IN YOUR ROOM

Okay, but speaking of my idea for a Spy fanfic based on White Collar wherein Susan Cooper is the Peter Burke to Rayna Boyanov’s Neil Caffrey:

There needs to be a scene where Rayna rescues Susan with her hair.

Not on purpose.

Like Susan grabs on to it to keep from falling off a building. Rayna complains the whole time. “I CANNOT BELIEVE I LEFT PRISON FOR THIS.”

Susan meanwhile is just like, “What is your hair even made of? How is it not breaking? This is like beyond Pantene commercial level tensile strength are you Spiderwoman? Is this your superpowered webbing? Are you the hatechild of Samson and Delilah? Because that would explain a lot.”

“Samson didn’t have strong hair you imbecile – his hair made the rest of him strong.”

“Oh excuse me Miss Expert does your magic hair tell you magic hair trivia?”

“You can let go and fall to your death any time now.”

“It smells like my conditioner. Have you been using my conditioner?”

“Of course not.”

“Don’t use my toiletries. I think that guy in R&D swapped some of them out when I wasn’t looking.”

“I haven’t been using your toiletries.”

“I’m just saying you could get chemical burns or accidentally dose yourself with truth serum or something.”

“WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING YOU SHOULD HAVE CLIMBED BACK UP BY NOW IF YOU WEREN’T WASTING ENERGY WITH THESE RIDICULOUS ACCUSATIONS. As if I would ever touch anything in your disgusting little travel bag.”

“My earrings were in that bag and I can see them in your ears right now.”