I'm Not Going To Wallow In Pity

Her expression relaxed into a content smile once she'd garnered Shinobu's approval, though. Of the cafe, that is: she'd put it out of her mind after the Ji-yeon incident, thinking she'd never have the opportunity to take her there. Sonia was pleased, then, she'd been wrong. "Oh, that's good," She said, relieved. "In my experience, it has been the Japanese way to be helpful but quiet and unobtrusive. But I think it's the people, not just the food, that reminds me of being back in Europe. Or at least Italy, and southern Novoselic. It's still different than what's popular here, though. So I wasn't sure if you'd like it. I'm glad you do."

The aquarium had, despite her misunderstanding of the situation on the roof, given them something to constantly talk about. It was strange: she'd never had difficulty finding something to talk to Shinobu about before, save for the day she'd run away from Ji-yeon's concert in humiliation. But since the pool party and coming across her and Rui in what was clearly supposed to be a private moment, Sonia felt tongue-tied, frozen as to what to say without embarrassing Shinobu and implicating her own situation.

Which wasn't a situation, not really. She'd spoken of it to no one and if she didn't act on it, then her feelings weren't real. There was the side of her that she owed the world, a trust and honesty that the Novosonian people believed in her to possess and eventually lead them one day. But a part of her, her father once said, she'd always have to shut away in favor of being the princess, and eventually queen, she was and would be. Sure, he'd mentioned it in the middle of a Friday the 13th marathon when she couldn't stop giggling at a Jason victim getting his head punched off in New York City, but it probably applied: enjoying horror movies and realizing she, in some capacity, wasn't heterosexual.

Sonia was grateful when the tiramisu arrived first, soon followed by their coffees, hers with a rose drawn in the foam on top. As usual, she noted with a small smile: despite the fact that the family who ran the restaurant was Italian, they were aware that the national flower of Novoselic was the Novosonian rose. Nevertheless, it was quickly dissolved into the rest of the drink with the sugar cubes she added to it, giving Shinobu a quick glance of Don't you dare say a thing.

"I hope you enjoy it, both of them," She told them sincerely, even if she wasn't sure what else she could say without sounding foolish. If she rambled about some horror movie or manga or romantic book, she'd probably sound silly, or at least try Shinobu's patience. And she certainly didn't have Shinobu's extensive knowledge on marine and aquatic life to further discuss what they'd seen earlier today. "I-I remembered, I think, that you said you liked tiramisu once, and I don't think you're often too keen on desserts. Probably because they're too sweet, but this one is much more creamy with the cocoa and espresso-soaked ladyfingers overpowering the sugar and-"

"I wasn't intending to overemphasize it," she explained, "and, I don't think it's anything to be embarrassed about. I've said as much before, haven't I? So long as one is open to trying new things when the opportunity presents itself, I don't believe there's anything wrong with favoring or disfavoring certain things." Herself with overly-sweet foods, Anzu with anything too spicy, and Sonia with bitterness. "I was only teasing."

That, too, was atypical for the archer, but Sonia inspired in her all sorts of atypical things that would in time come to be buried two meters deep in the graveyard of her heart. And so, Shinobu didn't say that nearly any ambiance would be accepting so long as Sonia was there. Neither did she say that Sonia looked cute when she pouted, such that it made her want to tease her a little more. When the drinks and desserts arrived, she refrained from mentioning that she was touched at Sonia's remembrance of something she'd said casually, in the arc of conversation.

Instead, Shinobu lifted the coffee to her face, inhaling the scent and taking a small, too-hot sip before setting it back down to cool. The steam fogged up their glasses, and they produced a small cloth from inside their pocket to carefully wipe them clean. Then, she took the offered fork silently, rather than interrupt Sonia, and sliced off a small piece of the tiramisu to be popped into her mouth.

"It's delicious," she said. It would be easy to say the wrong thing, but if this were to be her last outing with Sonia Nevermind, she'd prefer not to be unnecessarily stiff. "The coffee will have to cool before I can properly appraise it, but, all signs point to excellence in execution." Slowly, she touched her fingers to the side of the cup, before setting them back in her lap. "Cool coffee is quite bitter, but for most brews, the ideal temperature for tasting is quite warm rather than quite hot."

