dedicating all love songs to myself

so much fear mongering and talk of violent death by fire from the colonial religion. i doubt that christianity can exist without misogyny. when i have to attend church i can’t help but tune out all of it or make my head hurt analyzing what is said. it reminds me that there are people that believe in this way of life or nothing. it’s jarring to talk to family members that expect me to have children and serve a ‘husband’ that i must have because that’s what god wants for me. it’s a conditional love that’s based on who they perceive me as and expect me to be. if i were to put what i practice personally into words i’d be ostracized by most. it’s unfortunate because i think there’s an energy created when africans praise/worship and how potent it would be if what our ancestors practiced wasn’t so demonized. they aren’t bad people but it’s exhausting emotionally. since i was young religious conversion therapy is something i’d always been so scared of living here. i’d seen an image of a man with a burning candle melting wax into his eyeballs, he was caught crying out. i’d first seen the image in a ghanaian meme and later learnt he was going through religious conversion therapy. i hope and pray things get better for the queer and non conforming in ghana・