all my random thoughts

tree

period comfort

is this me ?

ADHD

architect

knitted plushies

young MC troublemaker

you good ?

actress

draw me like one of your french girls

jealousy, jealousy

passenger princess

prenup

divorce

mukbang

sulking

text or call ?

console me

easter eggs

cleaning therapy

oranges

you can count on me

it is saturday, this much you are certain of by how loud the ruckus is in the living room. your blackout blinds are still down, fully shielding you from the sun and the start of the weekend. you blink your eyes slowly, still in between sleepiness and getting awake. right behind you is xavier. his strong arms are wrapped tightly around your waist and his little snores tickle the back of your neck.

you have no idea when he got in your bedroom, but for now, you're not complaining and allow yourself to bathe in his warmness, his usual scent of detergent and lemon fills your nose. xavier always smelled so clean and good. of course, while you are trying to enjoy this cute snuggly moment, the ruckus outside only seemed to grow louder.

muffled voices, clanking sounds, loud footsteps -- any normal person would think that they were being robbed. but no, not you. you ain't normal. not when your love life involves five guys. five possessive, jealous, protective men. and sometimes, they were annoying (this is said out of love).

''rise and shine, pipsqueak!''

that's fucking caleb. of course he is hollering at ... you try to subtly twist your body on the side to look at the clock, careful to not wake xavier up (though nothing really wakes him up). freakin 9:30 in the morning. on a saturday. and he's already yelling.

within a minute, caleb gives three firm knocks and barges in -- not even waiting for your answer. his smile is bright and full of life, his eyes gleaming with completely adoration at your sight until he sees xavier. his eyes literally darkened with irritation as he closed the distance and harshly tug on xavier's pajama shirt.

''get away from her, you stupid alien'', caleb seethes as he continues to tug. not long after, zayne comes in the bedroom wearing an apron. his eyes narrow in annoyance as he whispers to caleb to quiet down as to not wake you up so early.

the damage is already done and too late though. zayne glanced down at you and his scowl disappears instantly. his gaze softens as apology before he walks to the other side and bends down, pressing a gentle kiss on your cheek.

''good morning, my love'', he soothes down your hair as his thumb caresses your cheek tenderly, ''go back to sleep. i'll wake you up for breakfast after.''

caleb had stopped tugging on xavier (who is still stubbornly ''asleep'' and clinging to you) and joined zayne beside. his earlier outrage at xavier seemed to have vanished entirely as he smiles widely at you : ''pipsqueak''.

caleb's tone, when talking to you, is always so full of gentleness and playfulness. you can practically feel love pouring out of his entire body whenever he looks at you. like an excited dog awaiting its owner's return. his hand reaches out to you gently and he caresses your cheek. if you didn't know caleb any better, you'd think that his gesture is sweet, romantic, cute. but don't be fooled.

he's just wiping zayne's kiss without explicitly saying it.

zayne turns and tries to push caleb out of your bedroom, hushing him as he glanced back at you one more time, a small smile plastered on his face just for you. always just for you. before caleb is kicked out, rafayel stops dead in front of the door. zayne groans in frustration and pinches the bridge of his nose, a gesture you've seen him do on a daily basis towards the others.

''caleb, you idiot ! why did you throw my paintbrushes !'' ; rafayel yells, his fists clenched as he looks over caleb's shoulder and notices you. the lemurian god, entirely capable of solving this problem by himself, decides to push past the two men and stomp his way to your figure. he points accusingly at caleb and pouts : ''cutie, he threw my paintbrushes. i just bought them, he's triyng to salvage my inspiration and creativity !''

you also know better rafayel better than others : caleb did not throw his paintbrushes out. caleb would never clean after the other men. he only cleans after you, for you. the others can take care of themselves. it's either rafayel threw it out by accident, the paintbrushes are hidden under his own mess, or he threw it all out (and decided to accuse caleb) so he can use it as an excuse to shop for more with you, together.

knowing rafayel, the last scenario is very much plausible.

''they are so loud, baby'', xavier mumbles against your shoulder before pressing a soft kiss. you can't help but grin at all this ridiculous drama. and yet, you'd trade nothing in the world to miss this. these small moments where chaos erupts, but genuine love is felt from all of them. xavier grabs this opportunity where the 3 men are quarreling to press another featherly kiss at your shoulder, slowly kissing his way down to your arm. chills travel down your spine as xavier covers any exposed skin with butterfly kisses, his touches so gentle and tender but the bulge pressing against your ass isn't.

