random thoughts

Finally another year approaching the fall another ritual done, I kinda have this personal ritual before it gets cold out I beat starfox N64 on the hardest mission on my old N64 I've been doing this since late elementary school and finishing it always put me at ease probably because I've been doing it for over 20 years......gods I'm old

I must confess.....I have stained my very soul with the dark arts. You see one year ago my wife was with her mother looking after her after a surgery and she had our son with her since I worked nights. After our morning video call I began making breakfast it started simple I had no idea the dark powers I was about to unleash that would curse my very being. At first I wanted to make a waffle and a cup of coffee, but my mind began to wander it started small I browned butter and mixed it with the syrup I should have known what was happening to me. I saw the bacon in the fridge normally this would be just a side but then it struck me...I would top my waffle with the bacon. So I prepared the bacon for the air fryer with a steak seasoning mix as it cooked I prepared the waffle mix and as I poured out the batter onto the iron I saw it, the peanut butter on the counter and knew I had to put it on the waffle I was making as well, I should have known I was messing with powers behind my comprehension. Finally it was time to assemble it...the peanut butter bacon waffle with brown butter maple syrup. The peanut butter spread smooth and immediately began melting into the holes, I chopped up the bacon and sprinkled it a crossed so no bite would be without bacon, then as if to complete my unholy ritual I poured the brown buttered maple syrup on it. Coffee in hand I took a bite and at that moment I was consumed by the dark culinary arts. I devoured it with a fervour I had never known before it was like I was possessed by a demon and without thinking I went to make seconds, thank the gods I don't have infinite stomach space I finally came to my senses full and full of shame because I wanted more... Even now a year later the peanut butter bacon waffle with brown butter maple syrup still haunts my very soul I still crave it. gods forgive me

I may not have had much in life but I know one of my children will inherit my steam library

I crave the cold the dark the snow

I've noticed a near complete lack of goblin girl dating sims, I mean there's a pen and paper journaling game, but given all the art, comics and other things people make and commission there's a clear market for it. Heck just do like a college person that inherited some money to go to a local university for two year to give you an arbitrary time limit and just go from there heck it doesn't even need to be that lewd I've notice a lot of people like the wholesome goblin art. You could do a fantasy style rpg based one but I feel a lot of the dating sim mechanics would have to take a back seat to the rpg part

I just realized it's little more than a day away from the solstice and a week from Christmas. Well it's a good thing I have everything ready especially for my little ones

You what I find funny? Fanon and how so devoted some members of a fandom can be like the first one I remember some people were actually upset about was Steven Univers with Lars and Sadie not being together in the end but most brushed it off in a day. Then came the Amazing digital circus and the soft Jaxs fanon like everyone spent months building jaxs up as a misunderstood bully with a heart of gold but lost their minds when the second episode came out and he was still just a bully with barely a glance at the mention of kofmo's funeral and now I see in the helluva boss fandom the fanon that Stella is a victim and was living in a golden cage and everything she does is an act of rebellion against stolas and her over controlling family and truly loves her daughter, even though it was clear from her childhood picture being her activitly strangling someone. Everything showing that she's been a violent egotistical brat her whole life. Heck when she tries to have stolas abducted by striker her brother is upset because her daughter would get everything and tells her to be patient, implying they're going to either have to get rid of her daughter first or use her as a pawn to force stolas to give Stella everything in the divorce, but fanon insists she's just a tragic victim, like does anyone actually watch the show or just look at I'll admit the very impressive fan art (I won't lie some of it is really cool) and assume she's just as regal as she's drawn?

