wheeeeewww shit 😩
The Bowery Presents
todays bird
Cosimo Galluzzi

Jimmy Eat World
Sade Olutola

Product Placement

Love Begins

roma★
hello vonnie

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
untitled

Kiana Khansmith
𓃗

ellievsbear
The Bright Sessions
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
One Nice Bug Per Day
d e v o n

blake kathryn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
seen from Brazil

seen from Türkiye

seen from Pakistan

seen from Bangladesh
seen from Netherlands

seen from United States
seen from India
seen from Ecuador

seen from Ukraine
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Bangladesh

seen from France

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Italy

seen from Singapore

seen from Argentina
@pytarchivess
wheeeeewww shit 😩

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What’s Mikey saying in your ear? 🎧ྀི
If you’re tagged, share what 3 songs of Michael’s you have on repeat right now! .⊹₊
I feel like this changes on the dailyyyy for me, but I’ve been listening to the Invincible album non-stop so right now it’s these 3:
Whatever Happens ♡
Heartbreaker 𖦹°
2000 Watts (﹙˓ 🎧 ˒﹚)
Your turn lovelies ♡ @curlypytclubx @brownsugarletters @mikeysfavoritefish @urbanfunkchild @mjsbrat @amnesia-sc @humnnatur
thank you for the tag, love <33
also, loveee these top 3 for you! especially heartbreaker. 🤍 and I agree, when it comes to MJ songs— it is always changing.
my top 3 repeats right now:
1. Rock with You
2. I Can’t Help It
3. Heaven Can Wait (this song is a drug to me, I can’t get enough of it)
honorable mention: The Life Of The Party (technically a Jackson 5 song, but it counts loll)
your turn moonwalkers: @belhead @amazegumballz @cvntclip @y2k-angel @heyitsnattie @mjsapple @curlz4mygirls @izzyy8 @saraocly
Thanks for tagging me!! My fav songs change so much!
My top 3 right now
Can't Let Her Get Away
Liberian Girl
Someone Put Your Hand Out
your turn: @thebrownsugababe @belhead @pvtypyt @itsmagicrae @fruitbeg @mjsbrat
I just tagged some of my mutuals! hi!
thanks for the tag baby!
my top 3 repeats currently are
p.y.t (pretty young thing!)
Who’s lovin you
Heaven can wait
your turn: @oidloid @savagenctzen @ebvnydesires @plan3tch1ld @cinnamoncunt @dirtydianadiary @ryuoniii
honorable mention omg: earth song omg I love when he sings it live 😩
ahh! thank you for the tag love! 🤍
my top 3 repeats right now are
1. Someone in the dark
2. All i do think is of you
3. Break of dawn
your turn: @spreadingtheseed @freakinme @ladybloodthorne @michaeljpeg
Thanks for tagging me love!!
my top 3 repeats right now are
1. Break of Dawn
2. Lady in my Life
3. Speed Demon
Your turn: @brownsugarletters @appleheadchick @curlypytclubx @callmeoncette
thank you for the tags, babiesss! you know who you are!!!
my top three that are on repeat right now are:
Get Your Weight Off Me
Can’t Let Her Get Away
Got The Hots (literally am listening to it right now as i type this up!)
tagging: @motormouthmj @pytapplehead @bvtterfliess @fangirllexiee @loves2tour @mjstinkerbell
Aww thx for the tagggg 💕
My top 3 on repeat rn are:
1. Stranger In Moscow
2. In The Closet
3. Dreamer (if that counts) , if not, Girlfriend <3
Your turn!! @pytarchivess @miratate @ttangerinexo @appleariela
thank you for the tag ♡
my top three at the moment :
↓
1 | One Day In Your Life
2 | Cinderella Stay Awhile
3 | Give In to Me
🏷️’s : @humnnatur @printer-reads-505 @love4niy @jermissing
your turn! ⊹܀˙
I feel like I’ve read every mj fic under the sun man why is everyone disappearing 😩
waking up to fic update notifications>>>
email me

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i love how when mj is mentioned or his music comes up my friends and family turn to stare at me because they know i’m obsessed with him
I’ll Be There
Word count: 2.1k
*Ik not all pics are thriller era they’re for vibe setting*
Parings: Thriller! Michael x bsf! Reader
Synopsis: You had gone over to the Hayvenhurst home with plans to hang out with Michael and get into your usual antics until you see how upset he is about something. The two of you get into a deep conversation about emotional things and you act as a comfort and are clearly very close for just being friends…
Warning/content: Angst w/ fluff at the very end (gotta end on a high note!), No use of y/n, mentions of the Pepsi commercial (all event of the take place before that commercial), mentions of J*seph, mild descriptions of abuse, discussion of deep loneliness(from Michael), kissing.
a/n: All uses of “sometime” are intentional. I had to make it longer and therefore sadder so the ending would have a bigger payoff, sorryyyy. I don’t actually know the exact month Joseph told Michael he’d be doing the Pepsi commercial this was just a wild guess, but the exact date wasn’t relevant to this fic.
*This fic is influenced by my personal opinions of Joseph and real things Michael had said about him. If you like him or support how he treated his children plz dni this is not the fic for you. *This is not me endorsing ppl being disrespectful to the Jackson’s abt Joseph bc at the end of the day his children forgave him ever if we don’t agree with such decisions.*
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
OMG theme !
hi honey 🥹 so good to hear from you!
and yes yes yes! new themeeee
i got tired of my old one so easily lol
hope youre doing well ˚⊹ ♡

