Scorpio baby

aziraphale: *enters*

gabriel, smiling: hey, your spouse went to get coffee

aziraphale, nods: right. okay

aziraphale: ...

aziraphale, realises: what? crowley isn't my spouse

gabriel, chuckles: yeah, they are

aziraphale, insistent: no!

gabriel, matter-of-fact: well, you knew who I was talking about so *shrugs*

aziraphale, panicking: that- I don't- it's irrelevant

gabriel, mutters: you're irrelevant

aziraphale, folds his arms: for your information, crowley and I are above such basic human social conventions. what we have means so much more than that

gabriel, sighs wistfully: must be nice having a spouse

aziraphale, huffs: *walks off haughtily*

gabriel: :D

-later-

crowley, returning with coffee: angel?

gabriel, appears from behind a bookcase, continues dusting: your husband's in the back

LOVE

I really like dami’s hand in the last panel it’s just *chef’s kiss*

Batman: [watches as Wonder Woman gets taken down. Superman, Flash and the rest are already incapacited]

Batman: this isn’t working.

Batman: there’s no helping it. I have to use the last resort.

Superman: [covered in alien goo] last resort?

Batman: [locks eyes with Green Arrow and nods, then marches up to the Alien boss]

Ok but now all I can think about is the kids showing up and instead of actually fighting they just “go Karen” as well, so now there’s like seven belligerent people huffing about being late and “People! Honestly!”.

And then my mind went into a complete spin where the batkids keep pulling this stunt on everyone. Nightwing shows up when Batman has been kidnapped by Scarecrow; “he’s STILL here?? he should have been home hours ago! Who is your SUPERVISOR?”

Robin finds Batman battling Black Mask and tells Black Mask that “this is frankly appalling! You can be sure that your head office will hear about this!!” And Black mask is all ?? head office?? who?? Is he talking about Lex Luthor? Why would Luthor care that I’m doing this?? Shit does he care?

Signal showing up to a Penguin monologue in progress and just tuts and taps his foot impatiently and asks him if he’s “DONE soon? I haven’t got all day”

Red Robin barging in on a fight with Mr Freeze proclaiming that “The staff was rude and I swear the place was freezing (!!!!!) One star and I urge any potential customers to reconsider!”

Red Hood telling Harley Quinn that he’s going to “have a word with your EMPLOYER! I’ll have you FIRED for this!” and Harley gets genuinely concerned and starts pleading with him to please not tell her boss even though she doesn’t have a boss.

One of Ivy’s vines sends Batgirl flying and she yells “IS THIS ANY WAY TO TREAT A HARD-WORKING GOD-FEARING AM ERIC A N??”

Cass coming to the rescue when Batman’s been beaten by the Joker, staring him straight in his damn clown eyes and signing “expect a lawsuit”

Ra’s calling the cave to tell them that he’s kidnapped Batman and he has demands and Oracle just huffs “Well, I NEVER”

“No, Lois, it’s not bad English. It’s a descriptive grammar theory and it serves a linguistic function.”

“C'mon, Smallville, are you really defending your use of ain’t?”

Or using ‘ain’t’ once around Bruce and Bruce just slowly goes rigid and stares at him.

“Did you just say ‘ain’t’?”

“Umm… yes?”

“You’re a writer!”

“Yeah, Bruce, and I’m also a farm boy from Kansas. It’s a legitimate word. Just because I don’t write with it doesn’t mean I don’t say it!”

The rest of the Justice League is screaming things from the sidelines, cheering for J’onn. Bruce is keeping his immaculate poker face, while casually eating some low-fat popcorn on the side.

“Y'AIN’T,” screams out a son of Kansas, a proud shining glint in his intensely blue eyes, as he slams J’onn’s arm down into and through the table.