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Celebrate Gender Diversity With - Trans Pride Soap!

This hand-made soap is crafted after the image of Guanyin, an East-Asian goddess who transitioned from mortal assigned male, to divine woman, after reaching transcendence. 

Each soap is made with shea butter and coconut oil. Available in four different scents, based after gender identities;

Trans Woman scent ’Longnü’ ((Strawberry, Lemon, Lilac, Freesia, Patchouli)

Trans Man scent ’Iphis’ (Rosemary, Buttermilk, Frankincense)

Nonbinary scent ’Balathang’ (Tea Tree, Pink Grapefruit, Clary Sage, Ylang Ylang) 

Genderqueer scent ’Loki’ (Gardeina, Honeysuckle, Sweet Pea)

Agender scent ’Mwari’ (Orange, Bamboo, Lavender, Choya Loban)

Even when you’re “out & proud”, you may feel nervous when your identity comes up around people you don’t know well. 

That’s perfectly normal! 

The truth is that we are never really done coming out. Even when all your family members and friends and classmates know that you use he/him pronouns, you may get a new teacher who you’ll need to explain this to. Even when all your neighbors know that the girl you live with is not a roommate but your wife, the family who only just moved into the apartment building will not know. And that’s just two examples. 

And each of these “little” coming-outs brings some uncertainty. It’s normal to get nervous, even if these people and whether or not they support you is of little importance for your life as a whole.  

It doesn’t mean that you’re secretly ashamed of or uncertain in your identity. Having to share private details with strangers is always a bit awkward, no matter how proud and confident you are. And this is especially true when you have to share these details purely so you can get your basic rights or to avoid even more uncomfortable situations (for example, to be allowed to go to the appropriate bathroom or so your new neighbors don’t refer to your wife as “the babysitter” when they see her playing with your kids)    

Not loving these “Hey, I’m trans” or “Hey, I have a girlfriend” conversations does not mean you’re not happy with your identity. 

With all my love, 

Every time someone Reblogs this photo I will donate 10 cent to charity: water

After the money is donated I will post proof of donation.

Show you care & Reblog.

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

DON’T SCROLL PASS! FOUND THIS ON GOOGLE+ AND I FEEL LIKE IT IS IMPORTANT!

 Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities

Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him

Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)

Picking a guy at random to be attracted to

Choosing to be attracted to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch – that’s a common lesbian thing

Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them

Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with

Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them

Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them

Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man

Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

Going along with escalation because it seems like the 'appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness

Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic

Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually

Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends

Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals

Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless

After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted

OR: preferring to 'be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore

Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred

Using sex with men as a form of self-harm

Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)

Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it

Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him

Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing

Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women

Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else

Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)

Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend

Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her - love you may read as platonic

Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent

Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate

Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”

When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”

Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people

Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)

Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men and being more careful not to look than they are

The 'straight’ version of you

Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women

Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media

Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”

Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men

Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic

Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+

Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.

Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman

Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman

Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know

Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position

Really focusing on the women in het porn

Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’

Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that

Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian

Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy

Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian

Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you

Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian

Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man

Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be

Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy

Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly

Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men

Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you

Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian

Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% sure you’re not attracted to men and can’t be 100% sure you won’t change your mind, you can’t be a lesbian

Worrying that you only want to be a lesbian because of trauma and that means your lesbianness would be Fake

Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian. 

And if you’re not sure yet – if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

This is my gift for all of you, I hope you’ll like it ♥

/ Mod W

Tipping the Velvet 

based on the book by sarah waters (she has written many lesbian books!)

it’s a bbc adapatation

technically a mini series but i like to see it as three hours of lesbian content heaven

it’s about this girl who falls in love with an actress and she goes to see her at the theatre five billion times until the actress notices her (that’s just the first part, other things happen to the main so watch the rest for more lesbian content~)

the main character (nan astley/king) is like… my fave. i love her.

the book is very good too!!!

honestly i have so much love for this movie/book i get all giddy just thinking of it

Bound

lesbian gangster/mob movie do i need to say more???

the main actresses are cute af (one of them is a butch lesbian!)

it’s awesome and very cool

(gonna trigger warn for use of lesbophobic slurs used by some characters/some lesbophobic violence)

Below Her Mouth

meh plot with amazing sex scenes basically?

a lot of sex scenes

i mean it like half the movie is graphic sex so if ur uncomfortable with that you probably shouldn’t watch it lol

all female cast

willa from wynonna earp!

The Handmaiden

also based on a book by sarah waters (called Fingersmith, there’s a bbc adaptation of it too which you should totally check out as well)

good quality movie right there

(putting a trigger warning here for sexual and psychological abuse and abuse in general)

Kyss Mig

one of few good swedish movies

basically about two step-sisters who fall in love (they’re not actually related i promise)

But I’m a Cheerleader

baby natasha lyonne is in this one! also i have a crush on clea duvall in this movie lol

a very cute love story tbh

good aesthetic

you’ve probably heard of it before but idc cause it’s great

(it’s like a satire of conversion therapy so if that’s something you can’t watch i don’t recommend this movie for you in particular)

If These Walls Could Talk 2 

a bunch of famous actresses (like chloë sevigny, michelle williams, natasha lyonne, ellen degeneres, etc. etc.)

divided in three segments from three different periods in time

one segment is set during the feminist movement in the 70s and features chloë sevigny as a butch lesbian with a motorcycle do i even need to say more??

Anatomy of a Love Seen

this is about two actresses who were a couple when they shot a movie together and now they have to go back and re-shoot some love scenes but they’re not a couple anymore and it’s sad af

i have basically never seen this movie in any rec lists but it’s actually one of my faves and i cry so much to this movie tbh

Saving Face

this is a good one

also pretty funny tbh!

it’s about a doctor who falls in love with a dancer and the doctor’s relationship with her conservative mom

it’s kind of rom-comish

Lost and Delirious

warning: very sad like super sad?

it’s about a girl who goes to a boarding school and so happens to become roommates with a lesbian couple

teen angst squared and multiplied with gay panic

The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls In Love

you may have heard of this one but if you haven’t it’s time you watch it

that woman who plays tina on the l word is a butch-ish girl in this one

VERY CUTE and chill

every time i watch this it feels like this movie is the director’s BABY like it seems like she cares about this story so much and it makes the movie feel so genuine and lovely

i want every baby lesbian to watch this, please, it’s my gift to you.

D.E.B.S.

you may have heard of this one too but if you haven’t seen it yet it’s definitely worth a watch!

lesbian spies!

the heroine falls in love with the villain (that enemies to lovers trope tho!!)

Desert Hearts

old but good!

i feel like this movie is on most of these long rec lists but people probably don’t watch it cause it’s old but it is actually pretty good!

your classic “oops i thought i was straight but that woman is hot” story

Margarita With a Straw

indian girl figures out she’s bi when she goes to uni in new york and meets a lesbian girl

cute, funny, sad, it has everything tbh

The Hours (actually one of my all-time favorite movies/books!)

The Intervention

The Kids Are All Right

The Children’s Hour

Elena Undone