Welcome student [#26] who happens to be a [PUBLIC COLLEGE STUDENT]. Around campus you have been told you look a lot like [AUBREY JOSEPH]. We hear that your name is [QUINTON ‘QUIN’ JACOBS] and that you are [22] years old. We hear that you can be [EMPATHETIC] but also [INDECISIVE]. Lately you have been saying [WHAT DO IT MEAN BY LORD HURON] relates to you a lot in life, and that [STARGAZING AND EXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS] are your most common muse. We heard you decide to major in [PSYCHOLOGY] at North Chancellor and we can’t wait to welcome you.
MUSINGS || CONNECTIONS || PLAYLIST(S)
GENERAL STATS:
NAME: Quinton Jacobs
AGE: Twenty - Two
GENDER: Cis Male
PRONOUNS: He/Him
HEIGHT: 5′9
- Quin’s always been far too curious for his own good. even as a child, he’d always try to understand anything and everything
- He was also a pretty quiet kid growing up. This along with his frequent daydreams and conversations with animals outside drew a lot of bullies his way. Their words hurt, yes, but more than anything, Quin just felt sympathy for those who attacked him. He knew they were just projecting their own pain and suffering
- As he grew older, he secured the role as the therapist of his friendgroup. He’d always be the one people would go to if they needed to vent, and he’d balance everyone else’s needs while neglecting his own
- ( TW: suicide ) One friend in particular who Quin became extremely concerned about was Eric; the one who ironically would confide in Quin the least. Quin could see his friend was struggling, but any attempts to reach out to him were dismissed. During freshmen year of high school, Quin found out in a morning meeting that Eric took his own life the previous night.
- To this day, Quin is haunted by this, tearing himself over what he could have done and whether or not it would make any difference
- he decided to pursue a degree in psychology because of his innate desire to help others and ability to listen and connect with others - but more selfishly, he wants to redeem himself and “make up” for not being able to help Eric by supporting and helping others in his future endeavors
PRESENT / MISC
- Quin is still a relatively quiet person. He isn’t shy, but he will often hang in the background and just observe
- a massive people pleaser, often to a fault
- is always adjusting himself to try to adapt and fit the situation and context
- he has a bad habit of focusing on everyone else’s problems so that he doesn’t have to worry about his own demons
WANTED CONNECTIONS
- good influence
- bad influence
- childhood friends
- confidants
- unspoken understandings - someone quin can just feel comfortable sharing silence with
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Hunter listened as Quin explained that it wasn’t the birds fault for just existing. It was poetic. “Forget it. I’m over blaming somebody from accidentally spilling my own coffee after jumping.” Hunter would go and find a hoody from his locker and zip-it up to cover his coffee stained tee. “Honestly? I’ll go and grab a jacket or something. Nobody’s going to see it if I’m quick about it.” Hunter shook his head from side to side with a smile. “You like what you like, man. Who am I to cast judgement about your interest? It’s a normal thing to like. I wouldn’t really say it’s something that interests me but each to their own, right? You’re not hurting anyone knowing bird facts.” Hunter wouldn’t tell anyone. It wasn’t his place to make the other become some laughing stock. “What interests you so much about the birds anyways?”
“Okay...” Quin nodded slightly, though he still felt bad for snapping. Still, Hunter was making a lot of logical points that would prevent any embarrassment from people noticing the stain. That was one thing Quin admired and even envied in Hunter; he seemed far more practical than Quin ever had been or would likely be. When asked about his interest, Quin offered a slight shrug and looked ahead again, the bird long gone at this point. “I don’t know... I just always loved them, even as a kid. I remember making a birdhouse and thinking how cool it was to see all kinds of birds taking a moment from their day to rest for a quick snack. I always wondered what their days were like aside from that moment.. and if they go, whether they’d tell their other friends about it or if they wanted to have it just for themself - y’know, like a safe space to just escape from everyone else for a moment.” After a while, Quin realized he was just rambling as he locked in on those specific memories of watching the birds from the window. “And don’t get me wrong, I love learning about other things too, like plants and flowers, also different insects, anything... but birds just - I guess a part of me just wishes I could just... fly away like they can... and wondering if they realize how lucky they are to be able to do that.”