There was a faint smile upon her face as she looked up to Sonia, as though about to share a secret. "It's poor manners to do so, but when I'm at home, I'm prone to simply blowing on it to hasten the cooling process. Not that I'd consider doing so at a reputable establishment." Sonia wasn't the only one who could talk at length about a topic of interest. "Please don't worry - you aren't going on and on. I like hearing what you have to say, Miss Nevermind. It's no imposition."

She gazed at Izumi curiously as she continued to eat, wondering if she would answer her question. Finally, her kohai began to speak. "Ibuki has played with some peeps before, but yeah I do mostly solo yolo gigs." It wasn't that she didn't want to be part of a band necessarily, but it was hard to find others that meshed well with her hyper energy. It was honestly lonely sometimes, especially when some found her personality too lively and even annoying, but she wouldn't pretend to be someone she wasn't.

"Mhm mhm, I see." She responded, as the other girl fidgeted. "That does seem tricky. Ibuki would hate to have to play someone else's music tbh. Sounds like lots would be judging you and comparing you to him." She nodded. "If it makes any difference to you though, I see lots of good things about Oni online. Ibuki thinks you're living up to Ryuu and the others pretty damn well! 'Sides you're a lot younger then those old guys and have less experience, but that doesn't stop you from kicking butt."

"Mmhmm," Izumi whimpered in agreement. "It feels like every other g-great Japanese guitarist has passed through the band." Izumi honestly wasn't sure how many guitarists BAKEMONO had gone through in their time together, but she couldn't name any of them, even among the touring-only players, who was anything other than excellent. "It wouldn't be hard to replace m-me..." Intellectually, she was pretty sure that the band wouldn't do that, and Michiko probably wouldn't let them even if they wanted to, but... the possibility was always there, wasn't it?

Even though she'd finished eating, Izumi took her plate back into her lap, dragging chopsticks back and forth just so that she'd quit turning her hands over each other. The other concern, unspoken, was that she didn't know if she'd have enough time to leave an impact. Akiyama-san and Nakamura-san were getting older, and she couldn't imagine the band going forward without either of them. The only thing worse than getting fired for not being good enough, would be getting the reputation as the guitarist who killed the band.

Ibuki's question had the temporary effect of pulling Izumi's attention back from her thoughts. "Huh? Um, we actually have a new album coming out later this year. We just haven't announced it yet because..." Izumi frowned, brows furrowing as she tried to recall. "I think the label didn't want to commit to releasing it until they saw how the non-album singles performed, but now they're just coordinating the marketing and trying to pick a date. I think it should be announced pretty soon."

"Ah, well, even if it's not realistic, having the knowledge is still helpful! Like, if you know all about the birds, we can figure out what parts of them to EXAGGERATE! Even the most outlandish horror movies are based in some kind of reality - that's what makes 'em so scary!" Darumi insists, and she's about to go on some whole tangent about why horror is the best genre ever, but then she's actually being invited to go get something to eat, and she's caught off-guard. Woah! Usually her rambling drives people away, but did she actually just make a friend? Maybe she'll fit in at Hope's Peak better than she originally anticipated...

Darumi had a lot of energy, which Rio appreciated. By this time in the day, she was already feeling sleepy, so to be pumped up by someone else's presence definitely helped keep the conversation going. "I guess that's true. I hadn't thought of it that way." Even so, a film set probably wasn't the right place for her. Weren't they typically busy and loud? Maybe if she had a soundproofed trailer of her own for sleeping in, or curling up to read some manga or do her Final Fantasy XIV dailies.

Speaking of manga, Rio hummed as she thought if there was anything that came to mind that would fit Darumi's sensibilities. "Honestly, I don't want a lot of live-action stuff," she admitted, "and I prefer games when they're kind of anime, which does rule out a lot of horror stuff, I think. But if there's something I like that fits the bill... maybe, Higurashi?" It wasn't that she had anything against more Western games, or anything with guns, but they felt harder for her to get into. "As for gore, I can definitely think of some anime, like 80s and 90s OVAs, that would fit the bill, even if I'm not sure I'd call them scary." That might have been just because she'd seen them so many times, though.