''hey ! stop this, you pervert !''

rafayel practically yanks xavier's shirt while caleb forcefully takes the blanket off. the soft material rips and everyone stops moving.

''good heavens, this is the 3rd blanket you ripped, caleb. can't control your own strength ?'' zayne says, clearly frustrated now. he takes the blanket from caleb's grip and glances at you. he knows you love this one, and he also knows how difficult it is to find one that is suitable for your sensitive skin.

he adjusts his glasses and extends his hand, his gaze leaving no place for argument : ''let's go, my love. let them be, i'll buy another one for you. tonight, you can sleep with me, my blanket is practically the same hypoallergenic material.''

you try to grab his hand but xavier's hold around your waist is iron and unwilling to let you go. caleb scoffs and rolls his eyes at zayne : ''nice try, zayne. pretending to be the good guy, you're sick.''

zayne feigns innocence as he tries to separate xavier away from you ; ''i'm just trying to help Y /N. she has sensitive skin and can easily get an allergic reaction. it happened last time.'' zayne says factually, his tone cold towards caleb. he didn't bother looking at his childhood friend as he continues to pry xavier (the leech) off.

''and why would she choose your blanket ? mine is the same material too.'' caleb argues, crossing his arms as he glares at the doctor. rafayel goes behind xavier and tries to headlock him, in hopes of ending this idiot's life, who has the audacity to touch his bride.

''at night, she needs to rest. your mouth can't shut up.'' zayne replies, deadpan.

by some miracle, rafayel managed to get xavier to release you (probably because he was about to pass out). zayne practically carried you right away. he'll protect you no matter what, and he knows you're safest with him.

''put her down, i'll help her get ready and you can go back to the kitchen'', caleb snaps at the doctor as he turns his attention to you. immediately, his mood switches and he beams a bright charming smile : ''whaddya say, pips ? i have a new body lotion, i can put it for you.''

before zayne can even reply on your behalf, a laughter erupts behind the men. sylus, leaning against your door, stares at you. his ruby eyes glow with amusement and mischief : ''quite a circus show you have there, kitten.''

he bends down to pick the blanket up from the floor before he toss it on the side : ''i'm the one who bought this. i'll go out shopping with my kitten after. she deserves to be spoiled today, right sweetie ?"

rafayel stops fighting with xavier and stares menacingly at sylus : " she's already going to shop with me after. we need to get more paintbrushes". the lemurian god crosses his arms and turns towards you : "right, cutie?"

before you can even respond, sylus interrupts. he feigns to be interested in his nails and rings, his tone nonchalant though you know he is hoping you will choose him over paintbrush shopping (which is boring and ridiculous in his mind). clearly, his kitten wouldn't want to waste her time with a fishie, right ?

"you don't need more paintbrushes."

"yes, i do."

"no, you don't."

"yes, i do."

"no, you don't. you barely even paint."

"because someone took my muse away. you bastards have been hoarding her for so long, i've lost my creativity !"

"that's what a bad artist would say."

"how dare you, bird face ? what do you even know about art, anyway ?"

"I'm the one who buys them, so yes -- i do know about art."

their bickering went back and forth for a while, their voices acting as background noises. zayne carried you to the bathroom and slammed it shut before caleb (or xavier) could sneak inside. while you were getting ready to start your day, their voices and presences continued on in the back.

and honestly, that was what home and love felt like.

zayne

you already know how the dentist is literally one of zayne's enemies. just a simple teeth cleaning is torture for zayne, so he doesn't even want to know the details of how wisdom teeth are removed lol

his main priority is to soothe your pain and remind you of how infections can easily develop. he'll take the extra step to cook for you, all liquid / soft foods for a while (and don't worry, whatever zayne cooks are filled with good nutrients)

i do believe that he'll use this opportunity to tease you a little bit about how he can freely eat cold sweets, like ice cream, cake, pastries ... he isn't exactly rubbing it in your face, but kind of lol

in all honestly, i do think that zayne will be a bit more concerned and worried out of all the lads, as he knows just how painful the treatment and recovery can be for a while

will absolutely be down to clean the bleeding in your mouth. blood doesn't disgust him anyway, it's part of his job as doctor

caleb

similar to zayne, will not hesitate to cook soft and liquid food for you. he'll even insist that you stop all kinds of activity / movements, because it can increase pain (he's just exaggerating so he can dote on you even more)

will take videos of you if you are under anesthesia lol even if you aren't, he's filming you. will tease you about how you look like a cute hamster, your cheeks are puffed up

every time you ask him for something, he's imitating back your voice in a baby tone, just to annoy you lol

all joking aside, caleb will always make sure that you are ok. he'll do whatever you ask, so take advantage of him (please do, it might make him happier than you)

sylus

i sincerely believe that sylus would try to convince you and the dentist to remove one wisdom teeth at a time (if it is multiple) lol he can't stand seeing you in pain and would absolutely try to avoid too much procedure

he'll be a lot more irritated at the dentists staff (unfortunately) than you'd think ; in his mind, if you are under too much pain, then it means that the dentist did not do a proper job (that's not how it works though, sylus ...)

