mikeyyy

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

I hate social media subtitles. Subtitle producers in TV and movies have a century of experience in how long sentences can be and how long they should be on screen to allow the average reader to follow along smoothly. Things could still be better for people with low-literacy or poor vision, but it kind of worked. Who the fuck decide to replace that with 'single words flash on the screen in rapid succession for a microsecond each'? That shit is utterly inaccessible, gives me a headache and probably gives some people seizures. Get that shit out of my face now.

kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous

happy first day of pride everyone

Same energy as that time in college I told a girl that “the tarot” says she needs to go call her mom and start going to therapy and she fucking did.

absolutely a granny weatherwax moment. “you need to move the outhouse because its presence is bothering the forest spirits and they’re cursing you” because trying to explain about bacteria from the outhouse contaminating the well wasn’t working.

Sometimes you gotta ask yourself ‘Do I want to be right or do I want results?’ and then act accordingly.

Same energy as that time in college I told a girl that “the tarot” says she needs to go call her mom and start going to therapy and she fucking did.

absolutely a granny weatherwax moment. “you need to move the outhouse because its presence is bothering the forest spirits and they’re cursing you” because trying to explain about bacteria from the outhouse contaminating the well wasn’t working.

Sometimes you gotta ask yourself ‘Do I want to be right or do I want results?’ and then act accordingly.

*flick him in the eyeball*

Oh shit I didn’t even read that this bitch is suicidal my bad *flick both eyes x2*

So cozy in my bed. I really am just a mammal huh

Yeah pretty much

It took me a solid thirty seconds to realize that Phragmites was probably the genus name of the plants in the picture and not, like, an ancient Greek warrior waiting in the marshes to attack.

[Image ID: Text reading: i imagine death, not in a morbid way, just realistically, like a fact. and it rearranges everything. because when you remember that one day you won't get to do any of this anymore, even the most ordinary moments start glowing at the edges. one day i won't get to feel soap between my fingers. or hear my own laugh. or lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling fan spinning lazy circles. one day there will be no more songs that accidentally ruin me. no more late-night conversations. no more sunsets. and suddenly i want to hold everything closer, even the boring parts, even the sad parts. especially the sad parts. because sadness means i cared. sadness means something touched me deeply enough to leave a bruise. /End ID]

Tomorrow is March 28th

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?