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i think about michael at least 100 times a day..
i mourn him daily like a widow.. please say it’s not just me
probably more
any man that promises you something is probably lying to your face
⌞The Distance 𐀪 Between 𐀪 Letters⌝
✎ᝰ.Pt. 3
ᯓ ✈︎
ᯓ Content: Michael x fem!humanitarian worker!reader, established relationship, fiancé!Michael, Lebanese Civil War setting (and Afghanistan), situational angst, hurt/comfort, FLUFF!! FLUFFY ASH AND WILL ONLY GET FLUFFIER!!, separation, mutual devotion, protective Michael, war and displacement, mentions of death and injury, blood, emotional distress, flashbacks, eventual SMUT, eventual sickfic, eventual happy ending, NO MENTION OF Y/N
ᯓ Summary: You’re a humanitarian communications delegate for the International Committee of the Red Cross, working on the front lines of international conflicts. After Michael’s visit, reality settles into a vicious circumstance, leaving him regretful of his choice to listen to you.
A/n: Sorry, this is lowkey emotional and pretty short for a storyline. It might not be everyone’s fav, but the next part is going to be redeeming I PROMISE‼️‼️ Also, I'm planning on including a tinge of well-deserved smut in the next chapter, but if enough people are opposed (which I doubt because tumblr is freaky ash 😭), I’ll cut it out.
W/c: 2.7k
Pt.1
Pt.2
Masterlist
Tags: @memyselfandmikey @amazegumballz @mino99jksn @nimblejuggernauthorizon @iheartpizzamyheart @sssshahadddd @slavetotherhythmofluv @crystallineforestslayer
His thumb continues to draw the rag in circles over your knuckles.
He looks at your soft, pretty hands and remembers a time they trembled for a completely different reason.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
The UNICEF gala ended less than an hour ago, but music still drifted faintly, and the sounds of clicking glasses were still audible.
Streetlights stretched for miles like constellations someone had spilled onto the ground.
Michael found you between a set of stairs and a cobblestone wall.
“There you are.”
He smoothed the creases on his jacket with every step towards you.
“Here I am.”
You both exchanged faint smiles.
“I feel like I'm always playing ‘Where's Waldo’ with you, girl— you don't ever just sit in one spot.”
You chuckle softly.
“Maybe it'd be a bit easier for you if I wore those stupid glasses and red stripes.”
He sat beside you— close enough you could've sworn your elbows touched.
“You could pull it off.”
After a few mild giggles, you two don’t say much else.
It was strange. You had spent months writing letters after Afghanistan— long ones at that— the kind that wandered through childhood stories, recipes, dreams, and places you’d someday visit together.
It was as if you knew each other’s handwriting better than each other’s voice.
“You look beautiful tonight.”
Your cheeks warmed, with your flush drawing attention to the maroon eyeshadow you wore.
“You’ve seen me in worse get-ups,” you motioned toward the gown you wore, which you felt was ‘too much’.
Michael, however, adored the way it hugged your hips and the way it accentuated your eyes with its color.
“I don’t mind any ‘get-up’”.
You smiled despite your rolling eyes.
“Smooth one.”
“Thanks, I’ve been practicing.”
“Practice harder.”
The breeze stirred the loose strands framing your face. Without a second thought , he tucked one behind your ear.
His hand lingered.
“I missed you.”
You looked at him.
“I missed you too.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think-”
He stopped himself.
“Hm?”
He smiled awkwardly at the pavement.
“I don’t think friends miss each other the way I miss you.”
The sentence settled gently between you, then settled warmly within your chest.
You could feel his adorable little heart patter from behind you. You didn’t answer for a moment, trying to come up with the right things to say, but you couldn’t form anything more complex than a ‘same’.
“You read my mind, actually.”
“Really?”
“Mhm.”
You sighed.
“So…what now?”
“So maybe,” he paused to fidget with the hem of his jacket, “can I kiss you?”
The question being asked out loud surprised you more than the kiss would’ve, not quite because he asked, but because he waited— entirely content with whatever answer you gave.
“You could’ve asked me months ago, and I’d have the same answer.” You gave a lopsided smile.
“Which is?”
You didn’t respond, but he knew the answer anyway.
You held his hand and leaned in— just enough for him to shyly cup your cheek.
You initiated it, but he completed it.
He was hesitant out of care.
It was barely anything more than just your lips meeting, yet somehow it was beyond redeeming.
It was warm and patient—a thing so wholesome that it felt like you had learned the entire world of the other person in just a few seconds.
You had felt his grin against your lips before you opened your eyes.
“Well?” You asked through your teeth.
“Well, I think that was worth the wait.”
Your soft laughs settled until you could only hear crickets and the clicking of your lips to form a smile.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
The memory dissolves as quickly as it arrived.
You’re in Lebanon, between canvas walls that shielded you from rubble and debris of generations of memories.
You’re in Michael’s embrace, with his chin resting over your temple and an arm over your abdomen.
The only motion comes from his thumb that strokes whatever it can of you.
“Angel,” he whispers above your head in case you were asleep.
“Hm?” You buzz below him.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Your breathing catches.
“What?”
His eyes remain fixed somewhere beyond the tent.
“I can’t keep pretending this is okay.”
Your heart sinks to your stomach.
You stare at him.
“You’re breaking up with me?”
That catches him so off guard that his head snaps down at you.
“What? No—.”
“You said—.”
“God no. Never.”
Relief washes over you as your shoulders relax back into him.
“I mean this—the waiting—the not knowing if you’ll make it back safe.”
His voice cracks as his eyelids act as dams, working overtime to keep tears contained.
“Nobody should live like this.”
A tear breaks loose.
You roll to face him, wiping the tear from under his eye.
“I know why you’re here— I know these people need someone. But every time you leave camp—”
He swallows hard.
“—-I wonder if that’s the last time I’ll ever see you.”
You face his chest because you can’t dare look him in the eyes to see how much you’ve hurt him.
“You should be writing about beautiful places.”
His voice becomes barely louder than a whisper.
“You should be showing people how wonderful this world is.”
He strums the bangs over your forehead.
“Not famines. Not disasters. And certainly, not war.”
Your fingers line the stitches on his neckline, focusing your blank gaze there while he searches for any reaction in your face.
“There is beauty during famines, disasters, and wars, though.”
You draw a strained breath.
“These are beautiful people with beautiful spirits. Someone needs to remind the world just that.”
You pause.
“But—“
You close your eyes while a slow breath escapes you.
“—you’re right.”
His eyebrows lift.
“Yeah?”
You nod once.
“It isn’t safe here.”
Another nod.
“That’s exactly what I wanted to tell you.”
“What do you mean?”
Your fingers find his.
“Go home.”
“No.”
“You have to. ”
“I’m not leaving you.”
Your composure finally cracks.
“If, god forbid, anything happened to you because of me—”
The tears came all at once.
“I’d never forgive myself.”
He shakes his head surely.
“I’m not leaving.”
“Michael.”
“No, baby.”
You grab both sides of his face.
“I’m begging you.”
Your voice breaks completely.
“Please.”
“I can do my job worrying about these people.”
Your voice is so unstable you have to resort to only whispers at this point.
“But I can’t worry about you too.”
He searches your face for what felt like forever, looking for any reason to argue. He found none.
“Only if you promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“This is the last frontline deployment.”