“I haven’t. I find it hard to talk about my feelings,”. It was easier to tell a friend, but when you had an on and off relationship with someone, it was difficult to communicate that you didn’t feel like you were good enough for someone else. Beau did come across as moody and reserved. He wasn’t good at talking about himself and how he felt. “I’ve never thought of him being the problem. Don’t get me wrong, he winds me the fuck up sometimes,” he giggled as the words fell out of his mouth. “But his a good guy, and deserves to be treated by someone who can give him what he wants. I don’t know if I can be that for him.”
“I get that...” Quin said before he had the chance to hold back the tiny clue into his own mentality. Since it was something he struggled with as well, it was hard to think of any ways to get around the obstacle keeping someone back from being open. Everything Beau was saying made perfect sense, too. “It’s hard-- when you care about someone so much, but don’t feel like you can be what they need to be happy...” When all else failed, Quin could always fall back on validating someone’s experience. It was bizarre how hard it was for some people to simply acknowledge the pain someone else was in. “At the same time, though... is pushing him away really hurting him any less than being with him?”
NICO: we should call the administration. there's only one possibility... a mass phone hacking! or maybe alien mind control?
NICO: it all makes sense, i can sell my story to the paps. an alien possessed a greasy long haired man and made him kiss me then send out a mass apology text to the whole student body. how my world was rocked in 48 hours!
NICO: hey mom, have you seen my red swimming trunks?
NICO: oh my god, did i send that to EVERYONE?
NICO: this is so crazy and embarrassing. my finger just slipped down every name on my entire contact list and THEN i accidentally sent it. wow. nobody call the press. i can't live with the shame of this newest revelation after my TOTALLY ACCIDENTAL text.
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cordelia really wouldn’t consider herself a very nice person, she hears the snide comments from the public school kids, she wasn’t deaf but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t annoying when all they referred to her as ; what a BITCH ! then again she didn’t live off those comments. she returns the smile &. it’s almost genuine ❝ to be honest the last time that I had some free time was ——- ❞ she waits &. ponders a bit as she thinks when was THE LAST TIME that she actually did something she herself enjoyed. ❝ well, it’s been a while . ❞ a small giggle erupts from crimson petals as she follows his gaze &. nods sincerely. ❝ how did you even find this place ? ❞ she inquired as she finished the remaining of the popcorn in the small cup.
He waited for her to finish her sentence, but the silence that fell as she thought was more telling. Quin certainly knew what it was like to be busy and bogged down with school work, but he knew implementing time in his schedule to take care of himself and do something that would make him happy was just as important as getting any assignment completed. Blame it on the psychology degree he was striving for, but self care was far from overrated as some may try to suggest. “Well... I’m glad you’re able to enjoy this at least now... What kind of things do you like to do, though? Y’know, back when you had free time to do it?” When she inquired about his discovery, Quin just shook his head lightly. “I don’t even know... I was just walking around one day and really just stumbled here.”
at this point she was stuffing her face with the popcorn the one beside her had provided. she wasn’t ever really allowed to early carbs, ALWAYS had to maintain a perfect image in her mothers eyes. she becomes startled as the other shushed rapidly , she’s about to protest but the sudden dryness in her throat catches her off guard &. watched as he inched slowly towards the gorgeous bird. she’d never done anything like this before but it was peaceful and tranquil . ❝ thank you for asking me to come, I’m having a good time. ❞
Quin’s smile from seeing the bird still lingered as he turned back to Cordelia. For a moment, he just stared, slightly in disbelief, in response to her gratitude. So many people would tear him to shreds, acting as though he was some sort of deluded freak for stopping to take a moment to enjoy how beautiful the world was around them. “Yeah-- of course. I’m glad you are! No one seems to believe me when I say there’s a perfect trail right near the school, like--” he points ahead as they moved forward, trees reaching up to the sky and branches arching on either side of the path to create a perfect archway for them. “tell me that doesn’t look like an entrance to a magical realm.”
“Um, not exactly.” Fable replied looking over at Quin. “If you knew my dad he still strives for the need to control every aspect of my life even if I’m no longer a child, I’m still his only child.” She sighed as she spoke. “I had my funds for my reading cut off and had to work as a receptionist for his company the most of summer.”
