Soulsounding

All 2,317~ish of them

Yes I’m daft

To go try to write up a thing™

Then save it

Left dangling

Due to parts felt unfinished

Should I go on an untrammelled binge?

Of postíng my minds’ half-wrought scrimmage

In the weedy morass of varied mental states

Left in abstract muddles

Like so many splashed-through verbal puddles

Then left behind, quite befuddling

When my words are written scrambled

Cos my wits are in a tizzy

So my rhymes spin up so dizzy

Mentalwriggles jotted down on a page

Scribbles scrabbled from my brain

Working wrinkles out and into shape

It’s a nonsensical heyday

Meet the mad world with the same

Energy in/sane poetic reframe

Pied Piper? Who needs Diogenes

This here’s no chicken’s scratching

Yet for all the feathers’ ruffling

I don’t belong in a pan

Not a bird, nor yet a man!

Want some crazy?

Because I thought it

I thought it because I learned it

I learned it because I encountered it

I encountered it because I existed

And it was either also in existence

Or propounded by others so I experienced this

Revelation of causation, consideration and consequence

You can’t be what you haven’t become yet

You can only do what you attempt

You can’t expect to reach what you won’t seek

Who starts the journey at the sought goals’ end?

Only insofar as you then establish your direction

Even evolution occurs over generations

How can we adapt to what we don’t experience?

Every step makes possible growth’s development

You must experience resistance to be resilient

By definition

So if we become what we practice

Aristotelian thought proposes excellence is a habit

Habits are formed by choices’ repetition and persistence

So to make a choice is prerequisite

Priorities set by our preference

What do we want?

When we know this

We act on it

Whether or not we attain it

We may only hope to gain

What we’re willing to pursue

Unless so privileged as to have it handed to you

It’s not just about what you have or don’t have, though

It’s what you choose to do

With whatever you do have

Where you are

As you can

Choice defines us

Action is proof

Yet -

Empirical evidence doesn’t encompass all truth

Not everything can be repeated

Or tested - or can it?

Some things remain mystery,

Whether aberration, obliterated extinctions or freak phenomena

Still, we strive for comprehension

Refrain & Reframe

I thought of questions

But waited to ask

Sat and thought more critically

Asked myself further questions regarding whether I really needed help

To answer questions sparked by others’ answering

So I asked myself further, and kept on asking

Until I held the answer in mind

In the end, I didn’t need to ask another to help

Because the answer was right there to find

Restraint & Redundancy

I said something silly

In keeping with tone

And most got it,

It’s not a big deal

But there’s always someone who feels the need

To come and show just how much more they think they know

Except context of figures of speech

both in cultural and [sub]texts’ subtleties

I sat with it a minute, contemplating

Whether any response was necessary

But the addition of words at this point

Wouldn’t add anything of use or be funny

What they added was true

But didn’t counter or refute

The whole valid point I was making

So why reply, since it’s pointless already?

Education and Elaboration

Sometimes the best way to wisdom I learned is to wait

And to stop, ponder deeper, to question, to seek

Understanding of more than just the words

And gain comprehensive perspectives’ key

Insight is valid, so are our words

More important still is finding Truth,

and learning to value greater meaning…

…

To spoil the musical mood️️️™

Though it wasn’t really good

To let the dog eat the food

Someone left on the field

Blame’s partly on the dog’s owner,

For the aspiring bard’s downer

Of an in-retrospect doomed attempted serenade

The audience, you see, just happened to be me

And my much nicer, sweeter dance friend

But the thing happened

And I saw it at the onset

If I’d let the dog eat

I’d’ve not had peace

(From the song or conscience either one)

Knowing I had the duty to stop theft

Of food & time - hope they’re all fine

And look back as I do with a laugh

For those attempts both made

Me resolve to behave

With both more resolve and grace

With the grace to say no

When someone wants to show

Is writing then a church

Where words provide a sanctuary

For all human experience & hurts?

If Tumblr’s a confessional

Is Staff then our priest?

Are readers our ordained hearers,

Absolving life’s heresies?

If tags convey our penance

In #spilled ink or #free verse

Is repetition expressed devotion

Or simply sins rehearsed & reworked?

If syllables’ sharing can’t or won’t atone

For crimes of humanity

Heaven help this hellsite - we know

The evils of human commission

Which atrocity deserves to be termed

The ultimate sin, the horror that’s worst?

How do we assign to human suffering, grades

As if one type of grievance is somehow less

Because another is said to be graver?

Is loss of life worse, or abuse of power?