You hesitate—only for a second.
Then nod.
“I promise.”
He closes his eyes, knowing promises made in war are fragile things. Still, he chooses to believe you.
He kisses your forehead, then holds you until neither of you remembers who had started crying first.
The helicopter carries him further from you with every spin of its propeller.
He watches you stand in your place until you fade to a mere silhouette, then into a speck.
Michael sits against the cold window with one elbow resting on the frame, watching Lebanon slowly flatten beneath the clouds.
Villages that looked alive from the ground shrink into tiny patches of pale stone scattered between olive groves and mountains.
Smoke climbs lazily into the sky in thin gray ribbons, almost beautiful from this distance.
That’s just the cruelest thing about war— it seems so quiet from a distance.
It’s exactly the reason you dedicate your life to giving the otherwise quiet a voice.
His stomach aches at the thought of abandoning you, trying hard to remind himself that he left for the better— at least now this would be your last dangerous journey.
He wonders if you are already carrying another box somewhere.
If you’ll remember to eat.
If you are still wearing the sweater he’d wrapped around your shoulders before sunrise.
He can still feel your goodbye kiss.
It hasn’t even been twenty minutes.
He already misses you.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
Neverland welcomes him exactly the way he left it— but that was the issue.
Your clothes still hang in areas they didn’t belong, a novel you never got around to finishing is still face down on the coffee table, and your travel-sized perfume remains at his vanity.
He is lost—wandering through his home feeling incomplete and experiencing an unfathomable dread that only those who know you can comprehend.
One afternoon, he catches himself calling your name because he’d heard a laugh outside.
It wasn’t yours.
He stops in the hallway, smiling mournfully at himself before continuing.
The silence and fear are overwhelming enough to drive a man to the brink of insanity.
Work helps fill some bit of the void, not because he enjoys it more than usual, but because exhaustion leaves less room for imagination.
He throws himself into rehearsals and meetings with an intensity that worries everyone around him.
Whenever someone asks if he needs a break, he simply smiles and says he’s fine.
He knows damn well he isn't.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
Your first letter arrives nearly two weeks later.
He recognizes your handwriting before the envelope even fully leaves the mailbox.
He doesn’t even wait to go inside.
Standing beneath the morning sun with one finger tucked beneath the flap, he unfolds the pages carefully enough to preserve every crease.
The first paragraph is about an older baker who made you and the volunteers fresh bread by hand. She said it was because going into a war zone is much easier on an empty stomach. You laughed and said she was right.
In the second paragraph, you spoke of a nine-year-old boy who, after “playing doctor,” actually saved his father’s life. His meticulous work with gauze and the sanitation of the wound genuinely astounded the entire camp.
Still no mention of yourself.
Only at the very bottom.
“I’m doing well.
Sleeping whenever and wherever they let me, but at least I’m sleeping.
Don’t worry too much- I know you do that.
I miss you more than you’ll ever know.
Love you with all my heart.”
He smiles as his thumb traces over the words etched in the loose leaf.
The letters eventually become a part of his routine. Every week, another spawns in his mailbox.
Sometimes you leave photos inside— sometimes souvenirs.
One time, you hid a pressed Jasmine, leaving just the faintest stain on the letter.
Another— you sent a drawing that a child drew of you. You adored it and asked him to keep it safe for you for when you get back.
He keeps every letter— revisiting them on days he doesn’t receive a new one.
He begins recognizing your moods by your handwriting alone.
Your most excited and happiest moments were characterized by your sloppiest handwriting.
Conversely, your small, neatly packed font indicated fear, while messy, small handwriting suggested upset.
When they drifted off the blue lines, he knew you hadn’t gotten any sleep.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
Three months pass— then it goes silent from your end.
No letters, no photographs, no sketches— nothing.
The first week doesn’t frighten him too much. Sometimes things happen with mail— roads closing could’ve been a reason— or convoys rerouting. You’ve warned him about it in the past.
The second week settles heavier. He calls the organization first thing every morning.
“Any updates?”
“No, not yet.”
“Team’s still out?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Has anyone heard from her?”
“No, but we’re still trying.”
Every answer is the same, but the tone grows increasingly frustrated from both ends over time.
He begins visiting a small newspaper stand across town that carries international publications hardly anyone else bought.
He searches every issue for villages he recognized from your letters, tracing unfamiliar names with his finger as though somehow he’ll find yours hidden between them.
He never does.
Sleep abandons him again.
Some nights he sits awake with your latest letter folded between his hands until dawn paints the windows blue.
Other nights he prays. He prays you’ll be in his arms alive soon enough.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
A package arrives on a Wednesday—your camera- with the lens still dusty from the number of times your clumsy hands have dropped it into the dirt.
He turns it carefully before setting it on the dining room table.
Curiosity gets the best of him, replaying the pictures you captured.
For a war zone, he’s never seen so many happy faces.
He smiles to himself with every click through each photo.
In one, children ran in circles after you made them a makeshift soccer ball with a glove and rice.
Another picture depicts an elderly woman teaching you how to prepare Mujaddara, a lentil and onion dish. Her hand rested over your shoulder, as if she were a trusted relative, while both of you cheesed authentically at each other.
His eyes soften at your smile. God, how he misses that smile—the one that made your eyes crinkle and lit up any room with your radiant smile.
Two days later, more belongings arrive.
A short stack of your notebooks smells faintly of stale paper and smoke.
He holds them to his nose briefly before sliding a box cutter through the other package.
He sets the package aside and flips through the pages.
He reads only the notes you specifically marked for him in the margins.
One page has a little star beside a paragraph about a girl who refused to eat her lunch because her older brother had been given a bigger piece of bread.
“Michael would’ve known exactly what to do with this one. She crossed her arms and wouldn’t speak to anybody for twenty minutes.
I tried everything.
Eventually, I gave her half of mine, which I’m pretty sure means she won.”
Underneath, squeezed between two lines:
“You would’ve made that stupid puppet voice and had her eating in five minutes. Miss you.”
He smiles, running his thumb over the tiny star.
The rest remained yours.
His smile fades as soon as he remembers nothing is funny because you’re still not home.
The other package— your journal.
He smiles despite himself after finding a folded recipe tucked inside.
“Tell Michael not to burn this one.”
That was too funny not to laugh at.
The house feels a little less empty for a moment.
His joy fades as quickly as it came.
Why are these being sent home?
By now, he’s called the organization twice asking why your belongings are being sent home without you.
Both times, they tell him the same thing— the field office was evacuated, personal items are being returned, and they still have no information on your team.