“That sounds... really frustrating,” Quin observed, nodding sympathetically as Fable explained. It were moments of these, hearing others speak about their family, that he most appreciated his own. While of course he wished others had more positive experiences, it couldn’t help but slap things into perspective for Quin. And of course not everything was perfect with his family. People would get defensive, lash out, argue, but at the end of the day he knew that home was a safe place that he could always return back to. It saddened him beyond words to know that so many others couldn’t say the same. “Is there anything I can do? I can, like - even spot you if you need anything... you mentioned funds for reading?” Of course Quin wasn’t the wealthiest of individuals, but he wanted to do more than offer his sympathy.
Damn. That definitely sounded more important than her essay, really. “Honestly, I didn’t know it worked like that. Did you pick the topic on your own? I feel like a lot of people would benefit from knowing that.” Hearing Quin talk was ten times more entretaining than working by herself. Maya paused for a moment, thinking about it, before remembering the topic from before. “Don’t you have that app that unlocks paid articles? It’s a life-saver. You know the saying, work smart, not hard.” Maya gestured towards his computer, asking for his permission to show him what she meant.
“I didn’t either! And yeah... We really glossed over it because of a really brief one-off comment in the textbook, but I wanted to look more into it. I know people talk about the link between mental and physical health, but this is such a tangible example backed by research and science, it’s actually kind of baffling how it isn’t more talked about.” Especially in a world where people are encouraged for shoving down their own emotions and hardships because it’s seen as ‘resilience’ when in actuality letting the emotions and memories flood you and weathering the storm was the bravest thing anyone could do. “Wait, that’s another thing I had no idea existed - where were you five hours ago?” He asked jokingly.
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Beau and Lawson had been on and off again for a while. The slim brunette didn’t know what he wanted out of a partner, and he didn’t know if he could give his complete self over to Lawson right now. He had a past that he hardly brought up to Lawson and it was hard to share that part of him with anyone. “I want to be better for him. I push him away because I think he deserves someone who’ll treat him how he should be treated. As much as I would love that to be me, I know it isn’t.”
Quin furrowed his brows a bit and tugged at the sleeves of his sweatshirt as he listened. “Have you told him that?” It was amazing how difficult simple communication seemed to be in relationships, but Quin had no room to judge. After all, had he just been completely open and honest about where he was at mentally with Ivy, maybe they could have stayed together. Communication was hard. Being completely open and authentic to anyone may be one of the bravest things someone could do. “I mean, explaining why you push him away... Because, I’m just thinking about if I was on the receiving end of that, I may feel really hurt... like, that you don’t want to be with me and that I’m the problem, y’know?”
“ OF COURSE IT WORKS . ” she shrugged in response, " i am a theater major love , i could sell condoms to a preist , our professors don’t stand a chance against my charms . " it’d take more than a judgemental look to make her second guess herself , she’d rather throw her money at her problems then try and solve them on her own , " now that i’ve passed the interrogation can we do something ? " she mused with a grin , " or are there more questions ? "
“Good point,” Quin praised, unable to bite back a chuckle in response to the examples she listed. “I mean, whatever works... I think that’s really impressive actually. I don’t think I could ever pull any of those off. People have told me I wear my heart on my sleeve, unfortunately...” It was true; Quin was never necessarily good at faking or hiding something. If he was happy, you’d know, just like if he was upset about anything. The problem was getting him to tap into it himself and expressing how he was feeling through words. “Oh! No....No, sorry, no more questions! What do you want to do?”
A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL . that’s what most people considered it to be when you metaphorically shook hands with nico . he was never up to anything good and something as simple as quins promise would return to HAUNT him one of these days . he could sniff out someone with a gentle nature from a mile away . “ now that we’ve got that out of the way…” nico surmised thoughtfully , shifting with a grin . “ i hope there’s no hard feelings about that whole ivy situation , “ the play was so subtle and calm that it couldn’t have seemed manipulative , provoking at all . “ i wouldn’t want to think that you’d hold it against me now we’re classmates , “ it wasn’t that nico thought quin would , he was simply quietly ensuring the idea and thought of their complex relationship was implanted right where it might hurt .
The last person Quin actually wanted to talk about was Ivy, yet her name fell from Nico’s lips like nothing. A heavy sinking feeling was settling in his chest as he tried to figure out how the best way to respond was. “No, it’s... there’s no hard feelings,” Quin quickly said, more so to just get away from the topic at hand. In truth, he wasn’t even sure exactly what Nico was even referring to. “So, how’s the semester treating you so far?” The desperate change of course in the conversation was far from subtle, but Quin didn’t have time to think of a clever way to steer it to something less painful. “I haven’t completely fallen prey to the hands of procrastination... yet.”
