yesterday I made a comment on twt about how Lottie's death is getting easier on me over time, while Van's death is becoming more difficult for me. oomf disagreed (which is totally valid), and I decided to turn my response to her into a tumblr post.
it might also be helpful to add context to this by reading this post I made about Lottie's death, if you're interested.
let's start with this: I really think Lottie wanted to die.
(I also still think-- when she asked the adults to pick a cup of poison in the adult tl-- she knew which cup had the poison and was hoping they'd let her go first)
I think, in many ways, she was always ready for it to be her. even when the first hunt happened, when she was dying in the attic due to the beating Shauna gave her, she was disappointed that they'd hunted Nat and allowed Javi to die instead of just letting her die instead.
but, beyond that... what makes her death easier to take over time is the fact that no one really mourned her. when Misty announced to the others that Lottie was dead, no one even cried.
when Van died, on the other hand...
was Lottie's death a little rushed? did it lack the build up some of us would have preferred? oh, absolutely.
but the only people mourning her are us-- the fans. there's no one left in the narrative who honestly cares. even Lisa seemed to care more about Nat's death than Lottie's.
Tai, meanwhile, will be affected by this for the entirety of the final season. it will drive all her actions. it will probably drive her into killing (most likely Mel, but... she might even take a stab at Shauna, who used to be one of her best friends).
not to mention, as I said in that other post, Lottie was killed by the person who should have killed her. it might have been rushed, but it felt right. also not to mention my theory that Lottie probably even saw a vision of her death 25 years earlier.
but Van was killed because she ultimately could not bring herself to murder Mel. she died, in effect, because she's too compassionate. and don't forget how sad she was when Mari died. or how she talked Travis into eating his brother-- not because she was thrilled about cannibalism-- but because she cared enough about Travis to try and help him survive.
I'm not saying Van is perfect. no one on this show is perfect. but, for as much as people talk about Nat being the "moral compass", I think Van might have actually had the most heart out of all of them.
please don't get me wrong. I'm still going to miss adult Lottie. I'm going to miss Simone Kessell's amazing performance. TRUST.
but I grieve Van much more these days, because I know how it's going to affect Tai. and those bastards (aka our sick and twisted showrunners) might even make us watch the post-rescue taivan breakup just to stick the knife in and twist it a little harder.
will I stand up and say "absolute cinema"? yes.
but will I cry buckets while I do it? also yes.
I've already grieved Lottie. that's what this all boils down to. but when I look ahead to the final season, I know this show is not done making me grieve Van, and that's why her death is getting harder over time.
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