ilya's pussy

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

does anyone like me and want to understand me

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

There's always a moment of intense cultural whiplash whenever I realize I'm talking to someone who thinks "legal" and "illegal" are meaningful categories and ascribes innate goodness to following the law. It's like meeting a space alien.

you guys do realise walking doesn't actually move you anywhere right? it just destroys you entirely and places a perfect copy of you right in front of where you were standing

I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"

#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

the problem with having a The Character that sucks ass is that you can’t even turn to them in times of need. god forbid i find myself asking what The Character would do in my situation because the answer would probably be catastrophically harmful for my everything. can’t rely on them for shit. absolutely abysmal emotional support

you can’t believe what you think about yourself after sundown and you can’t believe what you think about yourself on your period and you can’t believe what you think about yourself when you’re hungry and you can’t believe what you think about yourself when you’re tired, the only time you can believe what you think about yourself is the split second after you’ve made someone laugh but only if it’s something other than “i should be a standup comedian”

the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable

google used to know what i was talking about

Do yall remember how crazy it was to watch HR episode 2 and have the sex fade out to more sex. I didn’t know we knew how to do that.