y'all better believe that sylus isn't letting you off his lap until you fully recover. i believe that internally, he's panicking more than zayne lol he won't let his worry show (to not burden you) but his actions are rooted deep in concern for your health. he'll say something along the line of : if you walk kitten, it can aggravate the pain. there is no need to be strong right now, just rest and let me take care of you sweetie

sylus is like those helicopter pet owners, you know ? their pet is injured and the owner is already grieving lol

xavier

the calmest one out of all the lads lol not because he is nonchalant (we all know he really is far from it) but because he feels kind of ... helpless ?

xavier doesn't want to voice it out, but he genuinely doesn't really have a clue on how to help you. he'll watch videos about the procedure of wisdom teeth removals, the recovery process, the risks of infections, people posting about their own journey, etc ... but still, at the end, everyone is different on what their own recovery journey looks like

definitely the quiet type, rather than trying to make jokes (like caleb) or lecture you (like zayne). xavier can be quite ... intense, when he gets into his calm and quiet role lol

it's like he's staring dead at you, just waiting for you to tell him what you need. it's like he is dissociating from stress lol obviously, even if he isn't too knowledgeable about this, you can still expect xavier to take good care of you

warm blankets, hot and warm foods ready at all times, painkillers, ice pack to help with the swelling, house chores all done

he'll also insist that you sleep on top of him, so that it can help with ''swelling and bleeding'' (totally unrelated, but can you deny him with his cute puppy eyes?)

you can always forget about leaving xavier's line of sight. he'll contain his own need to run a strict program, but don't test his patience. if his own stress and concern overrides his self-restraint, he'll actually become quite dominant and strict / mean (daddy xavier)

rafayel

sincerely believes that it's a dumb procedure and thinks the dentist is just trying to scam people for more money lol

will absolutely crash out if the staff are not giving you the proper queen treatment. rafayel is the type to go on their website and leave a nasty comment (if he deems their behavior unprofessional lol)

while rafayel might be loud and dramatic, he actually is very good at taking care of people. more than what others think

he won't actively voice it out, but concern is rooted deep in his brain and he can't rest properly until he sees you resting

he'll nag and complain about the entire situation (not you, never you), but things are done and you are taken care of. he's very similar to zayne when it comes to taking care of you : clinical, dependable, efficient and strict

zayne

absolutely loves the game, but won't admit it out loud. says he ''likes it because you like it'', says the only reason he plays it is because he enjoys gaming with you

deep down, he finds the game calming, relaxing, and a way to boost his creativity. the type to say that this game is good for your brain because of XYZ (he's just using this as an excuse to spend hours on it without you nagging him about the health of his eyes)

takes the creation of miis very seriously ; takes time to consider their personality, their likes, etc ... will try to create all kinds of stuff for his island and watches tutorials carefully

he'll create a you and him version ; will absolutely try to make them both fall in love and marry each other

if your mii falls in love with someone else, you can bet that zayne will watch tutorials on how to force a break up

caleb

finds it cute and a good way to game with you for hours

unlike zayne, he takes the game with a grain of salt. all of his miis are very ... questionable and weird lol caleb's island is like a mix of different multiverse, his miis are inspired from his interests (for instance, superheroes, pilots, NBA players, cartoon characters, etc ...)

this game is a way for caleb to just be silly in his own way, but also to make you laugh and entertained by his island. while he loves to game with you, he prefers if you were to watch him play

like zayne, he will not hesitate to force a break up if your mii falls in love with someone else. heck, he'll even take the extra step and delete that mii

his island is a mess, pure chaos yet somehow it all falls perfectly into place. caleb will also absolutely look into your island and miis, just in case you know ?

