My personal brand of humor is "horrible, useless advice delivered in an authoritative way" and this is the result of it
almost home

JVL
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Kiana Khansmith
trying on a metaphor

pixel skylines
Mike Driver
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me


izzy's playlists!
occasionally subtle

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YOU ARE THE REASON

çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Sade Olutola
Stranger Things
Peter Solarz

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@queen-raye
My personal brand of humor is "horrible, useless advice delivered in an authoritative way" and this is the result of it

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This post is ancient and stupid but I still laugh whenever I see it
God I love my new windows.
you shouldve installed linux instead. yes on your house
I'm not bringing a penguin here in summer. We're still in total fire ban type weather.
even a little penguin? they're native there.
Not to my house they aren't
truly my LEAST favorite form of advertisement these days is the faux-tiktoker/influencer who is here to Sell Me Something. the âomg unbox my Pureology (TM) skincare haul!!!â âdoing the #NespressoChallenge!!!â âyou guys will not BELIEVE what i got from shein-â like its scary. its WEIRD. not only do i have no idea who these perfectly manicured, babytalking people are they feel less like real people than even an actual advertiser does. stop trying to make me believe you are my friend. you are something inhuman to me. you are a changeling. you are a brand wearing ill fitting human skin and i see its skeletal shape shift beneath the surface.
This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:
If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.
This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace
everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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well the thing is that's an extremely reasonable concern
Canât wait to not sleep at all on September 11th
i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny
why đ itâs about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????
THERE'S TWENTY ONE THIS TIME???
reblog if youâre a sick fuck
My new favorite genre of picture is a very special thing that most animals (and humans!) do: face nuzzling as an act of greeting/comfort/intimacy. thank God that this is happening all over the world right now
Isnât it wonderful?!
had to continue the compilation:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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THAT SURE WAS A FUCKING RIDE HUH
And stay safe everyone!
finished my first semester oufh god finally blorbo time
sometimes your favorite fanfic isn't a fanfic at all but the insane DM's between you and your equally freaky mutual
i think this isâŚactually the most extreme stupid dove nest Iâve seen.
video
Imagine you're coming home after a long day of hunting, and the first thing you hear is your seven shitty kids screeching at you for no reason, how pissed off would you be, I'd immediately fly away too
Imagine you're the oldest of seven and a fucking HOA member broke into your HOUSE and SHIT AN EGG and is BITING at your siblings, but your dad shows so you try to tell him the problem but you're very little and you don't speak English and he doesn't speak English either so you can't communicate that a fucking GOBLIN is in your HOUSE and the only reason he doesn't know is cause his ASS was on that bitch's HEAD and he must've assumed it was one of your brothers and sisters but it was actually that FREAK WOMAN who got in, and now your dad is flying away 'cause he has no idea what's going on
Imagine you're a parent and you've calmed down and gone to get McDonald's for your seven kids, and you come home expecting to get cheers because you know the D's are always a winner, but when you fly back in through the door the kids are all still screaming, and it's not even excited screams but you don't know what's wrong so you just look into the camera like you're Jim from the Office
Imagine you're one of the small middle children and probably the one that this HOA WITCH was BITING after she broke into YOUR HOUSE and SHIT an EGG and you tried to be a good host by cuddling with her to congratulate her on her egg but then she started BITING and taking over your ROOM and threw out all your GOOSEBUMPS books and your eldest sibling couldn't call dad so you all just had to wait, and then dad comes home but your STUPID FAMILY won't stop SCREECHING to explain what's going on so your dad leaves but then comes back and he's brought McDonald's which is like yay but there is an INTRUDER, and finally your dad looks around the house and notices BITCH BIRD KAREN IN YOUR BEAN BAG CHAIR, and you're like ok dad can handle this but then you learn he's more scared than you?????
Imagine you're a dad and you just got home with McDonald's and WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN MY HOUSE but luckily you have seven children and the mean one is willing to fight this bitch and you're just gonna chill in this corner until this problem is resolved even if your other kids are straight-up judging you
Imagine you're Kevin McCallister and you're doing Home Alone except you're not home alone 'cause your dad is home too but he's not helping, he's just holding a bag of McDonald's, so you have to be the head of this house at eight years old 'cause you're home alone emotionally but this FREAK ON AN EGG isn't leaving so you decide to screech at your dad and he's more scared of you than she is
Imagine you're a dad and your child has publicly shamed you in front of your other kids and this ASSHOLE KAREN and you decide you're not gonna take this shit anymore so you tell your kids that you paid for this McDonald's with your hard-earned bird money and they're gonna damn well eat this, so everybody stop looking at that side of the house and just eat your fucking french fries but then that fucking MONSTER starts BITING your only child willing to go into battle so you recognize this is a lost cause and throw the burgers on the counter and you remember you're an ADULT so you grab your car keys and fly the fuck away
Imagine you're all seven children and dad left you with the pigeon again

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
This is what posting your artwork after a mutual posts a big life update feels like
Brian McFadden: Is Google Cooked? (via Daily Kos)