The last package arrives just the day after.
It’s small, light— suspiciously light.
His heartbeat slows before he opens it.
Inside is the braided bracelet he’d made for you years earlier during your time in Ethiopia.
His hands tremble as it rests curled within his palms. It’s embarrassingly homemade, crooked with a few wooden beads trying so hard (but failing) to embellish itself.
Despite how humorously awful it looked, it had a charm only you saw.
You never took it off—not for Ethiopia, not for Afghanistan, nowhere.
Until now?
His smile disappears.
“No—“
He inspects the source, the box, for any clues that might explain why it’s not around your wrist.
Nothing.
His knees meet the floor before he realizes they had given out.
The bracelet trembles between his fingers.
Your camera.
Your notebooks.
Your journal.
Now this?
The room becomes impossibly silent.
His own heartbeat pounds behind his ears, with a growing pit in his stomach that urges him to vomit.
He presses the bracelet against his lips.
“No. It couldn’t be—“ he comforts himself, knowing not even the tears in his eyes believe it.
The telephone rings.
He doesn’t move.
The wind was just taken from his lungs. How could he move?
Somewhere beyond the blur gathering in his vision, footsteps hurry toward him.
“Sir?”
A housekeeper stands frozen in the doorway.
“It’s the hospital.”
His head lifts immediately.
The bracelet remains clenched tightly in his fist.
“She said its urgent.”
Without recalling how he managed to reach the phone when his legs became so useless, he forces his eyes shut and holds the telephone with a desperate grip, yearning for the end of whatever news he may receive.
He holds his breath, drawing the receiver to his face.
⌞The Distance 𐀪 Between 𐀪 Letters⌝
✎ᝰ.Pt. 2
ᯓ ✈︎
ᯓ Content: Michael x fem!humanitarian worker!reader, established relationship, fiancé!Michael, Lebanese Civil War setting (and Afghanistan and, very briefly, Ethiopia), situational angst, hurt/comfort, FLUFF!! FLUFFY ASH AND WILL ONLY GET FLUFFIER!!, separation, mutual devotion, protective Michael, war and displacement, mentions of death and injury, blood, emotional distress, flashbacks, eventual happy ending, NO MENTION OF Y/N
ᯓ Summary: You’re a humanitarian communications delegate for the International Committee of the Red Cross, working on the front lines of international conflicts. Michael follows you into war-torn campsites, bringing back memories of when you first met and reminding him exactly why he fell in love with you.
A/n: Hello again! I did my best researching the Dari dialogue, but if there are any issues, feel free to correct me. Also, this part will be as graphic as it gets for this story (mentions of blood, but no gorey details), if you cannot stomach it, again, DNI!!!
W/c: 3.1k
Tags: @memyselfandmikey @amazegumballz @mino99jksn @nimblejuggernauthorizon @iheartpizzamyheart @sssshahadddd @slavetotherhythmofluv @crystallineforestslayer
The back of the truck is a rustic arrangement of wooden planks, barely held together by nails—no seats, and certainly no comfort—just a bed full of aid workers, backpacks, medical crates, and enough canned food to last a few days if everyone rations carefully.
Every pothole launches everyone up and off their feet, just until gravity reminds them that it exists.
A volunteer who lands over a sack of flour lightens the mood with some harmless sarcasm, “I don’t think I’ve ever been in a ride this nice.”
Another giggles, “Drives so smooth it feels like I’m flying.”
The entire truck erupts in chuckles despite the situation. Even you can't help but flash some teeth.
A smile tugs at Michael’s lips in response to your own.
He slips off his blanket and lays it beside his legs.
“Angel.”
He pats his lap.
“C’mere.”
You hesitate, “No, love, it’s cold. Keep it on you.”
The corners of your mouth can’t help but raise at how adorable he looks.
“Besides, I’ll crush your legs.”
“My legs’ll be fine.”
He brushes hair off your face.
“In fact, they'd be delighted.”
“They’ve done so much work already.”
You inch near him, slowly falling victim to his charm.
“They’ve seen worse days.”
You huff out amused air and surrender, placing your head on his slender legs and spreading the rest of yourself out on his jacket.
He immediately brushes loose strands of hair away from your face. At this point, the movement had become instinct.
The convoy continues south, passing by villages that resemble ghost towns.
Occasionally, you spot a lantern serving as the sole visible sign of life in the otherwise abandoned buildings.
The landscape consists mainly of empty dirt roads, distant rigid silhouettes of mountains, and unbroken trees.
You trace lazy circles around Michael’s hands that held you over your ribs.
“This reminds me of Afghanistan a little.”
“Yeah?”
He sways his hand once before resting back comfortably.
“Remember the trucks?”
“Yeah—the way they always looked like they were seconds away from falling apart.”
You laugh quietly.
“Mmhm.”
“Do you remember how you kept apologizing after every bump?”
You shake your head into another breathy chuckle.
“I got so scared for you— thought you were going to fly out.”
“If it weren’t for you, I would’ve.”
You close your eyes to enjoy this moment as his hand runs itself through the front of your hair.
You scoff, “I just don’t get why you kept offering to carry those crates. They were heavy as hell.”
“I was trying to impress you. There must’ve been rocks in there or something.”
“Were you really?”
You open your eyes just enough to see his shadow over you.
“Mmhm. Wasn’t too good at it, come to think of it.”
“You weren’t.”
“Oh, wow. I see how it is,” he acts offended.
You lazily raise an arm to catch his cheek.
“I still fell in love, didn’t I?”
He lets the words soak into a comfortable silence.
“You know, I’ve never been happier that someone didn’t recognize me.”
“Mm? I thought you were offended.”
“What?”
“Yeah. You looked kinda confused— like you expected me to.”
“I wasn’t offended, though.”
He strokes your arm.
“I was relieved. I was thinking maybe I’ll have a shot with this pretty lady’”.
You chuckle softly.
“‘Pretty’, huh? With a dirty vest and messily covered hair?”
“You don’t ever believe me when I tell you these things— You were— are— genuinely the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on.”
You melt into satisfied hums.
“And you were even more dangerous with that heart of yours. Never seen one like it.”
His hand catches the middle of your sternum.
You draw a soft giggle and murmur, “Keep talking like that. I love when you do that.”
He gives a breathy laugh.
“Seriously, I would’ve laughed if someone told me you were going to marry me.”
A pause.
“Of course I had to test my luck with trying to impress you.”
Another pause, just to behold what he could of you under the darkness.
“—And apparently, I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
And somewhere between the rhythm of the tires and the warmth of his hand resting against your hair, your mind wanders back five years— to another convoy, another country, and another morning— to the day everything quietly began.
Afghanistan was nothing as you’d expected. People always spoke of war as if it had broken down its people and erased most qualities of life— it didn’t.
Children still laughed in the streets, and large families gathered in tight homes to share a meal.
Their resilience shone through even rubble and threats.
The ICRC compound had turned one of its storage tents into a makeshift children’s space while families waited for aid distribution.
You sat cross-legged in the dirt with nearly twenty children gathered around you.
“Biya, biya (come, come).”
“Khoob bacheha (Okay, kids),” you smiled, holding up an old striped sock.
“Today we’re making puppets.”
“Gudi (puppets),” you repeated as you wiggled your striped sock.
The children giggled, with a couple of the girls concealing their smiles with little hands.
