oh this is my goldfish his name is wet little bitch

snap him a titty

just one titty ?

you got more than one??

Help, my wife taught our kid to say “wow” in the Owen Wilson voice and now they both won’t stop

sherlock girl trying to hit on me: hey ;) i noticed the thin indentations calloused into your fingertips. you a bassist? me: that? oh thats from opening pistachios

hey guys who wants to see a christmas decoration someone in my area put up

granch

SMASH REBLOG

he’s not reading this

Who?

Jared, he’s 19 and he never fucking learned how to read

Reblog to destroy all evil energies in your life

if you call women “females” i automatically do not trust or like you

you really wont like the military then buddy

jokes on you, i already hate the military