One ends potential corrective measures

The other increases wrongs suffered

I’m not here to argue one over another

Because it seems to be a straw man endeavor -

The greatest wrong to me would seem to be

So

Maybe the best of cats

He loved - no, needed us to pet his ass

So he could eat

Yes really

I’m not exaggerating

So from the beginning

So he tried to give me the last chance at the end

Yet in my busyness and impatience

I missed it

Now

I miss him…

R. I. P. Assbutt…

You mighta been a jerk

Admit that you were-

But you chose me

My ginger lap kitty

It’s nice to be ahead of the curve

Even if you didn’t have a name for it before

Hecque, it’s sometimes even better to not know

That somehow a catchphrase has come about

Like the old ‘Fear of missing out’

I’m wryly glad to discover

My possible schadenfreude has been termed

The joys of missing out

Ah well

I had myself a treat:

Some water (chilled) served neat

Oh, and then to satisfy my ape-tite

I’d watermelon 🍉 sliced and cubed

Of course, I’d not be so rude

As to neglect protein needs too

So fixed a salad full of leaves

With peppers, corn, black beans

Topped with a healthy chunk of meat

Drizzled with sauce (mayo-chipotle)

Paired with kombucha (berry)

Deliciousness both fun and savoury!

Anyway, that’s goodly part of my day’s eats

No, I didn’t post pics on an Insta story

You’ll just have to use your powers of imagining…

Now why am I elaborating

On things most folks share visually?

If a pic’s worth a thousand words

The pity’s that it can’t be heard

Within your mind the while you read -

Plus, I’m still under wordcount by centuries

The pineapple fried rice that I didn’t order

(It was my uncle or aunt)

And the beef laarb salad 🥗 that for once,

Was spicy 🥵 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ enough to make me struggle a little bit to finish

Well

Id also had Mexican food in the preceding few hours

So my stomach wasn’t really needing more anyways

I remember the car ride from the family cemetery

Blessedly quiet with my mother’s brothers

When asked why I chose to ride with them,

I said,

“Because I know you don’t say things without good reason”

And my elder uncle told the other,

“She means we should just shut up, N-!”

We laughed

But I didn’t mean that

I really meant

That they wouldn’t try to pick to try to find a vulnerability

Just so they could turn the spotlight on how they were feeling regardless of others’ sensitivity

And that I could tell them that because I knew they’d understand

And for the most part, only talk if they’d something to say really

And I remember we stopped and got ice cream at the Dairy Queen 🍦

Because I didn’t remember ever going there before

(Until awhile afterwards reminded of how Grandad took us once during a visit)

I remember being grateful for the respect for need for respite and relief

From others’ performative empty shows of grief

…

I remember

Seeing the moment I became the adult in that chaotic tumultuous emotional moment of reckoning

In a stark instant of realization of their own recognized futility

I could handle what needed to be done

So I did it

No regrets

(Sometimes that’s the best path for personal peace)

I wonder how much guilt or regret really compels meaningful change in actual reality

They didn’t know what to do about something they couldn’t talk their way out of or ignore anymore

So they just kept going on as before,

Talking

Full of words designed to elicit sympathy

But

They left the work of actually caring

To me

And others who did

While they blathered and blubbered on

Oh isn’t it heartbreaking

I’m tired of that same old worn song-&-dance routine

I’m not humouring or giving it any further attention or energy

But

I remember

Who did

And who didn’t

And who did, who was there

When, what, and how they could to show real care

& what’s said yet left empty of doing

And

I’m grateful for the undesirable opportunity to gain clarity

Because

The ability to see & recognizing

The glaring difference between verbosity and consistency

Is a lifelong boon and blessing

Or not, even

Or oddly enough,

At odds

Yes

To be an outsider may give us pause

At times, cause to be concerned

Yet

Sometimes

To be at peace

You must detach from the cacophony

Of being

Or often, rather, striving to be

Relevant/productive/profitable

(Really, anything

That’s imposed as a barrier to belonging

Other than simply being and/or trying)

It’s okay

To have standards

And different priorities

The thing is,

Isn’t inferior to being Inside

It’s just another side

Looking in

Instead of out

Of course when it rains,

We often prefer in to out

But

Then again

When it’s lovely

When the sunshines soft

And breezes waft

Wildflowers bloom

Songbirds chirp aloft

In trees’ limbs lightly swayed by wind

I’m happier outside then & there than in

Yet come the night

When coldest, to writhe

And nestle warm beneath the sheets

Seems then superior to me

It’s more often a point of states

When you have exactly what you want

When things go your way -

When circumstances are ideal to serve your ends -

Then

Life isn’t likely to be easy or happy for long

But

In time

And with experience

I found

The greater the perspective

The more I could be glad

For others & the good

That I could give and/or share with them

The more I learned to find happiness

in furtherance of not just my own

but also of others’ benefit

The more occasion I had

To find reasons to be glad

Rather than my happiness being dependent

Solely on how life treated me

I’m telling the truth

But if you reblog tomorrow

July…

…