"Well, it isn't as if I've ever seen you decline one," Sonia replied, carefully. She'd bitten her tongue before adding "I haven't seen you decline a kiss, either. Tell me, how is Aoyama-san doing?". She had no right to feel the way she did, to swallow the bile that had risen in her throat at the thought. It would be easier, if Shinobu's red eyes weren't so piercing. If her hands weren't so surprisingly soft after years of handling the bow. If her voice wasn't so gentle, perhaps even more than the uniquely kind tone she took with Anzu. "I didn't mean for that to come out cruelly. It's just...ignorance, I suppose. Rather been feeling that since I opened my big mouth on the roof here."

Finally, she could breathe a little, admitting her faults. One of them, anyway. That was a start, and maybe the relief would be enough to carry her through the day and the rest of her days to follow. To be part of the House of Nevermind was to keep everything that mattered close to the chest, to believe that, if given the tools, the world would destroy her as quickly as it could in a grasp for wealth, for power, or at least the sheer outrage that an aristocracy still existed in the 21st Century. And with that in mind, it dawned on Sonia that a certain place was a short walk from the aquarium.

"It is getting a bit crowded now though, isn't it? And we can always come back another day, now that I know it is something you truly enjoy," Sonia smiled, not having to manage it for once as one hand dropped from Shinobu's, but the other stayed clasped in hers. How else was she to lead her through the crowd and not lose her? "But yes, I am inviting you for coffee but we can do much better than the aquarium's cafeteria, I think. If you don't mind a walk."

Even if Shinobu had, Sonia likely wouldn't have listened. Or she would have called for her car, even in the midst of any protesting from her friend. Besides, the late spring weather was finally breezy but not too cool. Summer was on the way, and soon hot coffee would likely be an unpleasant experience in Japan: its summers were rife with a thick, stifling humidity that Novoselic lacked. Sonia had yet to get used to it, even if she only had one left to spare in-between the summer holiday season.

A few blocks later, lined with various shops and eateries, and Sonia stopped in front of a wood-paneled location that wouldn't have been out of place in likes of Rome or Milan. Just as well: it was Italian, from the signage to the framed menu outside (though small katakana characters were found underneath each listing, just in case).

"It's a restaurant by night, but by day, it is run as a cafe and is the closest thing I've found to Italian food in Tokyo that isn't overly fussy," Sonia beamed, opening the door for Shinobu to enter. "I had wanted to take you here after Iida-san's concert a few months ago, but that, well, did not quite end as expected. I had rather hoped we'd be friends, but oh well. Buongiorno!"

A mix of Japanese and European faces peered at the newcomers from behind glass-lined counters and beside the few tables with patrons, lingering over coffees, panini, and desserts. "Buongiorno, signorine!" they chorused in unison as a young woman showed them to their table for two in a quiet section of the cafe, away from the windows. Precisely how Sonia liked it.

"Order anything you like," Sonia encouraged her, giving only the briefest of glances over the long list of coffees, added syrups, additional drinks, and the list of treats in the glass cases. She'd been here enough times to have it memorized, as well as the greeting to come. "They have my favorite tiramisu I've found in Japan and-"

"Principessa Sonia!" Came the booming voice, loud enough to startle some of the Japanese patrons from their seats. In contrast, the foreigners present seemed to find the man's jubilance rather comforting. Or perhaps it was the olive skin, mess of salt-and-pepper hair and accompanying mustache, and stains of flour, egg, and tomato that dotted the apron he wore. Possibly though, it was the fact he'd emerged speaking only in Italian to the blonde teenager that had just been sat near the wall. "It is good to see you again, si! And you have brought a guest today? How delightful!"

"A friend, Niccolo," She corrected him in Italian, giving Shinobu an apologetic smile. True to the stereotype, the owner and his family were boisterous, passionate people who wanted to share every bit of their nation's customs with the far more reserved Japanese. "And in Japanese, if you do not mind. It will be far more polite to include, rather than exclude, Miss Yaguchi."

"Of course, of course," He switched from Italian to Japanese with ease, giving Shinobu a smile. Sonia's tone meant that, today, it would not be welcomed for every member of the family working in the kitchen to pull up a seat beside her table for a chat, as they tended to do when Princess Sonia of Novoselic dropped in for sweets. "Welcome, Yaguchi-san. I hope you enjoy Italian coffee, no? Sonia-hime tends to have hers with every syrup we offer!"

