All Hail The Almighty Axolotl

Penelope: Want some pork for dinner, Darling?

Odysseus (gagging): No, Beloved. I don't think I'll ever look at a pig the same way.

Telemachus: Ooh! Dad, how about some bee-

Odysseus (terrified): No! Don't even finish that suggestion! (Whispering) He'll hear you.

(Penelope and Telemachus look at one another with concern)

Penelope: Well, we also have some fish.

Odysseus: Perfect!

(Odysseus proceeds to stab it as violently as possible)

Telemachus:...Mom, was he like this before or...?

really quick comic based on this post by @fangirling-phoenix

and she hears screams and whatnot and is like oh fuck now theyve done it, the suitors are gonna destroy the place

only to hear the screams lessen in volume and being like ? are they killing each other?

but then she hears a scream clear as day "THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE" and she's like🧍‍♀️no fuckin shot my husband is down there on a murder spree

and she immediately starts pacing back and forth like "LADIES HELP ME PREPARE I NEED TO LOOK DIVINE" and it's a full makeover sequence

and they're posing her and being like "hold on, tilt your chin up a little bit, turn to the side like 12 degrees- BOOM my lady you are serving such cunt"

until some of them go "we have to strike him in the darkness too! we know the halls of this palace! the odds can be tilted!"