sylus

his island is very boring and limited : there are only 5 miis in there. guess who ? sylus, mephisto, the twins and you

he'll turn mephisto and the twins as kids, that way they can't fall in love with your mii (though he won't voice this out, he'll say some dumb excuse that mephisto technically isn't a grown-up and the twins are ... well, they are the twins)

his island is practically a copy and paste of his mansion. sylus will create stuff that look oddly like his jewelry collection

internally gets shy and a bit nervous when you're watching him play the game. he'll never say it but he feels shy that you might think his island and creations are ugly. and because of this, he prefers to watch you play (will only play with you if you really insist)

prefers to have his hands and arms busy with the real you while you game anyway

xavier

absolutely loves this bonding time with you, will try to find a time in everyday life to play tomodachi together. you're on your console, xavier on his, your bodies close and laying down next to each other -- xavier gets so happy that little orbs of light float around the house

his island is his inner world, his own little Uluru if you will. all the miis are different versions of you and him -- nobody else. that way, you can only fall in love with him, and vice versa

every time he creates something, he'll ask your opinion : do you like it ? what should i add ? what food should i draw ? is this color okay ? he's asking you all these questions not because he lacks creativity, but because he wants you to decide what his island will have, what his miis will wear, eat, and use

everything in his island is about you and your likes

rafayel

takes this game VERY seriously. more than zayne. i mean obviously, this game is all about creativity

his island is Lemuria. his miis are based on his real friends and loved ones. will not allow his mii and yours to fall in love with another person. you and him will repopulate Tomodachi Lemuria

draws everything ; the foods, the clothes, the hairs, the eyes, the face, the floor, the houses, etc ...

can even obsess on this game, to the point that he'd rather paint and draw on tomodachi than in real life (unfortunately for thomas)

will not hesitate to take control over your island (when you are away) to add his own creations. says that it's to make your island ''prettier'' but deep down, he just wants to add more of ''rafayel'' in it

imagine caleb, stressing out in Skyhaven. he's biting his own nails, his legs restless as he keeps scrolling over your texts again and again. it's been nearly 2 hours now since his last text, and you still haven't responded despite the fact that you have seen it.

he tried calling you multiple times during the 2 hours of stressful and restless waiting ; no answer.

he then tried to text you again, double and triple text you just in case -- you didn't open his messages.

he went on your social media, saw that you were online. and you still are online, but you aren't responding to him at all.

at this point, caleb has imagined abandoning this mission and flying back to you. his anxiety was eating him up, he couldn't quiet his thoughts off even for a minute. he tried to calm himself down by rationalizing the situation : maybe you're busy, maybe something came up. maybe you are sleeping -- but then why would you be online ? maybe you're with your friends -- but you told him you didn't have any plans tonight, you told caleb you were going to rest at home and just watch your favorite netflix show. maybe you were upset, but you've never hid anything from caleb.

and if you were upset about something, caleb had tried calling and texting you multiples times for the last hour ; for sure, he would have managed to get a hold of you.

but for the first time since your relationship with caleb, you have gone radio silent. in the 3 years together, caleb has never ever let distance and silence fill the gap between you two.

imagine caleb calling and texting you everyday ; doesn't matter how early or late it is for him, he knows your routine and schedule. he knows when is the best time to talk to you, to contact you. and caleb never misses a chance to be with you -- even if it's by phone.

imagine caleb ordering deliveries to your apartment, every single week. the packages vary, each of them a surprise for you. sometimes, it's your favorite food showing up right when you reach your door. sometimes, it's flowers because you told caleb that the flowers were blooming beautifully, but you might have to look for new ones. sometimes, it's clothes that you added on your wishlist and caleb review that list (in secret) on a daily basis. caleb knows everything about you, even if he is far away.

imagine caleb sending you letters when the distance has grown too long. in your 3 year relationship, caleb's missions have extended with no notice a couple of times. he was supposed to come home, only to deliver the sad news that you will have to wait for another 2 weeks. what caleb didn't imagine is that, behind your phone screen, you had prepared a warm meal for him, prepared yourself for his return, prepared the home with gifts and the latest lego box. he always tells you that he'll make it up -- and you know he will, he always has. but ... the ache lingers, somewhere deeply hidden in your heart.

imagine waiting for caleb for weeks, sometimes up to an entire month. you two cling on the texts and calls as if your relationship depended on it. it is the only way to contact and "see" each other. the only difference is that your heart starts to ache more and more with each passing day.

imagine caleb returning home, the overwhelming happiness and excitement drown you both. your bodies immediately cling on each other, the physical distance gone right away. caleb is downright needy, clingy, emotional. tears flow down his pretty face as his arms clings on to you. he can't stop smiling, can't stop talking, can't stop kissing you. because he knows that another mission will come up and he'll have to leave again.