Sonia's cheeks turned only the faintest shade of pink: her dignity where coffee was concerned had been lost weeks ago during the affogato incident. "Coffee can be good," She admitted, "But I prefer it to be flavored. A caramel latte today please, Niccolo-san, and a slice of tiramisu." She'd add at least two additional sugar cubes to the former with little in the way of shame. There was far more to be embarrassed about than her inability to handle bitter foods. At least after taking their orders, Niccolo quickly bustled back to the kitchen, presumably to temper the expectations of the rest of the staff while fulfilling their requests.

Being a frequent visitor to the aquarium as she was, Shinobu knew the surrounding area better than most, and the restaurant that Sonia brought her to was a place she recognized, though hadn't ever entered. Authenticity came at a price, after all, and if she were going to spend such amounts, she'd awkwardly admit that she preferred the trendier, more global feeling of a cafe that served brewed specialty coffee. Not that she'd say that to Sonia, of course. It was nice to be invited, and if nothing else, the experience of drinking an authentic Italian caffè wasn't one any self-respecting aficionado should pass up.

"Mm..." Right... Ji-yeon. It was natural that Sonia would remember Ji-yeon's outburst most strongly. In the moment, though, Shinobu recalled the conversation they'd had on the phone afterwards. She'd said quite a few embarrassing things, hadn't she? Most importantly, her affirmation that she wanted to be in Sonia's life for a long while. She wouldn't be able to keep her word, with that. Something else she could add to her list of sins, if one day it was required of her.

Thankfully, Sonia seemed busy greeting the cafe and directing the pair of them, meaning that Shinobu could get by only offering her own 'buongiorno' in imitation of Sonia's. Naturally, they didn't follow the conversation that came afterwards, so instead considered what Sonia had said about tiramisu. They'd mentioned before that it was their favorite dessert, hadn't they? Was Sonia saying that for her benefit? Surely she didn't remember something so insignificant, did she?

"Yes, I enjoy all coffee," she answered when the conversation had returned to Japanese. Were Ji-yeon there, Shinobu imagined she'd have pointed out the cultural chauvinism that came with so many European countries claiming to have such a rich history with the drink, considering they had never grown the beans themselves and relied on imports from Asia, Africa, and South America. Well, she wouldn't have been entirely wrong, Shinobu thought.

"I haven't ever been to an Italian-style cafe," they admitted, "but I frequent a number of coffeehouses in the city when circumstances and funds allow. Mm.. un caffè doppio, per favore." Though she wouldn't claim to speak anything other than Japanese and English with any proficiency, Italian was intertwined with coffee culture enough that she at least knew how to order. Perhaps that, too, was a sign of Italy's position of cultural dominance in the coffee realm.

The thought of calling Sonia Sonia-hime was enough to amuse Shinobu. She'd never say so herself, knowing as she did that the other girl preferred to forgo such titles among friends. Still, it sounded a bit cute, didn't it? Then again, perhaps most things would sound cute next to Sonia's name. Among their many regrets was one of how they wished they'd used her name more often. Unfortunately, their strict speaking style got in the way, and it'd be too much to change now.

"Ooh." She looked on in interest as the song was selected. "This is an oldie but a goodie!" The musician could tell that the other girl was nervous. "Don't mind me! Just pretend you're jamming out in your room alone, or wherever is most comfy for you! Ibuki is just a notch on your bedpost right now!" She winked playfully, as the girl began to play in earnest.

Before she knew it, she was lost in the tune, head banging once more. She wanted to get up and dance with her whole body, but she managed to hold her excitement back. She had a feeling that would startle Izumi, and cause her to withdraw in her shell once more. It seemed that was inevitable though, as the song ended all too soon, and she could see her kohai visibly retract. She pouted a bit as Izumi placed the guitar back into the case. "D'aw. It's not imposition at all. I'm always down for a jam sesh! Fo sho!"

She blinked a bit, studying her. "You okay though? You seem a little bit down in the dumps now. Music should bring joy not despair!" Ibuki wasn't the smartest, but she was uncannily observant at times. She wouldn't push her for anymore music... for now. "Ibuki would love to hear more sometime but I'll take what I can get. Ibuki is just so lucky to get to hear Oni preform!" She pumped her arm in the air.

