you are fucking died. game oval.
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@radicalshadow
you are fucking died. game oval.
PHRASE ADDED TO INVENTORY!

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'minion' -too closely associated with those yellow things
'goon' -linguistic drift gave her a new meaning. i hope her new life is good for her. i miss her.
'henchman' -too gendered. can be shortened to 'hench' in a pinch, but lacks punch.
'servant' -too domestic to apply to all those who serve evil.
'underling, subordinate' -this one only works if they get off on being beneath you and/or you don't properly pay your workers.
'associate' -this one's good for grizzled mercenaries or lone agents but doesn't work good for broad swathes of an organization.
'slave' -same as underling but more intense. really fun for some of the group. unsavory for others in a way that limits the scope of the thing.
'thrall' -only really applies if you're brainwashing them and that's not something i've learned how to do en masse yet
'flunky, toady, stooge, lackey' -these are just insulting, and that isn't conducive to a healthy work environment. imagine going to work and your job title is 'stooge'.
'acolyte' -works for those that worship you, but again. lacks the scope.
'supporter, follower' -unspecific and vague
'assistant, helper, aide' -not sinister at all. just means you're doing things for me. swagless in this manner. could be good if used to describe someone who's so clearly more that as a way to emphasize their obedience via understatement, but that's only useful for a few members of the organization. and even then, 'associate' works better.
'cohort' -untested in the field. suggests an equal footing in the affair, ideal for post-structuralist evil organizations with a bottom-up power structure that's held in the hands of the evil workers themselves. perhaps we'll explore it together?
may I suggest: 'grunt' – time-tested by crime bosses with a variety of goals and organizational mandates. implies a subservient position with none of the innate baggage of lackey et al.
GRUNT IS PRETTY GOOD
sci fi is about one thing and one thing only.....actors throwing themselves around a room to simulate the ship being hit
I know the onion is satire but this is what i give Ollie and he INHALES his meals so the one day I opened a can of the usual and he wouldn't eat it I threw it out, tried a new can, and when he refused it a second time I threw all remaining cans of that line away and he ate the next one no problem
omg did you guys hear the latest announcement

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(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb
do people even call their children squirt anymore
not even sport. not even champ. this is the future we're looking at.
take away the teeth and the eyes children don't have that anymore

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you gotta have freaks and gross weirdos in your life it’s imperative to understanding the truth of humanity
“It’s easy to assume”: someone’s misconception is about to be amiably corrected
“It’s tempting to assume”: someone’s assumption is about to be criticized
“It’s comforting to assume”: someone’s assumption is going to be read for filth
always doing something annoying
can I be honest? I was so pissed off by friends and family criticizing my soap choice that, for half a year, I did an experiment where I washed one hand with Palmolive and one with handsoap, to prove that it didn't make your skin any rougher. and do you know what the result is? it does make your skin rougher. and now I'm even more pissed off.
i had a dream that humans are actually a neotenic state like axolotls, but then one day something triggered like 1% of people to molt and it turned out that our fully mature form is giant predatory butterfly things. so you'd be out walking and all of a sudden an armored insect the size of a horse swoops down and carries off a deer and you're just like 'oh hey, I think that one used to be my boss. looks like she's doing well for herself.'

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It's actually kind of impressive how the Nintendo Direct voiceovers manage to communicate via inflection alone which specific words in the script have a ™ after them.