imagine caleb refusing to look back every time he leaves for a mission. either you walk away first or he does. you refuse to, you want to bid him good luck for his mission. he never says no to you, even if it deeply hurts him. his back is turned to you as he drags his steps away from you, increasing the distance back again in your relationship. the only moment he dares to turn around and look at you is when he is in the plane and the doors are officially shut. because even if he regrets, it's too late.

imagine caleb seeing your tears for the first time when he boarded the plane. you have never shown your sadness before, always putting on a brave and happy face, waving passionately while yelling at him to be safe, to return home quickly. but not this time. when he turned around, his knees nearly buckled to the ground -- tears. and he couldn't even be there to catch you.

and perhaps, this might be a reason why you haven't responded him for the last 2 hours. 2 hours and a half now actually. imagine caleb throwing his plate, yelling out in frustrations, cussing loudly, not caring at all that his subordinates down the hall can hear him clearly.

imagine caleb in distress, angry, upset, stressed. not at you, never at you. at himself ; why didn't he see the signs ? if he had seen your hidden pain, he would have never got on the plane, fuck the mission. he would have talked, reassured you, fix his mistakes. but what mistakes ? he can't quite figure it out, but he knows that your love isn't the same anymore.

imagine caleb now frantically pacing around, urgently spamming you with calls and texts. he's on the verge of sobbing, of lashing out at his subordinates, at his superiors for always sending him on far away missions. but is it really their fault ? caleb is the best among his peers, of course the superiors would choose him.

imagine caleb literally yelling your name the moment you answered the phone. he has never raised his tone at you. he plops down on the couch, his breathing frantic and uneven. his mind is racing with thoughts, noises. his heart is pounding.

Y / N ... are you okay, pips ? been trying to reach you for --

"yes, i'm fine caleb." ; your tone, low and cold. caleb knows that tone, it means you are sad.

talk to me, pips. what's wrong ? he tries to keep calm, but his voice betrays him. you can hear the tremble in his words, how his fast his breathing is, how loud his anxiety is.

"nothing, caleb. i'm fine, just tired."

tired of what, pips ? he knows the answer already. he knows you too well to not know the answer. and it is at this moment that caleb knew he fucked up. he should have done something during the 3 year relationship, he should have fix it long ago.

you gave a sigh, too tired to reply. the silence filled the conversation, filled the gap between you two. caleb ran his shaky hand over his messy hair, closing his eyes for a moment to compose himself : tell me, pips. i'll help you. i'll fix it, you know i always do.

"you did nothing wrong, caleb ... it's nothing new, you already know."

caleb knows. this isn't the first time you're both having this talk. caleb knows how tiring it is to wait for someone, how frustrating it can be to be alone while in a relationship. he also knows how guilty you feel, being upset that he's away for so long. he also knows that in a year, you see caleb for half a year, all spread out -- and he also knows that this turns your relationship into a long-distance one.

caleb knows that you've tried being patient, to give him time to figure out his role and how to make his job more stable, more present for you and him. he knows you've waited 3 years, only for the result to remain the same.

caleb comes and goes. that's just how it is.

and he also knows that you love him, deeply. you would do anything for him if he asked, but he also knows that you're hurt every time your friends talk about their partners, their dates, their hangouts. caleb knows that you both have to wait at least a month to finally be able to have one date together. he knows that his presents are nothing compared to spending time in person with your partner -- the way that your friends can boast about how their boyfriend picked them up after work, while caleb calls you.

so he tried to make himself present through gifts, letters, calls and messages. he tried to compensate his physical absence with materials. and he knows that those means are only a temporary solution. he knows that you want a home, where caleb is present. he knows you want children, where caleb will be present as a father too. he knows that you want to be able to sleep and wake up together more often. he also knows you wish you could share good news with him physically, to see the ways his eyes beam with happiness and pride for you, rather through calls or texts.

and he knows those wishes can't be added on your wishlist. he can't buy that for you.

"i'm going to sleep caleb. good night."

you didn't wait for his answer. caleb sat there for what felt an eternity, just listening to the beep tone as his heart broke. for the first time in your 3 year relationship, you didn't want to talk to him.

caleb also knows that this won't be the last time you'll go radio silent on him.

and for the first time in his life, caleb wasn't too sure who he truly was anymore.

zayne

not as often as one would think. in a world where zayne is allowed to say the L word without Astra busting his ass, i still think that he wouldn't have the automatic reflex of saying it

instead of an "i love you", he'd be the type to say something like : have a nice day at work darling, or i will come pick you up when you are done, or i saw a new dessert place darling, it made me think of you

he'd for sure keep his "i love you"s for times that are intimate and meaningful moments. think for instance : days that you have been apart from him and he finally gets to see you, when he is cuddling you after his exhausting shift, when you cook him breakfast before you leave for work knowing he is sick, etc ...

