you would still like to keep up with my art, follow me at @/ftaephoria on twitter and Instagram. Please note that these are my Kpop stan accounts, so if youāre not into that I suggest not following.
Iāll still be keeping up with my cats a day, if anyone was worried.
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lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Quality
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
tall plants, short plants, flowering plants, rigid plants, fragrant plants, smelly plants, everything in between.
the plants are everywhere, lining the windowsills, hanging off pots dangling from the ceiling, haphazardly curling against the walls. they shade my windows when i look outside. they sway in every gust of wind. sometimes i step into a room and it smells like someone dumped twenty different perfumes on the floor, the sweetly floral smell permeating through the walls.
i love my plants.
one of these plants is a rose bush.
i got it when i was little and it was just a single flower, small and curling under a mass of leaves and thorns. i set it in a corner of my room and it grew slowly, spreading up the walls and around the room. It didnāt flower as much as my other plants, but when it did each petal shone brilliantly, a glowing ruby in a bed of thorns.
i started to grow fond of it, its thorns and prickles somehow worming its way into my heart. for a blissful time, the rose bush blossomed brilliantly and i loved it.
then for some reason, it stopped blooming. suddenly, every time i tried to peer around for a sign of life or buds, its thorns would prick me, each wound deeper than before. i tried watering it more, giving it more fertilizer, even sometimes just sitting there and talking to it. nothing worked, and i only got a few blossoms every few weeks, instead of weekly or even daily like before.
i kept trying so, so hard. i thought if i worked hard enough, i could get the bush to flower more often again. but i couldnāt.Ā
and then a friend pointed out that its thorns were jutting into my other plants, leeching their nutrients, hiding their flowers. i couldnāt see some of my other favorite plants anymore.
the rosebush needs to go, i thought with a heavy heart.
but despite its sharp thorns, despite its parasitical behavior over my other plants, i couldnāt bear to just cut its roots out and be done with it. call it sunk cost fallacy if you will, but i had spent too long cultivating it, and like it or not i still had some of its blossoms pressed flat into collections. its roots had long spread through the walls and were no longer distinguishable. no matter what i did, something would remain.
finally i decided to trim it at its roots, making sure not to kill it, and i transferred it outside. there it has the freedom to grow wherever it wants without disturbing my other plants.
without disturbing me.
do i regret having the rose bush? no.
do i wish i had moved it farther away from me sooner? yes.
--
rose bush, this is what iāve been thinking about. if you read this, iām sorry. i think this is the decision i will make for myself.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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this was meant for one very specific person and you know exactly who you are :)
āacting gayā isnāt a phase. changing and evolving my personality to accommodate the acceptance of my sexuality is not a phase. and thereās no way iād ever think of going back.