The offer of a jam session, at any time of Izumi's choosing, was nice, though she didn't think she'd take her senpai up on it. Even if the other girl was clear that it wasn't any kind of trouble, she couldn't help but feel like she'd be in the way. That was one nice thing about recording almost everything for her band remotely - she never had to feel like she was slowing down more seasoned musicians who already had worked out a process. She'd have felt awful if her inexperience caused any trouble for other people, after all.

If she thought she could get away with it, Izumi would have tried to brush of Ibuki's concerns with a few words - perhaps just attributing everything to her own shyness or awkward nature. Something told her, though, that once Ibuki settled on something, it was hard to shake her from the trail. That being the case, it was probably better just to explain what she felt as briefly as possible, in hopes of not inviting further questions. That would work... right?

it ought to have been an underhanded insult, an art her mother had perfected when speaking of her father.  what kanae lacks is her conviction,  her boiling resentment,  the acid emptiness of the word, husband.   but that would not be them, and so–   she morphs it enough to make it sound like a gentle excuse.    she steps to the side, as if to give shinobu enough space to walk beside her.   

“shinobu,” she says, half to herself, because it seems most natural.   there is, to her knowledge, a small garden further away from the well-maintained lawns—  left to be overrun by weeds.  she cannot explain the need which possesses her by her feet and pushes her towards it,  though she exerts her will enough to ignore it. the path out of the courtyard is shortly ahead,  the sunlight ghosting over the newly-laid stones.  “isn’t it so odd to meet now?”  i will be a bride– “we will both be graduating soon enough.  hard to believe so much time could pass by so soon,  or that it will. i find it hard to believe that i couldn’t have spoken to you or many others sooner than now.”   

her father was never a hypocrite, and he would never have her educated anywhere else, for as long as she can recall.  ohtori is the entirety of her world,  and she is its pearl.   

“solitude is different,” she says, and her fingers twitch.  she has enjoyed the waves of gossip and chatter and young adulthood that crash over in dressing rooms and ballrooms and classrooms.   the idea of being without has never once occurred to her, but she looks to them,  and wonders if there is such a thing as being whole in the presence of no one.   “but i'm told you can be discontent and alone in crowds of millions–  you are barely heard, or seen in such a bustling body of people.”   yet she cannot place shinobu’s face among the crowd–  not among her classmates,  not among her seniors,  nor among the few who would spill over into her own clubs for a lack of space and purpose.   kanae purses her lips.  for someone so intent on not imposing upon,  theirs is an unmistakable presence.  

"I've found that my romantic reputation is rather poor in some circles, such that most young men prefer their girlfriends not associate with me," came an answer, if not the answer. Besides, mentioning their own popularity and good looks was surely too conceited. "Though, I would expect the chairman to be far more clearheaded than that. There's hardly any reason for someone in his position to be jealous of someone in mine." After all he'd done for her, Shinobu had no desire to unsettle him, and yet... Something faint and quiet gnawed at her.

It couldn't be placed, and so they'd have to leave it be for the moment, instead taking a step forward to walk alongside the other girl. "Mm. I suppose my experience has been something akin to that." It wasn't like her to speak about herself at any length, or with any sense of vulnerability. In the eyes of her classmates, Shinobu Yaguchi was a fantasy over which to fawn, or an obstacle to be overcome. To their father... naturally, he'd prefer that she just kept her mouth shut and devote herself wholeheartedly to the family's continued excellence. Well, it was a problem with no solution, so what reason was there to lament it?

As she was spoken to, Shinobu politely looked towards Kanae. She really did appear so familiar, such that they doubted whether it could just be her general visibility as the acting chairman's fiancee. Her memory was supposed to be sharper than this, wasn't it? "I don't know that guiding is the word I'd use," she started, a small frown dragging down her lips, "but if the current student council members sought my counsel, I'd offer it freely." Surely, that wouldn't come to pass. "I imagine it unlikely, though. The president hardly needs my opinion, and the vice-president would sooner tear out my tongue than listen to anything I have to say." Tsuchiya was gone now too, wasn't he? That left only Miss Arisugawa.

It was cute how Izumi got so excited to talk about music, but then seemed to withdraw in her shell once again so quickly. Ibuki hoped she would grow more comfortable being herself around her soon. "Not a bribe! Ibuki just loves to share her love for music with fellow music enthusiasts! If someone will use her, I'm happy! Instruments are meant to be played, not to just sit around collecting dust like Mom's china or whatever. Besides, this school just throws money at us for whatever our creative juices need! But if you wanna borrow her, that's cool too. Ibuki can bring her to school tomorrow!"

