Aks

What do you think the moon represents if not love?

Loneliness.

Is that what you feel? Lonely?

Maybe.

You have a lot of friends and a supportive family.

I said lonely, not alone.

What’s the difference?

And, I’m insane.

Other than one being physical and the other being emotional state.

Why do you think you are alone or lonely?

What am I doing right now?

Soliloquy.

An act of talking to oneself. Why?

Because you’re lonely.

And?

And, you’re insane.

-Aks.

It is not my favorite per se, but I like this one most because of the music I was listening to while writing it.

In another life,

I would have sold my soul,

For that one glance,

Why? Which love will cause your insanity?

All kinds.

Because you love too much? Or too little?

I don’t know.

What about other feelings?

What about it?

Do you feel a lot or little?

I don’t know.

Point it out to me.

No.

You sound confused.

Maybe I am.

Maybe you are not.

Maybe.

What are you feeling right now?

Nothing.

What were you feeling yesterday?

Everything.

Why do people believe the moon causes madness?

Science.

Do you believe it?

I believe everything.

I think most poets were lunatics.

Why?

Do you know where the word lunatic comes from?

No.

From a Latin word, Lunaticus, which means madness caused by the moon.

And?

Most of them seemed to have an unhealthy attachment to it, and maybe that is why it is also a symbol of love, it drives people mad.

Do you think so?

I know so.

What kind of love drives people mad?

All kinds described by Greeks:

Eros, Philia, Ludus, Storge, Philautia, Pragma, Agápe.

I think too much love harms.

Too little does too.

How do you know so much about it?

About what?

Insane poets.

Take one to know one.

Do you think you are insane?

Is this the yearning the poets talk about? To yearn is to listen to the echo of lost time. To yearn is to hold on to forgotten memories. To yearn is to ache for the missed opportunities. How do I seize lost time? How do I grasp memories that are not there anymore? How do I retrieve something that has gone missing ages ago? Is this the yearning the poets talk about? Is this the yearning musicians sing about? Is this the yearning artists paint about?

But what do I do? I am neither a poet nor a musician nor an artist. So, I will write, as someone who yearns.

(Voices start to echo. Loud. Overlapping. confusing.)

"Why is she making such a fuss? It was only one slap?"

"Keep in mind, no matter what happens, make it work. Your home is with your husband now."

"Do you think I don't know how she's getting all those promotions?"

"...too independent."

"...selfish"

This scene is called "A paradox that is a woman."

Was excited, now more scared.

In midst of a nightmare, I could hear a war cry

In midst of a nightmare, I could see crimson red

in midst of a nightmare, I could smell the flower of underworld

in midst of a nightmare, I could taste fire

in midst of a nightmare, I touched something—someone—cold

in midst of a nightmare, I found myself alone.

Was it the angel of death haunting my dreams? so, tell me what haunts one's dreams?

-Aks

In another life, I would have been a pianist, Soothing sorrow with melodies, Busking in the glory of grief,

In another life, I would have been a writer, Under the sun, Writing about shadows of grief,