The Galaxy’s Most-Hated Elevator

The Quesh Elevator’s last known location is Quesh. It appears to have spontaneously disappeared and reappeared on an unknown moon. Experts are baffled. Quality of life on Quesh has exponentially improved by the day in its absence.

The elevator is out of commission until further notice. Descent to the surface must be done on foot.

Despite scientists previously assuming the Quesh Elevator had reached peak annoyance, new reports have surfaced suggesting that it got worse. After some dweeb loudly announced that they lost the game while riding the Quesh Elevator, it appears that the Quesh Elevator has learned of the game and is now using speakers to announce that it has lost the game every few hours. Corpses found at the bottom must now be examined to determine if cause of death is from misjudging the jump or intentional self bludgeoning after losing the game.

More at six.

Reserve your spots now at the official website.

According to a recent study, exposure to the Quesh Elevator has more immediate and profound effects of anxiety, depression, and anger than any number of differential equations. Even applied problems cannot quite compare to this god awful elevator.

Despite the company greenlighting the project in 2014, significant roadblocks have delayed its release multiple times. However, the game is totally ready this time and all the bugs have been fixed. It also runs on all your consoles!

Psychologists are studying the long-term effects of exposure to the Quesh elevator and are looking for volunteers who have survived the elevator one or more times. Compensation is provided based on how many sessions are required to gain the necessary data.

Somguy, Steve Report on Bullshit, Journal of Useless Crap Fall 2020. Accessed 3/25/2021.

Free spice at the bottom to those who survive.

More news at seven.

Despite popular belief that riding the Quesh Elevator is the longest endeavor a person can partake in, recent studies of college students have confirmed the worst: time passes slower in online lectures, thus making them longer than a ride on the galaxy’s most hated elevator.

The Quesh Elevator is open to all, 24/7. Come by Quesh anytime ;)

Managers who force workers to come in sick or risk losing their jobs and/or don’t provide adequate support for workers sick with coronavirus will be catapaulted onto Quesh’s surface for a special visit with the Quesh Elevator.