“ Come on, Eileen I swear (well, he means) At this moment you mean everything With you in that dress My thoughts, I confess, verge on dirty Ah, come on, Eileen “

Don’t forget the reassessment within 1 hour and put in a consult with engineering to verify placement. Also, did you get consent?

You didn’t do it in the right pen. Oh and you need to include your name, signature, initials, job title and bleep number along with a drop of your blood

We really need to verify this for reimbursement, just dribble a little of your immortal soul in that box right by your name.

OMG IT’S THE WRONG WATTAGE.  You must complete an incident before you leave three hours late for work today.

I love nurses.

There are now 5 new online education modules must complete BEFORE allowing patients access to handheld lighting devices regarding use, maintenance, proper disinfection and disposal.  The policy went live 6 minutes ago and the education will be available in one week.   

This is so accurate it’s increased my fall risk due to laughing so hard. 😂

Now the lightbulb needs to complete a survey about its experience being changed. Will only get paid if the light bulb was “always” satisfied with the bulb exchange process.

Guys…we’re screwed.

i feel like this needs to be said: you literally can’t ask or expect anyone to drop everything for you and operate under your terms at all times. you can’t expect people to always be there for you and always choose you in any given ultimatum. sacrifice cannot be expected or asked for, it has to be freely given. and just because someone loves you, that doesn’t mean everything they do will be done with you in mind. if you have a problem with that, then you are the problem.

there’s a difference between making love and fucking and if you’re lucky you get to do both with the same person

I will not beg you for your time or try to convince you to choose me, the world is too big and I have too much to offer.