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When I die I wanna be resurrected as the crab in the bucket of crabs that pulls the other crabs back into the bucket. And I'll love doing it

if i could die i would wanna be resurrected as a crab strong enough to pull your crabsona out of the bucket. and then where would you be

[ if you promise to stay alive just a little bit longer I promise that we are going to make this world a place worth living in by any means necessary.  I ain’t giving up. I swear. end caption ]  

Customer (derogatory)

darling (condescending, with a bit of gay subtext)

I think it's very cool and fun of me that i have a homonormative brain to the point where everytime i see a post where an unidentified person mentions their girlfriend or wife i automatically assume they're gay and get confused if the speaker later says they're a man

We should probably also use this as a time to destigmatize staying home when you’re sick instead of muscling through and making everybody else sick…

Like legit, can we have mask culture? Other cultures have it, I want it, it’s great.

This year I have legit been so much more healthy! I usually get a cold at least once a month. This year I discovered that half of that was hay fever and the other half has disappeared. It’s great. I am going to be that mask-wearing person in future who shakes hands with you and then sanitizes their hands immediately after.