Within minutes, the tent was scattered with mismatched buttons, feathered yarn, and little hands that proudly waved sock puppets through the air.
You scribbled observations as the children assigned their puppets a name, a family, and even a job.
Instead of asking questions about their struggles specifically, you let the interview disappear into play.
You asked, “If your puppet could be anywhere in the world right now, where would it go?”
A range of squeaky voices spoke at once, and you wrote them all down.
“Be mah (to the moon).”
“Home.”
“Be khona-ye bibi (grandmother’s house).”
“Paris.”
“With nana (mom).”
You scribbled down the harmless things worth remembering— the names they gave their puppets, the jobs they invented for them, the arguments over whose buttons looked better.
You weren’t there to pry stories out of children who adults had already asked enough questions. If they wanted to tell you something, they would. You were satisfied hearing just about puppets.
You held up a particularly crooked puppet. “Khoob ast (is it good)?”
A little boy immediately shook his head, “Na.”
The other children erupted into laughter.
You held your heart. “Na?!”
He grinned without an ounce of remorse.
Outside, another truck arrived, prompting your exit that was chased by little groans and dramatic goodbyes.
A small humanitarian delegation had arrived to deliver donated supplies and visit a handful of relief projects. Michael was among them— not an ICRC worker by any means, just another set of willing hands wherever he was allowed.
Volunteers scrambled to unload boxes of medical supplies.
You attempted to collect two boxes that you noticed the others didn’t dare attempt to hold— but one box alone barely raised an inch.
A second pair of hands appeared beneath them, having the weight disappear in a blink.
You looked up to see a slim man with charming black curls dangling over his eyes.
“Here,” he flashed a polite smile.
“Thanks,” you smiled back and continued to drag the boxes to the tent.
You dropped the boxes and dusted the dirt off your hands.
“That was perfect timing, my back nearly gave out,” you laughed softly.
He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck with a faint grin.
“Ha. No, you definitely had it at first— I just wanted to make it easier on you.”
“You’re lying through your teeth, stranger.”
You cheesed at him once more before you inquired, “You a volunteer?”
“Something like that. I’m here with a relief delegation for a few days.”
“Is it alright if we put you to work, then?”
“I wasn’t expecting any less.”
Before you could thank him again, a little girl ran to you, crying. She latched onto your legs while you held her head and asked her what happened.
She threw her sock puppet and simply stuffed her little face into your leg with a string of snot webbing from her nose to your trousers.
“Freshta jaan, chi shod (Dear Freshta, what happened)?”
Her clumsy hand pulled the hair from her face before sinking into your leg once again.
Michael picked up the sock puppet and puts his hand through it.
“Hello!” His voice was pitched up in a goofy fashion.
The girl’s crying slowed as she rubbed her eyes at the scene.
You cracked a smile, holding a palm over your mouth to hide your amusement.
“Oh no,” the puppet gasped dramatically. “Where did my friend go?”
Freshta peeked out.
“Bebin (look),” you whispered, nudging her gently.
She side-eyed the puppet with a grin on its way.
“Injast (She’s here),” she held her smile with the back of her hand.
“Where?”
“Inja! Inja! (Here, here),” She giggled with her hands behind her back.
“There you are!”
Within a few minutes, her tears were dry, and she was correcting the puppet every time it got something wrong.
With the children, he was good— really good. He was naturally patient, acting as though he genuinely enjoyed their company.
“You’re good at this.”
He looked over, somewhat confused.
“Hm?”
“The kids— you make them very comfortable.”
He played modest, shrugging with a humble smile.
“I have a special place in my heart for children.”
“I can tell.”
“Don’t you?— You’re great with them.”
“Of course. I live for the kids.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“Hm?”
“Oh- I just mean— I’ve been watching.”
His mouth thinned to a fine line while he failed to conceal his embarrassment.
You giggled.
“I hope only professionally.”
“For the most part.”
You heard that line— but you didn’t acknowledge it.
A coordinator scurried past you urgently, shouting,” We need someone on handling blankets, please!”
“I'm on it!” You answered before turning back to Michael.
You locked eyes with him. “You coming?”
He wasn't going to miss the opportunity for the world.
Nodding, he said, “Lead the way.”
The rest of the afternoon blurred into work, as you interviewed families without making them feel interrogated, you kept children occupied while parents waited, and—your favorite part—you bantered with anyone you could; mothers with recipes waiting to be shared, grandfathers eagerly sharing history lessons, and children talking about the lunches they look forward to eating at school.
Michael remained beside you through it all, taking every opportunity to learn the work —and, admittedly, you.
By sunset, your heart had interested him far more than anything he’d come there to see.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
You sat on the tailgate of the truck as you watched Misty clouds drift past the gradient indigo to golden dusk.
Michael joined you, offering one of the two waters in his hands.
“You write a lot.”
He looked for any chance to get to know you better.
“Mmhm,” you twisted the cap open.
“I took this job because I like people.”
You took a sip.
“Writing helps me remember them.”
He nodded in understanding.
“I like people too.”
He drank his water.
“I make music to make people happy.”
A comfort tugged at the corner of your mouth
“Music? What kinda music?”
Entertained air passed through his teeth.
“Pop, some disco, some soul, blues— a little of everything.”
You nodded politely, pretending you understood him.
“That’s sweet. It’s always nice to work in your passion.”
His face finally broke the act.
“Maybe I should introduce myself?”
“That might help.”
“I’m Michael Jackson,” he held a firm hand towards you.
You shook it and introduced yourself.
He waited for any indication of recognition— widened eyes, a gasp, anything— but there wasn’t.
“That's it?”
You frowned.
“Hm?”
“You don’t— never mind.”
You laughed.
“Sorry, my memory isn’t the best. Was I supposed to know you?”
He rubbed the back of his neck.
“It’s not important.”
“No, seriously, please. Now I’m curious.”
“I’m a musician. Kinda famous.”
“Oh,” you said apologetically.
“I’m sorry, I don’t really listen to music much.”
“What? You’re lying.”
“Sorry.”
“Stop being sorry, I’m just confused.”
He rubbed his nose bridge.
“How do you pass the time?”
“Reading?”
You said as if pitching an answer to a question uncertainly.
“Car rides?”
“News stations.”
“My god,” he scoffs, “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“Well, I’ve never met anyone that lifts three crates all at once.”
“C’mon, that was nothing.”
His eyes can’t keep off of you as the shadows of the moonlight brought out your beautiful features.
“‘C’mon’, you’re just showing off, Michael.”
His stomach flipped when you said his name. It never rolled off anyone’s tongue so gracefully, so naturally.
His grin widened.
“Maybe just a little.”
He wasn’t sure why he became so infatuated with you so early on.
Could it be your heart that made enough space for the world?
Could it be your naturally radiant beauty with an aura so visible your face catches the attention of everyone in a room?
Or could it be the fact that you acknowledged him as a person, not THE Michael Jackson, king of pop, but just Michael?
The truck jerks before rolling to a complete stop.
You lift your head that lay on Michael’s lap to notice how peaceful he looks in his slumber.