The musician's eyes lit up as she browsed the Chinese food menu. "Oooh good choice! Sweet and Sour pork it is!" She added it to the order before frowning. "D'aw Ibuki likes a little bit of spice." She winked playfully. "But guess Izumi chan is not into spice. No worries, no worries. Plenty of other food that will be yummy in our tummy!" As Izumi set up the amp, Ibuki sent in the food order. She didn't mind someone setting her amp the way they preferred. The more times she had to change it, the more practice she got anyway, and she was pretty fast at adjusting it just the way she liked it now.

"Peeking, peeking," she observed as Izumi finished setting up the pedals she would be using. Ibuki figured she would just hit all the range of notes and do just a few strums, but before she knew it, the other girl began to play a whole song, "Mr. Scary." It was one of Ibuki's favorites from Bakemono, and she stared, enraptured for a bit, as Izumi lost herself in the rifts.

Thinking as she was of food, hoping that it would arrive quickly and negate the need for conversation, Izumi was entirely unprepared for Ibuki's excited response. "Ehehe..." came her weak laugh. "That's r-right, I am her, so..." This was getting dangerously close to a normal live performance, and she wasn't any good at those. Still, with Ibuki looking at her like that, neither did Izumi want to let her down. "I guess I can do one m-more."

After adjusting the settings again, Izumi plugged her phone into one of the speakers. Other bands' music was one thing, but when it came to BAKEMONO originals, she usually had the stems with her. Nakamura-san had given her versions of all the old albums with the lead guitars cut out, both so she could practice without distraction, and so she could develop her own parts if she wanted to deviate from the studio versions in future live performances.

As if. It had taken Nakamura-san, as the the bass player and composer TENGU, and Akiyama-san as the singer, rhythm guitarist, and primary lyricist YUREI some time to become the legends they were now regarded as. She knew that both of them didn't consider BAKEMONO as really starting until the 90s, lovingly deriding their 80s output as "cheesy Loudness rip-offs." Akiyama-san had mentioned off-hand that, had it not been for RYUU-san, those early albums would never have generated enough interest to keep the band going.

There was no way anyone would measure up to RYUU-san, and it would be the height of arrogance to try to improve on his work. So many metal guitarists of the 80s just picked some famous guitarist to emulate, but while someone could hear the influences of Rhodes, Van Halen, and Malmsteen on RYUU-san, Izumi would think it'd be crazy to call him anything other than a true original. "This is Midnight Time Rider," she murmured in a small voice, starting the leadless version of a fan-favorite BAKEMONO track from the early 90s and then accompanying it herself, exactly as RYUU-san had laid it down over thirty years ago.

The musician gasped in horror as she saw Izumi clearing space in order to sit on the couch. "Please let Ibuki!" She grabbed mountains of music books and vinyls, and placed them on her already heaping desk. "Are you surely sure? Ibuki knows she should keep a tidy work place but man... cleaning is just such a drag. I'd rather be jamming out then throwing stuff away!" She admitted. It wasn't that she was just a busy senior entirely, she was simply too lazy to clean a lot of the time.

"Wooow an AZ427P2QM?? Those are hecking sick and pretty pricey! Impressive!" Ibuki listened to her analysis of fenders and nodded, humming in agreement. "Izumi chan really knows her stuff huh?! Ibuki likes her fender, but it's true the quality is just not on par with the humbucker. Ibuki has one of those at home along with about... five other guitars! I have lots of other instruments too back home. These studios are just too small for all my instruments." Or... She just had too much useless clutter in hers. "Jazzmaster is the creamy crop of the fenders though! I promise she makes all the panties drop!" She ran over to the guitar and gave it a solid strum, as if to prove her point.

"Thunderbirds are badass! Ibuki also has one of those. Ibuki.. doesn't really use it though. So maybe you could have it? If you become besties with me! It would be nice if someone would use it more than me!" She loved to share her passion with music, and she was thrilled to find someone as enthusiastic about it as her. "Sooo do you wanna make sure your baby is okay? She had quite an icky fall. No scratches, but ya know... gotta make sure her insides are all okay if you know what I mean?" She gave Izumi a suggestive wink. "You're more than welcome to plug her into one of Ibuki's amps while she places the order for Chinese food!"

