queer af

Ang dami ko rin talagang pino-problema way back. Marami ring nagbago, pero parang pareho lang din in the sense na may pino-problema ka, and may anxiety din sa future mo. Ang tumama talaga (unfortunately) ay ang limited career opportunities mo sa BroadComm (media industry-wise) at kanina lang ay nagfi-fill up ka ng form sa bagong work sa call center (lol).

Ang hindi ko lang din pa grasp sa buhay 10 years ago ay when reality strikes (and slaps you so fucking hard). Consequential din talaga ang mga choices that we make, and beforehand, may nilo-look forward ka na in the future if you choose option A over option B (tulad ng pagpili ng undergrad course). We just have to make a choice for us to know what comes next, whether be it a hit or a miss.

Just before checking this blog and writing this, I felt shitty again about myself and my life choices, but going back here, it made me realize such things na nabanggit ko earlier. Ito ang buhay. Ito ang realidad. Failures are inevitable, and hindi mo rin maiiwasan na mag-negative self-talk ka at sabihing failure ka. That's very nature. Pero despite of, we still persevere. We move forward. Hindi man iyon ang gusto nating mangyari, kung sinabotahe man tayo at pinagkaitan ng pagkakataon at oportunidad as compare to others, kahit anong uri ng paggalaw ay pag-unlad na rin. It's really part of the painstaking process of learning more about ourselves and how the world works.

At the end of the day, it's not just us and our choices per se, but it's really a bigger system that tries to hinder us from living a life of peace and comfort. Iyong gusto sana nating mas mag-pursue ng creative endeavours but we have to do shitty jobs to feed mouths. Hindi naman natin talaga kasalanan na we submit on those, but we continue to struggle in pursuing the things that feeds our soul. The real deals.

Hay, quarter-life crisis, the bitch that you really are. And we continue holding onto our hopes that better days will come, because that's what we deserve. 16-year-old self, ok lang iyan. Mukhang makakabawi pa naman tayo sa mga bad decisions natin (haha) pero kebs you are a product of your own time. (lol) (ano pa bang sasabihin ko at inaantok na ko haha) Well, don't be too hard on yourself, di iyan ang hard na gusto natin! (hahahaha)

Part of my Queer Creature Collective for my MA degree show at Norwich University of the Arts. It was amazing to get to do such a major project on something so personal to me.

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[Image descriptions:

1: Black fawn among yellow carnations with gradient to purple. Banner reads: “Binary is Bullshit.”

2: Mandarin duck among grass. Green banner reads: “My pronouns aren’t inconvenient, you’re just a dick.” 

3: Grumpy hedgehog curled into a ball and glaring, wearing a tiny pink hat with a blue ribbon. Pink and blue banner reads: Gender sucks, that’s it, I quit!”

4: Purple platypus swimming through green banner. Banner reads: “respect my identity, you ass-biscuit.” 

5: Clownfish among anemones. Bubbles read: “Gender is fluid, you uninspired walnut.”

I’ve been writing and deleting and rewriting this email all weekend, and I still can’t get it right.

I know I haven’t written in a while. So, first I want to say this: I know who you are.

I know that you’re smart and careful and weird and funny.

You overthink things and remember details and you always, always say the right thing.

But I’ve been spending very little time spelling things out for you and taking chances and putting my heart on the line.

I’m not going to pretend I know how this ends, and I don’t have a freaking clue if it’s possible to fall in love over email.

But I would really like to meet you, Blue. I want to try this.

And I can’t imagine a scenario where I won’t want to kiss your face off as soon as I see you.

So, what I’m trying to say is that there’s an extremely badass carnival in the parking lot of Perimeter Mall today, and it’s apparently open until nine. For what it’s worth, I’ll be there at six thirty. And I hope I see you.

Love,

Simon.”

Last week, the United States was one of 13 countries from the United Nations Human Rights Council that voted against a measure condemning the use of the death penalty to punish LGBTQ people. Against. Really.

The resolution asks countries where the death penalty is legal not to apply it in a way that discriminates against certain groups of people, or punishes “specific forms of conduct such as apostasy, blasphemy, adultery, and consensual same-sex relations.”

The measure thankfully still passed with the votes of 27 countries. The nations that voted not to pass it were Botswana, Burundi, Egypt, Ethiopia, Bangladesh, China, India, Iraq, Japan, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, and the United States.

LGBTQ and human rights advocates condemned the U.S. for voting against the resolution. A statement from the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) called U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley and the Trump administration’s failure to champion the resolution “beyond disgraceful”:

Ambassador Haley has failed the LGBTQ community by not standing up against the barbaric use of the death penalty to punish individuals in same-sex relationships,” said Ty Cobb, director of HRC Global. “While the U.N. Human Rights Council took this crucially important step, the Trump/Pence administration failed to show leadership on the world stage by not championing this critical measure. This administration’s blatant disregard for human rights and LGBTQ lives around the world is beyond disgraceful.”

Responding to such criticisms, U.S. State Department spokesperson Heather Nauert said during a 3 October press briefing that the much of the reporting on the United States’ position on the resolution had been misleading, and that despite appearances the U.S. “unequivocally condemns” the application of the death penalty to homosexuality, adultery, and religious offenses:

As our representative to the Human Rights Council said last Friday, the United States is disappointed to have voted against that resolution. We voted against that resolution because of broader concerns with the resolution’s approach in condemning the death penalty in all circumstances, and it called for the abolition of the death penalty altogether. We had hoped for a balanced and inclusive resolution that would better reflect the positions of states that continue to apply the death penalty lawfully, as the United States does. The United States unequivocally condemns the application of the death penalty for conduct such as homosexuality, blasphemy, adultery, and apostasy. We do not consider such conduct appropriate for criminalization.

October is LGBTQ History Month.

Because of generations of activists who came before us, we have made incredible strides toward justice.

Because of unconscionable hate in the White House and beyond, we have so much farther to go.