Hell, he is at peace— he’d gone weeks losing sleep over the thought of being away from you while you’re in the eye of a storm.
You gently pat his shoulder.
You whisper into a peck on his forehead, “C’mon baby, we’re here.”
He hums into a stretch with arms flexing in the air.
“You won’t believe how good I slept.”
You crack a smile.
“I noticed.”
He holds your hand while you step out of the truck.
Around you, the operation is already unfolding—medical teams tending the wounded, relief supplies being unloaded, and names being recorded for separated families.
Somewhere beyond the camp, other ICRC teams are visiting detainees and carrying news between relatives who have no other way of reaching each other. You hardly notice anymore— after years of this work, everyone simply goes where they’re needed.
A blanket of ash covers buildings that folded over themselves. Stone homes bent at impossible angles with large glassless windows that give insight into whoever lived there.
The smell— concrete, burnt wood and plastic, with a metallic note underneath it all.
“We’ve received reports of survivors in the eastern block,” your supervisor points to a map with a pen.
“Medical team here,” she draws a circle.
“Water distribution,” another circle.
Then she looks at you, with a finger far below.
“I need documentation of the site here.”
You nod without a second thought.
Michael’s eyes bulge with a gulp.
“Interview anyone able to speak. Record names if possible. We need to know who’s still here.”
“Got it.”
Michael adjusts the straps of his backpack.
“I’ll come with—”
“No.”
You answer before he finishes.
He looks at you.
“This isn’t Kabul.”
“I know.”
“You stay with camp.”
He frowns, frustrated eyebrows pushing against each other to form a T.
“I can help.”
“I know, Michael, but please. You can help by staying exactly where I know you are.”
“I don’t like the sound of that.”
“I know.”
You shush him with a quick kiss.
“I’ll be back before dinner.”
Your hands hold his cheeks as you search his eyes for understanding.
“Please be careful. Promise you will.”
He caresses, then holds a hand of yours on his face.
You nod once.
“I promise.”
Then another peck goodbye— for good measures.
He watches as you vanish into the smoke, blinding the horizon with each step that seemed to create more debris.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
Three hours snowball into four, then five.
The afternoon dissolved to evening, and evening to night.
Michael finished all busy work assigned to him hours ago—pitching the tent, stacking blankets, filling water containers—and he roamed like a headless chicken, expecting your return.
He must’ve asked the other volunteers, “Have you seen her?” at least twice each.
Only one ever came back with a response other than ‘no’, saying that you were still searching.
‘Searching.’
The word gave him a heartache every time his mind revisited the thought.
He sat outside waiting.
With every shadow, his face lit, only to droop back down after realizing it wasn’t you.
Everyone shared dinner in a single tent— but not Michael.
What if you get back and don’t find him?
What if you wanted to eat dinner with him?
Besides, the apprehension he had made it impossible to stomach anything.
Eventually— footsteps. Slow, uneven.
Your back curls like a burnt wick. Your pants tanned from dust and dirt, swallowing your entire lower half whole.
Your journal hangs loosely from your pocket.
And your hands—
stained dark.
He wishes it were dirt.
It’s not.
It’s blood.
His heart stops at the sight of you.
You face the tent disoriented, as if you’re confused how you even stumbled upon it.
“Michael,” you manage to mumble out.
He immediately stands to hold you gently from behind your shoulders, lifting a hand of yours to inspect.
“Do we still have those clean rags?”
You wipe dust out of your eye with the back of your wrist.
Your fingers tremble.
“We do.”
He tries to maintain composure through his tone, but his heart thumps out of his chest.
Your legs can barely hold your weight, loosening in the tent until Michael clasps you from falling to your knees.
“I can't—,” you shut your eyes forcefully, “— I can't get it off, Michael.”
He doesn't ask any questions— he doesn't ask whose blood it was, what happened, or even why you came so late.
He fetches a metal basin, pours water, and kneels in front of you.
“C’mere, my sweet angel.”
With his bare hands and his shirt as a cloth, he scrubs the shaking hands of your otherwise motionless body.
His touch is so impossibly gentle against your sensitive hand.
With every wring, the water turns pinker, and his touch grows softer.
Neither of you speak.
He cleans beneath each fingernail, across every knuckle.
The blood had dried into the ridges of your palms and fingerprints.
You watch him through unfocused eyes.
“There was a boy under the rubble.”
He pauses for a moment.
“He—um— asked if I came for help.”
Your eyes glaze at the wall.
“He startled me, so I dropped my pencil.
You face the pink water.
“When he tried to pick it up for me—he- I just—”
Michael swallows and continues drawing circles on your palms.
“He—”
Your breathing becomes uneven.
A silent tear landed quietly on your palm.
He sets the cloth aside and dries them with a new one.
Without saying a word, he leans towards your position on the floor and gathers you against his chest.
Your forehead presses into the hollow beneath his chin.
Only then did your body finally give in.
Exhausted sobs shake your core while he holds you as tightly as he dared.
One hand cradles behind your head and the other rests between your shoulder blades.
The most he can do is hold you and occasionally peck your forehead while you cry.
⌞The Distance 𐀪 Between 𐀪 Letters⌝
✎ᝰ.Pt. 1
ᯓ ✈︎
ᯓ Summary: You’re a humanitarian with the International Committee of the Red Cross, working on the front lines of international conflicts. During your prolonged stay in the eye of Lebanon’s civil war, a missed phone call and lost communications send your fiancé into a panic—and when waiting for answers becomes unbearable, Michael decides to come find you himself.
ᯓ Content: Michael x fem!reader, established relationship, fiancé!Michael, humanitarian worker!reader, Lebanese Civil War setting (later mention of other countries like Afghanistan and, very briefly, Ethiopia) , ICRC (Red Cross), humanitarian aid, situational angst, hurt/comfort, FLUFF!! FLUFFY ASH AND WILL ONLY GET FLUFFIER!!, separation, mutual devotion, protective Michael, war and displacement, mentions of death and injury, blood, emotional distress, flashbacks, eventual happy ending, NO MENTION OF Y/N
A/n: I wanted to write about MJ’s humanitarian side— this story will get emotional and contains some sensitive topics. I won’t be going too much in detail, but if you don’t think you can stomach war, please dni. This will have four parts and I’ve already finished most of it. Idk how this’ll be received but idc it’s the ugly things in life that bring out the love & humanity in us.
W/c: 2.8k
Masterlist Here
Tags: @memyselfandmikey @amazegumballz @mino99jksn @nimblejuggernauthorizon @iheartpizzamyheart @sssshahadddd @slavetotherhythmofluv
Michael groans at the digital clock at his bedside that mocked his inability to sleep.
Instinctively, he reaches for the right side of the bed, only to be reminded of its frigidity—the reason behind his sleeplessness.
The red smudge visible behind his eyelids revealed itself as 4:31 a.m. as soon as he gave up trying.
He hadn’t slept—well, not really. His eyes shut a few times throughout the night, but he was humbled as soon as he was just barely close enough to reach sleep status.
You were still there— directly in harm's way, while Michael tried not to let the guilt eat him alive for allowing it.
You promised to call yesterday.
You always called.
Why didn’t you call yesterday?
Even if it were only a minute due to a poor satellite connection— even if it was one of those where he could only hear your breathing— anything. ‘God, please, give me anything’, he whispers to himself.