i do believe that zayne is the type to think that saying it too many times would make the sentence lose its sentimental value

zayne will absolutely blush and lose him calm and cool composure every time that you say i love you to him ; deep down, he absolutely loves it

caleb

opposite of zayne, the type to say i love you before leaving for work or going somewhere without you, when he gets in the shower, when he is about to cook a meal for you while you doomscroll on his bed

i also think that caleb would use that line to tease you sometimes. like purposely "forgetting" to say i love you before leaving and seeing how long it will take before you actually lose your shit on him lol

i do think that caleb says it everyday. it's like a routine, and if he doesn't complete it, then his entire day is ruined right away

as much as it reassures you to hear him say it, it also reassures him that you know just how much he adores you

caleb gets extremely hyped up every time you say i love you to him. no matter how tired or upset he was, hearing you say it reset his mood and energy. he becomes so happy and excited

sylus

even though sylus loves to rage bait you, i think that when it comes to love and anything related to your relationship, sylus becomes quite serious about it

he won't let you use love as a way to tease him or as something to joke about. that goes the same for him, in fact if you really want to make sylus annoyed and insecured, joke about your love for him. he'll crumble shortly

i believe that, similar to zayne, it won't come to him automatically. he reserves that line for special occasions, like a romantic dates, intimates moments at night, birthdays, anniversaries, etc ...

like zayne, he melts every time you tell him i love you. feels like he wants to propose right now, to get married, have 4 children, and die together of old age

xavier

very intimate the way that he says it. he says it randomly, and most of the times it's whispered against your neck as his arms are wrapped tightly around your waist

i think xavier blurbs out the line "i love you" when he is overwhelmed. and that doesn't take a lot when it comes to you lol you could cook a hearty warm meal during a cold evening and xavier would stare at you with complete adoration as he whispers i love you so much, starlight

he would also mumble that line out in public, especially if he sees you latching on him, being extremely affectionate with him and letting him lead the way as the gentleman that he is. he'd feel overwhelmed at just how adorable you look, following his steps and letting him lead the way

so unlike caleb, he might not have a routine to say that line, but you'd definitely hear it more often than you think

be very careful where you say i love you to xavier. grave consequences can follow

rafayel

he's a mix of caleb and sylus : he will use that line to get his way 100% (and we would do the same back to him, obviously), but he'll also express his love for you during intimate and raw moments

for example, if he wants to extend cuddle session to 2 more hours and you refuse, he'd say something like i thought you love me, cutie. guess i thought wrong

or when rafayel feels upset, lonely without you, down ... he'd make his way to you, quiet and moppy as he drops his body down on you. he'd snuggle against the crook of your neck, planting a feather light kiss before whispering i love you so much, cutie. i really missed you

will absolutely do like caleb : he'd pretend to forget saying it sometimes to see just how long it will take for you to notice. he will 100% be annoyed if you actually don't notice it

when you say i love you to rafayel, he feels safe. rafayel feels complete, like meeting your soulmate for the first time all over again -- when you feel that sensation of meeting your dream partner, that excitement, that ''crush'' feeling

zayne

after you've had a bad day, zayne would for sure get right into a ''caregiver'' type of role. cooking something that is nutritious and filling, heating a warm bath for your sore muscles, some cuddle time afterwards for your mental exhaustion, etc ...

zayne is heavy on acts of service ; he sees a problem, he solves it. that remains the same when you have a bad day. he sees that you are unhappy / stressed / frustrated, he thinks logically what you liked and need (both for your body and mental health)

might not be as vocal as you want though. he is capable of expressing reassurance and words of comfort, but i think that zayne wouldn't automatically use his words to make you feel better

very insistent on making you feel better by himself, at home. he'd never say it, but i think he would want you to rely on him whenever you need help (no matter what kind of help). if it comes from you, it makes zayne feel useful (and he won't feel as though he had pressured you to accept his help and care)

will check-in on you (by texts, calls and in person) a little bit more to ensure that you're feeling okay

caleb

make way y'all, mother hen caleb is on the way !

