Bruv

this conversation shouldve gone differently

I should've been honest

I should've mentioned

it all before,

but I was unsure

because I never wanted to lose you

You came back before

first as a dream,

then as yourself.

And everything I promised

myself that I would never do

was sitting before me.

"I thought our love was different"

is a bell frequently

ringing in my mind

Sometimes in moments of reflection

Sometimes as a way to harm.

But it was different

beautiful and bewildering

Because never would I yearn this deeply

I’ve made a mistake

When you were sitting there

I thought it was done

And I thought it was just commitment

That I wanted

But even trying

Seems forced

I bought this house for us

Before I thought you’d come back

I spent years missing you

Just to turn around

And do it again

But the damage is done

So now the punishment has to fit

It is in moments of silence

when I heard your voice the loudest

your raspy voice shouting at me

loving and soulful

I think of you

in every moment

but now there are only flowers

and a bag of ashes

on the kitchen counter

waiting for your urn

you were my reason to live

when I thought I shouldn't anymore

through the mania

and the days glued to my bed

you were there

I can still hear you stomping toward me

excited to greet me

but now the faucet is running

and the house is quiet

all I can think about

is the part of my heart

you took with you

and now I wait for your flowers

to bloom

So I can admire you again

I dont know how to get through

this life

without you

My crunchy Cisco girl