He sits on the edge of the mattress with elbows to his knees and a knot in his abdomen. Between his thumb and index finger is a letter folded neatly— softened from being opened so many times.
He unfolds its creases, holding down the photograph that slips out every time he opens it.
The photo—an orphan girl, holding your leg like a koala bear, while you grab your stomach in a belly laugh.
The letter reads;
“Little Maha here nearly lost her breath when I told her who I was writing letters to all the time… I gave her one of your T-shirts, hope you don’t mind. She’s a strong little baby. You would’ve loved her.
Miss you, love you,
Your fiancé♡”
He smiles faintly.
His heart skips a beat when the phone rings, and he immediately pounces to lift it.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Jackson.”
His stomach sinks. That’s not you. His mind races.
“This is the International Committee of the Red Cross.”
His grip around the handset tightens, almost enough to snap the phone clean in half.
“Is everything alright?” His adam’s apple bobs a few times for such forceful gulps.
The man on the other end responds with silence. Too much silence for nothing to be wrong.
The room seems to spin as he waits for a response.
“We’ve unfortunately lost communications with her regional office.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means they missed their scheduled transmissions yesterday morning. We haven’t been able to reestablish contact.”
“Is she alive?”
Another pause.
“We have no information suggesting otherwise. But right now, Mr. Jackson, we can’t confirm the team’s status.”
Impossible. Just weeks ago, you two couldn't be apart for even a moment—wrapped up in each other until you could feel his heartbeat through your own chest.
Now, the anticipation of every piecemeal letter and phone call makes it impossible to eat, drink, or sleep.
Drifting without purpose, he paces around each room in deep thought.
Everything at Neverland reminds him of your absence.
Draped around his dining room chair is the sweater you took from him from time to time when the AC made you too cold. He holds it to his chest, lifting its neckline to his nose to breathe some of your delicious perfume— the one-of-a-kind parfum that he bought you from a rural vendor during your time in France.
He lasts no more than twelve hours before buying a plane ticket.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
The journey to Lebanon punished anyone stubborn enough to attempt it.
Every step of the journey depended on someone who knew a little (well, a lot) more than him—an aid contact arranging transportation , a pilot deciding where it was safe enough to land, a few drivers who knew which roads had suddenly become unusable overnight.
For once, money and recognition meant nothing.
He simply went where he was told and hoped every person passing him along knew how to get him one step closer to you.
His flight landed well north of the fighting where commercial aircraft could still safely arrive. After that, safety was far from guaranteed.
A helicopter carried aid workers farther south, rattling violently against mountain winds strong enough to make every bolt in its frame sound temporary.
The pilot shouted in broken English over the thundering engine that they’d have to divert twice because of shelling.
The helicopter descended onto a grassy yard, no larger than a fast-food parking lot, in front of an abandoned shack.
This was only half the journey—he still had to chase a taxi to drive him to your location.
To American standards, it was barely a taxi, as doors only shut with the force strong enough to break them, and the back windows were replaced by a plastic film that fluttered during accelerations and clung through loosely applied duct tape.
The driver drove as if signs were suggestions and without regard to the damage.
Around villages with stone walls, piles of rubble drooped into mountains— waving drying laundry that still gripped their clotheslines amidst the destruction.
Life continues despite their landslides. Children play ball in the streets, and women walk side-by-side to chatter.
He holds his head with his hand, hoping you’re just as unshaken.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
The ICRC field office is an ocean of humanitarian workers, with the noise resembling the cracking of tsunami waves against a metropolis.
Maps adorned with pins and yarn embellish every wall, and his vision blurs as the dashes of motion that follow everyone fade into a haze.
Everyone is in some rush— with shuffling and pushing in every direction.
Michael spots the first person wearing an ICRC vest.
“‘Scuse me, please? I’m looking for—“
The woman cuts him off, “We’re looking for everyone.”
“My fiancé,” she pauses to get a look at him. She suspects she’d seen him before volunteering in the past.
“Do you know what team?”
“No.“
He looks down at his fidgeting hands, then tells her your name, hoping it rings a bell.
Her face lights up.
“I saw her this morning.”
Relief floods him so suddenly he has to steady himself against the table.
“Where?”
She points to a distant village nestled beyond hills.
“She’s supposed to be documenting aid deliveries,” she smiles, “knowing her, she’s probably doing anything but that.”
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
You were.
The afternoon sun tired itself from its relentlessly hostile light, fading into a dimmed shadow of its former self.
One heavy water jug dug into your forearm while another rested against your hip.
An elderly woman shuffled beside you, refusing help with far more determination than strength.
She insisted despite her frail self, “Khalini se’idik (Let me help you).”
“La’, wala hemmik (no, don’t worry about it),” you smiled at her.
The woman finally surrendered the third jug.
When you reached her doorway, she placed a weathered hand over her heart.
“Allah ykhaliki (May god protect you),” her lips that thinned with age wrinkled into a smile.
Before turning to leave, you ask tenderly, “Fi shi ghayr, habibti (is there anything else, dear)?”
She shook her head. “La’. Yislemo ideyki, ya binti (no. May your hands be blessed, my daughter).”
You smiled once more before lifting the empty containers.
There were still three more houses to reach before nightfall.
Someone had warned your team that fighting could spread toward the village soon— weeks, days, or even hours— you weren’t sure.
People needed water before they fled—there was no time for breaks or rest.
You had spent days watching children pack a life’s worth of belongings into small school backpacks, spending nights helping families prepare to leave their livelihoods behind.
Still, not every memory you gathered was miserable.
You’d been overfed by women who refused to let you leave without another plate, beaten horribly at card games by children who most certainly cheated, and got pulled into conversations over coffee that lasted much longer than your breaks allowed.
Even with war threatening to swallow everything people found reasons to laugh, gossip, argue, cook, and carry on.
That was partially why leaving them behind felt so impossible.
You hadn’t slept, because you couldn’t.
Michael spots you before you could spot him.
For a moment, he wishes he hadn’t. Your clothes are dusted with dirt, with a streak that’s managed its way up your cheek. Your eyes are sunken with a shade of purple magnifying your heavy eyelids. Your rolled sleeves reveal scattered bruises— some yellow, some maroon.
You walk with a hurried stride that contradicts your tired appearance.
He smiles anyway, pacing towards you.
You walk right past him to lift another crate.
His smile disappears.
“Angel?”
No response.
He feels sick to his stomach.
His mind races once again.
‘Did she hit her head? Brain damage? Amnesia? Something?’
He calls your name loud enough for the other workers to turn their heads.
He holds his heart as he waits for a reaction.
