being muslim and lgbt is reallyā¦complicated, i guess? because you donāt really have thatĀ āi can come out and never speak to my family again and iāll be fineā mindset that christian lgbt people seem to have and you canāt justĀ ākeep it hidden awayāfor your familyās sake. and just pray.ā the way straight muslims will tell you do. you understand the seriousness of what calling yourself gay means, but you donāt really comprehend the vehement hatred of lgbt people and why you have to keep one of the biggest parts of your life hidden from your family. you hate yourself for being gay sometimes and other times you hate yourself because you arenāt willing toĀ abandon everything to be able to safely exist as a gay person. you want your family to understand you and accept you, but the chances of you ever coming out and actually telling them are slim to none. your non-muslim lgbt friends donāt understand your attachment to your family and faith and blame you for not coming out of the closet without understanding that you grew up in a community where itās just not that easy. it just feels like existing in a constant state of paradox where youāre constantly battling internally with yourself and also everyone around you & itās really, really lonely.Ā
