guaranteed to blow your mind

be pro-aging but wear sun screen. sun protection is not beauty industry propaganda it will save you. wear it. or else.

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

doctor sleepy just prescribed me with 5 more minutes

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

You know the idea of a secret magical world kind of loses its appeal as an adult because you realize that a) everyone is terrible at keeping secrets and b) there are parts of society you never think about that have all of their own secret rules and jargon but they’re like. Electricians.

There are in fact entire layers of society that you never see or think about that have strange technology but they’re all like transportation logistics or the one guy who supplies dirt to baseball teams.

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

Love the fact that in any other time period or country, a presidential assassination attempt is constant headline news worldwide, but at this point it's like, "oh, someone took another shot at trump? ... he dead?... no, then why are you bothering me?... Let me know when he's dead."

i keep using 'blorbo' to refer to my own OCs to the point i forget its supposed to be a fandom term. yeah i know blorbo from my shows. and those shows? only airing inside my own brain and the dms of a few lucky friends, baby.

not using AI genuinely feels like the rest of the world is experiencing some kind of mass amnesia. if someone says they never use it, the immediate response is that can't be true because "everyone" uses it to write their emails or answer their questions. saw a comment suggesting that not using chatgpt to write an essay is "like the 90s". girl I graduated in 2021 and we weren't doing that! how is it that everyone has suddenly forgotten that they were entirely capable of doing these things all by themselves for their entire lives up until the past few years!! am I going crazy!!!

20-somethings on this website doing none of the things we’re evolved to do for our health and then wondering why they’re so depressed. (smacking you through the screen) GO EAT A LEAF!!!!!!!! GO CRACK A NUT OPEN WITH A ROCK YOU SAD TORMENTED LITTLE APE

i know this is easier said than done and i do not mean this judgementally but you have to start treating yourself like the animal you are in any small consistent way you can. like imagine you went to a zoo and you saw a gorilla sitting in front of blue screens for hours with no natural light no physical activity no interaction with peers no nutritious whole foods no fresh air no water and a pack of cigarettes. you would run screaming to the local news about the blatant animal abuse. you would be demanding boycotts you’d be sledgehammering locks off cages. do you get what i am saying please go squish your toes in mud

This this this! You're your own zookeeper so stop violating ethics boards