Although if she wanted to shed the title of Ultimate Heavy Metal Guitarist and one day receive the honor of being just the Ultimate Guitarist, she'd need to diversify her output. That was the point of her Zuminn project on Bandcamp, but she didn't need to tell Ibuki about that. All the songs on that account were free to download, since they were just experiments in composition and different styles, without much cohesion or expertise. She'd be embarrassed to show another professional that work.

The offer to give her a Thunderbird was enough to shock Izumi back to her typical timid senses, and she raised her hands. "That's way t-too much, senpai. You d-don't have to bribe me to be your friend." Of course, if Ibuki was insistent, Izumi supposed she could take the bass off the other girl's hands... No no no Izumi, that wouldn't be right, not at all! "Maybe I c-can just borrow if it I need it for something. That way it's n-not an extravagant gift." That seemed like a better solution to her than being gifted an instrument worth over 300,000 yen on a whim.

Once the topic of her AZ was broached, Izumi nodded, unzipping her bag and pulling out her guitar. "Maybe sweet and sour p-pork? I'm not really picky as long as it isn't s-spicy." Ibuki had cleared some of her things but it still wasn't exactly easy to maneuver. "Please excuse me," she mumbled as she dug through the gear for a cable, and then began to organize some pedals and set up the amp the way she liked. It was weird messing with someone else's settings - she was so particular, herself, and one thing that really set her off in the studio was when one of the other band members touched her dials before she could get a photograph.

It would be weird to play her own music in the presence of a more experienced musician, so Izumi sat with her guitar on her knee, thinking of what to play. Mr. Scary was her go-to warm-up song, so that would work. At first, Izumi intended just to run through the opening riff or two, just to make sure that everything sounded fine. But... probably she should check to make sure the pitch harmonics sounded good right? And that the whammy bar was still in place, and wasn't de-tuning the instrument. And that the strings could hold up to some punishment.

"Ooh, so most birds are lone wolves, huh? I guess we have that much in common, then~" She wouldn't have guessed as much, most of the birds she's seen hang out in flocks - but she supposes that those guys aren't exactly birds of prey. Still, it's a little disappointing that it's basically impossible and is never going to happen... Until Rio mentions her own ideas, and she's back to being fully invested in the conversation, mind running wild with imaginary blood and gore at the talons of these cool, exotic species she's never even heard of.

The next question prompted from Rio a thoughtful hum. "I think there's an actress in the third year, and a stuntman, so there are probably people who could help. Oh, and in the other third year class, there's an animator? But I'm not sure anyone's a director exactly." Then again, there was always next year. Who knew what the incoming class would bring then. Even so, she couldn't exactly tell how serious her classmate was about this whole thing. Her talent didn't exactly line up with making a movie, although Rio absolutely wasn't about to bring it up.

Oh shit.

Sonia's mind went blank. Not the blissful sort, not the sort she'd felt the first time Gundham had kissed her or when Chiaki had offered her a piece of her karaage chicken on Sonia's first day at Hope's Peak Academy before suggesting they be friends. No, this was the panic sort of blank, the sort of feeling that Sonia couldn't let show on her face.

Regret, yes. Apologetic, of course. But panic, panic was reserved behind closed doors. Members of the royal family were composed at all times even, and especially, when they were in the wrong. And as much as she endeavored to be a normal teenage girl, some habits were hard to break.

Only the likes of those who knew her well, Chiaki and Gundham mostly, knew when Sonia's smile didn't reach her eyes. When her kind words were laced with sarcasm and double meanings rather than sincerity and warmth. Shinobu wasn't one of those people. More importantly, Shinobu couldn't be one of those people, who could riddle out the muddled mess in her head and her heart and read her for exactly what she was: someone determined, desperate, to let the truth stay buried. No one would get hurt that way. Besides Sonia herself, and that was always acceptable. For the good of the country, or the world, or anything bigger than herself, which her life mostly, nearly entirely, was.

"I am so sorry, I truly had no idea," Sonia began. By sheer will she managed not to stammer in Shinobu's seemingly embarrassed presence. Of course she was, this was hardly a situation she wanted to be in. She swallowed, steadying her nerves: at least her remorseful look was genuine. That's all Shinobu needed to know, that it had never been her intention to put her in such a position.