will not let you dismiss his care or help at all ; your role now is to vent, to let your emotions out (cry, nag, go quiet) and to let caleb take care of everything

this man hears you had a bad day and it's almost like he's happy about it ; don't get me wrong, it's just that he knows this is the perfect opportunity for him to take care (which is something he loves to do) and to dot even more on you

like zayne, he'd prefer if he could take care of you privately at home. that way, your sole attention is on you both. though zayne might not express this wish, caleb won't hesitate. in fact, he'll try to manipulate you into wanting to isolate you both at home so he can properly take care of you

sorry to say this, but i also believe that caleb will dramatize your bad day just so he can really drag his time alone with you. it's almost like he's using your bad day as an excuse to do what he wants

sylus

he's had heard enough. this man hears your silence and your sighs, and he's already up on his feet

he'll come physically to get you, no matter how far you are. he's calling you to tell you to stay put and wait for him. forget about pushing him away or dismissing his care, he'll insist on it (of course, by coaxing you gently)

i believe that sylus will, at first, ask you what you want. do you want to spend some energy ? get your frustrations out ? do you want food to feel better ? do you want to go on a shopping spree together ? do you want sylus to drive around with no place in particular, just so you can change scenery ? do you want to take days off from work / studies and travel ?

after that, when you two are alone somewhere, sylus becomes quite affectionate. it's like he wants to physically take the pain away and put it on him (we all know he would do it without hesitation). it's almost like hugging you in his big beefy arms would protect you from anything

sylus is heavy on the physical touch and gift giving. it's his way of showing you that he can give you whatever you desire, and also protect you with his grounding and strong presence

xavier

you've had a bad day ? it automatically ruins his too. he hates seeing you unhappy / stressed / upset. like sylus, if xavier could take your pain upon him, he'd do it right away

i believe that xavier would immediately take you somewhere far and isolated. like to another city, or the countryside. or a hidden spot in a park / hill. disconnecting yourself from the world and just enjoying nature and a peaceful quietness, that's what xavier would offer

if you're not a big fan of the outdoors, xavier will still take you somewhere else. not only would it change your scenery and take you far away from your problems, but it would also give you both some alone time

he'd spend money on hotels from another city if you hate the outdoors. he doesn't care about the money, he cares about your happiness. besides, when you travel to another place, it means the chance to also discover new foods together (he's a big foodie guy) ; besides, good food always makes things better

very heavy on physical touch. like sylus, xavier thinks that keeping you in his arms means that nothing can ever harm you again. the best cuddler and hugger out of the lads

he'll caress your hair while cuddling, rub small comforting circles on your back to soothe you, gently kiss your face here and there to stare at you (he's complimenting you every time, but it's also to see if you're still feeling crappy)

for the next couple of days, xavier becomes a bit ... protective. he's also got the mother hen nature in him -- like caleb, but it's more toned down and controlled

rafayel

rafayel is the type of person that will 100% get you moving. if you move around, then your body is distracted at whatever is ruminating in your mind

if you're too physically exhausted to move, rafayel will talk your brains out. let your emotions out, vent, ramble ... whatever it is, don't keep it all to yourself

these are the rare moments where rafayel is actually quiet. he's listening to you intently, his eyes focused on you as his hands caresses you somewhere, to ground you and make you feel safe / comfortable

he'll start pitching in his comments and opinions once he sees that you're getting emotional or back to ruminating again. his sole purpose is for you to be vulnerable, to know that rafayel is a safe place

he'll take you out after, like a restaurant, a dessert place, a walk by the beach, a stroll in the park, or just a short walk around the block. he'll use humor to make you feel relaxed, to make you smile or laugh again

zayne

i honestly think that zayne would love to see you initiate and ask to spend more time with him. i believe that he also has a timid side when it comes to affection and being clingy. not because he's shy or nervous (that would be more accurate in the beginning of your relationship), but i think it would be because he doesn't want to pressure or burden you with his desires and needs

if it comes from you first, then zayne won't feel as guilty if he loses control over his emotions and desires (and we know he will lose control every time)

he'll absolutely accept to spend more time with you right away, unless he is working. in that case, he's not refusing you, but he'll compromise. like ask you to sit next to him (and do whatever you want) while he finishes his works quickly. or talk to him about what plans you want to do this weekend while he works (he's a multitask king)

will never ever refuse to spend more time with you. he finds your shyness very cute, feels protective in some way

caleb

if you are a shy person and your boyfriend is caleb ? y'all, you won't even need to ask to spend more time together. he quite literally becomes a ''helicopter mom'' type of partner

in fact, you'll wish he could be less clingy

sylus

very similar to zayne, except that this man absolutely melts at your shyness. he adores this side of you, finds it incredibly endearing and adorable