I know it's been years since I last posted but I've been going on a bit of a nostalgia trip, mostly about mlp:fim I mean it kinda saved me, I got out on a year long at my college suspension at the time due to my poor grades, and my poor grades were due to my job at the time taking up too much work. Half way through my suspension I was working twelve hours shifts every other day of the week. I was having literal nightmares about work and waking up in a cold sweat. Then I decided to go on 4chan before my shift and I saw how their was a group of people gushing on and on about my little pony, and I was hooked after a few episodes, and the fandom in its hay day (pun intended ) was awesome but after nearly a decade of it being over i decided to look back at it all and find their still active nowhere near what it once was. Heck I found out equestria daily was still going, now it was more like a chat forum these days due to lack of news but heck they have lots of people still talking the vide is still much of the same, on reddit it's still active. This inspired me to dig up my old laptop and email my old meet up group too how they're doing, and maybe if they're within a reasonable driving distance maybe meet up for old times sak like a highschool reunion except less lying, of course making it clear that it's not an MLM pitch. Out of the elven I got replies from eight of them. While most moved out of state they're all doing well, heck the two that met and started dating because of the meetup group got married and had some kids and it really warmed my heart to hear that. While a meetup wasn't possible because with prices theses days it would be unreasonable to expect somebody to willing pay thousands of dollars to meet at a Chinese buffet we used to meet at just to talk and maybe watch some episodes like old times. Though over all the sentiment was felt and we exchanged discord info so we can begin to get back in touch. I've also noticed that across the remains of the Brony fandom is a growing desire to have one last meetup one last convention, heck if I was a rich man this would be the part where I'd say that I'm funding something like that, or if I had enough influence and know how Maybe crowd fund something but I have neither of these oh well at least in its own ways it's still going maybe not as big as before but it's still fun remember love and tolerate

one of the things these days that make me smile is watching scalpers on ebay slowly drop their price until the point you know they're losing money, Like mini snes scalpers most I've seen are now selling at half retail price 😂 it's only a matter of time until the next gen consoles get their prices dropped

Another Night another bizarre dream. I was taking a classes back at my old highschool at the age of 35 during the day, the classes were just as strange, languages that didn't exist, law classes for different species of animals and pinball for some reason. Friday came around after my last language class, I was invited to try a crash bandicoot game made by some people in the computer lab. I finished the first level and somehow this got me drugged. I woke up on a bus heading to the jersey shore with just a pair of cargo shorts on, not even sandals on. Some how the drug not only kept me in a stupor for a month but had turned back me into my late teens. I was on the bus because a kindly old woman had payed for me. We arrived and she was about to give me a lot of money but I declined and asked only for a dollar and twenty cents saying "I could easily make a meal of it" After using the money on crane game and won some electronics. I sold them off but before I could buy some clothes I was approached by two guys who claimed I was some rich dude's son who ran off a few years back. I told them they had the wrong guy but they aggressively insisted I came. I met the old man who didn't give his name, he also believed I was his run away son, despite me saying otherwise. He began to shower me with gifts which I continued to insist I wasn't his son. The main reason I just didn't go with it is because if the actual son came out of Hiding, their would be a good chance I would be facing legal repercussions. I ultimately decided to stick around for the food and clothes swearing to leave that night. The old man calls some of his son's friends over which they confirm I'm not his son but the old man laughs and keeps calling me his son. The friends make it clear they're there to hang out they really didn't care if I was or wasn't his son. The evening passes and we ended up watching a weird sonic movie were chaos was trying to turn the world into jelly. The movie ends the old man is asleep I try to sneak out and at the front door there he is, the old man's son. We do look kinda similar, he heard his father's men had abducted someone, I explain that was me and they thought I was his son despite me saying otherwise. He agreed to let me go with the clothes, food and even gave me more then enough money for a long bus trip home. I woke after boarding a bus a few blocks down

Mentally going up a wall, traveled 2 hours to celebrate an in law's birthday. All was fine for the first six hours but now after being an overly loud restaurant with overly expensive drinks ( I only had water) and now we're in my sister in law's apartment and everyone is passing around her clearly tried baby barely a year old practically choking on her tears and wailing to sleep, just for a few pictures it's taking everything I have not too slap the stupid out of each of them, and leave but then I'd be the bad guy and I still have a 2 hour drive home and it's already 10:30

Tonight's spook show "the old dark house"