chlor_ine

Dude. I'm talking to the void here a bit but I can't stop thinking about them. Every time they enter my mind a wave of sadness just compels me. Like what do you MEAN you're a teenager with little-to-no friends who cares SO deeply about the people you love and you're caught up with some evil insane bullshit that you PLANNED probably without knowing the full consequences (or fully understanding them) and you see yourself get attached to these friends who are everything you've ever wanted (even though maybe you're envious towards them for their naïveté and their appearances) and your current best friend, number one confidante, and bully, is developing a romantic relationship with YOUR CHILDHOOD best friend, and you've seen her grow and change and develop and also her sister is missing which could (definitely) tie in with the Evil Bullshit that YOU signed up for and now everyone is wrapped up in it... but also you're being left out of your OWN story by the narrative AND the people who are supposed to care about you the most because you do not control any of your actions from the moment the day starts to the moment the day ends. Not only that but one of your "best" friendships isn't even with a real person, and the two friends you have in reality are rapidly growing closer in their relationship than you ever will be to either of them EVER again!!! And also your parents are both deeply troubled and there's new monsters in town who are taking over your mom's life and your childhood is being stepped on as you're still growing up... WHILE ALL OF THESE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS ARE HAPPENING. oh my god.

I've never related to a character so much in my LIFE man. I love Kris. I love Kris so much. I just love them. And they will never ever know that because I am forcing them into a life they were not prepared for... and I'm forcing them to do evil shit!!! To their childhood friend who they've grown apart from!! And forcing them into norms and boundaries that they don't want to cross and never asked for and did not see themselves capable of. I am awful to them and yet I love them and they want me gone because I am CORRUPTING THEM! And their friends!! And just! The Noelle Susie Kris of it all... bro it's just having a best friend who you are SO close with and then feeling replaced by them because of someone you know so well and care so deeply for and all you can do is WATCH and writhe in jealousy and a very specific wrath towards yourself that you CANNOT escape. But also that wrath is because of ME! The PLAYER! And everything that I have put them through. And I just feel terrible for them. I wish I could properly articulate everything but I might just have to draw it. I'm so sick.

PLUS not even to mention ALL of chapter 5 and just asgore and knowing why he was fired and having that on very public display to your friends and not being able to say absolutely anything about it -- not only that but directly after you leave that world, you have to scavenge these details and lie to your friends (it's the one thing you have control of, but do you??), and then when Susie, who has beaten the shit out of you in the past and has apologized for it, and you've grown insurmountably close with over the period of 5-ish days, tells you that this thing that is the catalyst for your closeness should stop just being between you two but also needs a FOURTH! PERSON! Who technically knows all of this about your father and your mother but not the full extent?!?! And that's it?? Goodnight?? Good job for walking her home?? And maybe you know this, but you have to look forward, at me, someone you don't understand and probably never will (and who is actively working 1) against you and 2) YOU CANT EVEN SEE THAT I SEE YOU) and go home to sleep. And also there's barely any food or water in your body. Also you're non-binary and you hate this sweater. Also all of the implications that come with gender and love and romance and not fully understanding yourself because you are a non-binary teenager who carries knives around in your small town and you're still in fucking highschool man.

Hi friends!! I'm doing art fight this year so COME GET ME

Art Fight Account