Beau didn’t care about what people thought about him. If people wanted to get to know him, he would open to them. He didn’t go out of his way to make friends. He didn’t see the point. The less people Beau had to deal with, the better. “I have an on and off again thing with my ex,” the brunette confessed. “Him and I are rooming at the moment, so we’ll probably end up talking to one another again for the time being, but we have our ups and downs with our bickering,” beau confessed. “We find it hard to see eye to eye on things.”
“That sounds... exhausting.” Quin could hardly get through one fight with Ivy, he couldn’t even imagine cycling through multiple like that. If he wasn’t so cautious about overstepping, he may have inquired about how sustainable the relationship really was between Beau and his ex. From the little he had said, it sure sounded like they brought more pain to each other than what it was worth. “Do you want things to be better?” It may have sounded like a stupid question but Quin was surprised to find out how many people seemed apprehensive about the very concept of stability. It was even more dangerous and risky than chaos.
“Damn, I hadn’t even thought about that.” Taking an ecological impact perspective might be exactly what she needed to up her grade from a C minus to a B. As she started typing some ideas into her document, Maya raised her eyebrows, looking at the other’s own empty project. “What about yours? Is there something I can help you with?” Even if Maya wasn’t really close to Quin, she had seen him around campus enough to at least know what he was studying. “I’m not an expert in psychology, but I’m sure that we can bullshit something together.”
“I need more sources, but so many peer reviewed ones that are coming up are ones you have to pay for,” Quin explained through a heavy sigh. If he saw on more ‘access to full article’ option that brought up a place to put your credit card information, he feared he might throw the keyboard on the ground. Quin certainly wasn’t a violent person, but when enough frustration brewed under the surface, it was only a matter of time before it boiled over. “But- I’m writing about the affects of trauma on the body, and how it can often impact physical health - y’know like how a lot of the times chronic pain really is brought on by repressed trauma and bottling it all up... it has to manifest somehow, since ignoring it doesn’t just make it go away. Unfortunately,” he added on the last note through a quiet mumble.
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FACE TWISTING INTO A MIXTURE of confusion and amusement as he spoke . to be fair , cori and quin weren’t exactly friends , she knew next to nothing about him and she assumed it was probably the same for him . even still she isn’t someone who has a hard time connecting with strangers ( she couldn’t be if she wanted to be good at her job ) so she let him ramble on the grin never once leaving her lips. " nope , i usually pay someone to do all my major projects so i’m never late on those and - " pulling up the calendar on her phone to check all of her exams, " my next exam isn’t until thursday . is it too much to believe that i just wanted to spend time with someone ? granted it didn’t have to be you but fate brought you to me and who am i to fight with fate ? "
“That... works?” He asked, in a tone more judgmental than he intended for. Quin never had been a good liar, so if he tried to hand in a project completed by someone else, the professor would be able to sniff out the lie a mile away. He listened to the other counterarguments and let out a soft chuckle in response to her question. “It just seemed like you were running from something, but - I suppose that could have just been projection on my part.”
UNFORTUNATELY , HE HAD THAT UNDER CONTROL . he took pause as he examined the man in front of him . he was good at feeding off the insecurities and worries of others , no promise he made ever one that was guaranteed to be kept . “ i’ll tell you what , “ he shifts forwards , no animosity . he didn’t have a problem with any of the students . perhaps that was what made it worse… he was willing to dish on them for no reason at all . “ i’ll give you a one time only special offer and keep your name out of my mouth for this entire term until break and all you have to do is tell me if you hear anything sus around here , “ he wonders if the other will agree , leaning forwards .
Quin tried to brainstorm the options he had in the situation presented to him, and if he was being honest, he’d admit that both options sound equally as bad. “So essentially I can chose between being gossiped about and ... gossiping... about other people who probably don’t want to be gossiped about either,” he relayed the information he gathered, eyeing the other cautiously to see if he was understanding. After a couple more seconds of thought, Quin offered a gentle nod. “Alright... deal.” A loophole was he couldn’t really report anything sus if he didn’t hear anything sus, and he couldn’t hear anything sus if he just isolated himself for the entire semester. Which wasn’t entirely far from what he had already been doing up until this point.