you know those type of dog / cat owners that gets cuteness aggression and starts talking in a high pitched baby voice while aggressively kissing their fur baby ? it's giving sylus' vibe

he won't use a high pitched baby voice, but will 100% smother you in his arms while aggressively kissing / biting you

might push it a bit too far and accidentally annoy you with all this cuteness aggression, but he can't help it

xavier

very similar to caleb, except his clinginess is quieter, less vocal compared to caleb

you won't need to initiate or ask for more time together. with xavier, he's the type to always plan some time together. could be as simple as a small walk to the park late evening, or watching the moon together for a bit, or reading a book together, or going to the nearest 7/11 for one item. everywhere he's going, he's asking you to accompany him

and if you're shy ? y'all, just follow xavier. he's not letting you out of his line of sight for more than 10 minutes

rafayel

rafayel is the king of clinginess, and i don't mean it like caleb or xavier. his clinginess is different compared to those 2 men

his clinginess is more vocal. even if you are away from him (for work or whatever purposes), rafayel talks so much that you'll still feel his presence with you. it is as if he never left

he is non stop touching and talking to you -- in fact, if you ask to spend some time together and even dare apologize for being ''clingy'' ? he's going to make you regret asking that

zayne

you already know this man is taking a day off every time you have a show at the circus. he's not risking it and he's going to attend it, every single time -- doesn't matter if he comes only for half an hour, or at the every end : zayne is there

you also bet he's carrying a personal made first aid kit. this man doesn't trust your team to have your back (no offense)

while he might look calm on the outside, he's actually hyperventilating inside. his heart stops beating for a second every time that you made a dangerous and risky move / act

won't ever voice his worries out (unfortunately) ; the type to actually internally deal with his own stress and worries by himself because he doesn't want to burden you. he wants to show you that he is fully supportive of your career and that he'll always be there, even if some of your shows can actually cost him a good night sleep

before every show, internally prays and manifest that you will never ever get injured. becomes actually quite overbearing with his doctor side because the moment you limp, or show a single tiny suspicious movement, zayne is questioning you and making a full on doctor check-up

caleb

fully support you in this career, but like zayne, is actually stressed the fuck out. he can't be there to catch you if you fall, he has to trust your coworker to catch you, and your injuries can be quite severe ? you might as well tell caleb that you are dying because he's seeing everything in red and black

will actually become quite protective and controlling (sorry to say that) ; caleb is the type to show up during practices and order your coworkers around to ensure that you get minimal injuries (or none at all)

becomes so controlling to the point that he even tells you what you can and can't do during your practices ; tells you what is safe to perform and what is too dangerous ; don't be too mad at him though ... he's just really anxious for your safety and wellbeing

sylus

out of all the lads men, i think sylus would actually enjoy this adrenaline and anxiety. don't get me wrong, he isn't enjoying the idea of you getting hurt, but rather he likes seeing you so passionate and happy about a job, a performance, a project, etc ...

the type that will continue to encourage you, even during your lows. if you fall, you gotta get back up. don't have to do it alone though, but you still need to stand back up. sylus has faith in your strength (at least that's what he tries to brainwash himself in order to not crash out lol)

he'll always be there for you, in fact he's the one promoting and coordinating everything back stage. as long as sylus can control the environment, he knows that you are in safe hands. for example, you are jumping and twirling high up in the air ? no worries, there is a massive mattress balloon right underneath you. no chance that you'll get injured at all

he's the definition of : ''have as much fun as you want because i know there is no chance for you to get hurt''

xavier

i'm sorry to say this, but this man isn't as supportive as you wish ... he's full on complaining and lecturing you about how the risks outweighs the rewards, how a single injury can be life threatening

he'll even go to the point of making up horror stories about how different circus performers ended up paralyzed, dead, in a coma, lost their limbs, etc ...

but no matter what, your decision remains yours to make and xavier will be there every step of the way. in fact, i think that he'll actually become a circus performer just to become your partner. he can't trust anyone else to catch you during shows -- only he can

rafayel

quits his job as an artist and becomes a performer with you

you might think it's romantic, which it's kind of is ... but deep down, it's because he knows you'll worry about him getting hurt. if you stress about him getting injured ... then it means you also might get injured ... then it means it isn't a safe job for both of you ? then it means ... that it isn't a good idea to pursue this career, right ?

joke aside, rafayel is like caleb : becomes unbearably protective and controlling out of stress. wants to ensure that you'll come back home in one piece

the type to ask you : are you really in a hurry to leave me and die ? why do you need to do such performances, cutie ? you can just dance on scene and i would still think you were the best performer to ever exist !