Even if, deep down, the most important reason why was Sonia's self-preservation. This was a path Shinobu chose and could walk herself, but it was never an option for Sonia Nevermind, Princess of Novoselic. Surely Shinobu knew that, and that was what mattered. She didn't need to know that when she'd mentioned the aquarium being a prime spot for lesbian dates that Sonia had briefly considered the prospect, with Shinobu, before forcibly pushing it out of her mind. In the glimpse she'd had they'd held hands and Sonia had bought her a small stuffed plush of the jellyfish Shinobu had rescued, that she'd never forget her kindhearted deed for as long as she lived, that she was always a better person than the rest of the world regarded her as.

And kissing had been involved. It was only a moment though, hardly enough time for her imagination to elaborate on the practice.

"If I had known, I would never have suggested it," She sighed, chewing the inside of her mouth once before letting go. A habit her mother always scolded her for, and Sonia could hear her in her mind already. For chewing the inside of her mouth. For even entertaining the idea of kissing a woman. For many things, Sonia was sure, that didn't live up to what the Princess of Novoselic needed to be. "You must have wanted to come here with someone you truly liked," She paused, exhaling deeply. Every word felt like a new cut into her flesh, a stinging reminder of how bitterly painful it was to say. "Not me." Never her. Not like she saw her like that anyway. Ji-yeon and Rui, yes. But Sonia wasn't like them: independent, confident, beautiful, unafraid to turn their backs on the conventions and expectations of the society they lived in. That, Sonia felt, was the sort of woman Shinobu Yaguchi liked. The sort she'd prefer to visit the aquarium with.

Not her. Never her.

At least Sonia could still smooth down the front of her skirt and smile at the penguins, determined to make the best of it all. And maybe try to escape the now-prying eyes of the female couples around them. Didn't they understand that she and Shinobu were just friends?

She turned her gaze away from Sonia, pretending to focus intently upon the penguins. "There isn't anything to be sorry for, Miss Nevermind. Please don't jump to such unnecessary conclusions." It sounded colder than she intended, and the words had barely left her mouth before she regretted them completely. That sounded like something the prince might say, as if the very thought of someone else's worry was an inconvenience. How easily she slipped into that register when not actively choosing otherwise.

It was the American writer Kurt Vonnegut who had said 'we are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.' Shinobu had not considered herself to ever be pretending about anything, but recent events had brought into sharp focus some difference between the person she would perhaps prefer to be, and the armor in which she'd outfitted herself - armor which had only recently begun to chafe, as though it no longer fit.

Tragic, to realize such a thing at a point where she could no longer remove it. Whatever her thoughts about it, though, this was the only path left available to her. There was no sense lamenting their lot in life, nor the decisions they had made that had left them to this point. In actuality, Sonia was offering an out, without realizing it. Surely, they both felt awkward, so excusing herself and returning home wouldn't seem out of the ordinary. That wouldn't her preference for their last good interaction, but it could be enough, couldn't it?

She felt like sighing. Sonia Nevermind, why are you such a dangerous person for me? You're making so difficult for me not to do something I'd regret, and yet you're somehow entirely unaware of it. Yes, truthfully, setting aside what they knew they would have to do eventually, it was Shinobu's impulse to comfort her. Under better circumstances, albeit unrealistic ones, she would have liked nothing more than to soothe Sonia's anxieties with a kiss. Instead, she hoped the other girl would settle for something else instead.

Once they'd stepped to the side, away from the penguins, Shinobu guided Sonia over to a somewhat more secluded part of the rooftop, near one of the service doors. During feeding time like this, and in such a location, they imagined no one would be watching them. That was just as well, both to avoid any inconveniences to Sonia, and to avoid any kind of overly-sympathetic audiences who might get the wrong idea.

Gently, she took both of Sonia's hands in her own. "Miss Nevermind, please don't mistake me - I'm here because I wanted to be here with you." Her voice was gentle and soft, both to try and set the other girl at ease, and to deter would-be eavesdroppers. "I know my actions might imply otherwise, but I'm capable of declining an invitation if it doesn't suit me." That was a joke, even if her tone of voice seldom conveyed jokes well.