You stop in your tracks and turn around with a gulp. You stare for a moment, narrowing your eyes, before they bulge out with a gloss in recognition.
“Michael?”
Your eyebrows raise and push against eachother.
The crate slips from your hands, with your legs already pushing you towards him before you hear it thump.
He barely has time to open his arms before you cannonball into them, leaving your legs wrapped around his torso and arms around his neck.
After weeks of settling for the scent of you through a sweater, his senses fully envelop you.
You bury yourself in the nape of his neck and let the gloss make way for a stream of tears.
With your chest pumping, you let it all go— the kind of cry that comes from a period of holding it together for way too long.
“Baby, I can’t— I can’t do this anymore.” You sob.
“I know.”
With one hand he holds you upright, and with the other he sways into your back.
“The children—“
You can hardly force the words out.
“There are so many— all asking where their parents are.”
You shake your head violently against his shoulder.
“I’m— I’m trying— it’s never enough.”
He sighs, partially in relief, and partially in agreement.
“You’re doing what you can. It’s more than enough for one person.”
“I know I'm only one person. That’s why I feel so useless.” Your voice softens, with your eyes shutting properly for the first time in three days against his skin.
He pulls back just enough to look at you.
“You carried half the village’s water today.”
He drops you carefully, thumb swiping the tears that fell onto your cheek.
“You haven’t slept.”
The same thumb brushes the dirt off your cheek.
“Look at you, baby. You can barely keep your eyes open and you’re still worried about everybody else.”
He pecks your forehead, lingering just long enough for him to close his eyes in relief.
“And you’re calling yourself useless?”
Your shoulders relaxed before wrapping your arms around him once more.
“I took a few days off.”
You feel his gulp against your ear.
“What?”
Your eyebrows furrow.
“For you.”
“But why?”
He rests his forehead against yours.
“I couldn’t sleep wondering if you were safe all the time.”
Your noses brushed against each other, closing the small gap between you for a slow, lingering kiss that he could memorize before you parted ways once more.
You let yourself believe that you were secure— with him, in his embrace.
For the first time in weeks, this is the safest you’ve felt.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
You don’t recall much of what occurred on your return to the tent, but you do remember Michael’s refusal to let go.
His fingers remained locked over yours, fearing that if he released them, he might lose you again. They held on even as you stepped over broken masonry, and despite the children bidding you farewell.
Every so often, he would squeeze your hand and brush his thumb over your knuckles, just to make sure that you were really there.
Unsteady canvas tents stretched along browned blades of grass with stitched doors flapping in the evening breeze. Just a sliver of blue was left in the sky, brushing a dulling backdrop onto stars. Glowing lanterns looked like fireflies from a distance, with the silent sun making way for a muting of chaos. Someone stirred a communal pot over an open fire. Someone else wrapped bandages over a little boy.
It was almost peaceful.
“My tent,” you point with loose hands.
Michael ducks inside before beholding the disheartening state of your current home.
There is barely enough space for the both of you.
Your single sleeping bag curls inward at its end— just long enough to reach your ankle.
One backpack oozing with your belongings is pushed off to the corner, alongside an empty crate that held a few candles like some sort of bedside table.
You unroll a second sleeping bag beside yours.
“I’m sorry.”
You don’t have the heart to look him in the eyes.
“For what?”
His eyebrows furrow.
“Making you come all this way to sleep on the floor like this.”
“You didn’t make me do anything,” he kneels behind you and massages your neck.
“I did.”
“No.”
“I made you worry.”
“You always do.”
You push an amused puff through your nose.
You blow out the wick across from you, with the warm golden atmosphere that its light brought vanishing in a blink, leaving just a trail of ashy smoke curling above it.
The friction against your sleeping bags squeaks with the sound of nearby crickets and distant explosions.
Michael lies behind you, taking the same position that he would were you in his bed.
His arm slips around your waist.
You instinctively back into him before the gap is nonexistent and your spine is against his chest.
Holding his arms, the warmth in your abdomen travels up your chest. For the first time in weeks, you feel at ease.
Your lips parting make a clicking noise.
“It’s never been this quiet.”
He smiles faintly.
“It’s not even quiet.”
“I know.”
A pause to assess how to release his obvious strain.
“I think that taxi driver almost killed you,” your smile pushes an entertained wind through it.
A soft laugh vibrates against your back.
“He was sure as hell trying. He must’ve broken at least ten traffic laws.”
“Ten?” You turn around just enough to look at him with your cheeks briefly touching the tip of his chin. “Michael, baby, there aren’t any traffic laws.”
“Apparently not.”
“I’m serious,” you turn back with a settled smile.
“I know.” He sighs. “I'm happy you can still laugh.”
You don’t respond.
You don’t know how to.
You can’t laugh—not honestly, at least.
Your smile disappears as soon as he isn’t looking.
Your eyes are blank, fixated on nothing at all on the wall of the tent.
You glide your fingers over his that swayed against your abdomen.
“You know, I keep seeing them.”
His fingers stop moving.
“The kids.”
A pause.
Your voice lowers, “When I close my eyes, they’re still there.”
He becomes so quiet you can hear his blinks.
“Still asking where their parents are.”
Your throat tightens, urging you not to speak another word or you’ll cry again.
“I don’t know what to tell them— even after weeks of them asking me.”
“You don’t have to know the answer.”
He whispers above your ear.
“They need to know someone cares enough to respond.”
He tucks a loose strand of hair off your face and behind your ear.
“You show them exactly that, though.”
“It’s not enough.”
“No, it’s not.”
His response surprises you, enough that a line forms between your eyebrows.
“Like I said, you’re only one person. You’re doing enough for you.”
You exhale and relax into his embrace.
You flinch at an explosion— closer this time- no less than a quarter mile away.
“I’m here.”
He intertwines your fingers.
“I know.”
“Go to sleep.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Shh.”
He kisses your temple.
“I’ll stay awake.”
“No.”
“I will. You deserve to sleep more than anyone.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know.”
He draws circles into the backs of your hands with his thumbs.
“I love you.”
“Mmm,” you hum into him.
“You can say it back.”
“I can.”
He tsks.
“I was waiting for you to shut up.”
With a smile, he leans in and kisses your cheek, feeling the dimples.
“There’s my angel—“
His cheek rests against your temple for a moment.
With a softer tone, “—my beautiful fiancé.”
You roll your eyes into a genuine grin.
“Goodnight, Mikey.”
“Goodnight, baby.”
You finally manage to rest your eyes decently after weeks of twisting and turning.
꧁⎝˗ˏˋ𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི´ˎ˗⎠꧂
Your eyelids fight to stay shut against the stomping you hear outside your tent.
Eventually, someone yanks the flap of your tent open and shakes your shoulder—hard.
The force wakes your fiancé with you.
“Up.”
Your superior’s voice is urgent, firm, and controlled.
“We’re moving.”
You blink against the darkness.
“Jennifer? What time is it?”
“Three.”
You don’t ask questions. You get to packing.
Outside, engines are rumbling, and people shuffle between tents with backpacks slung over their shoulders.
Closing the flap of your tent, you look at Michael, who is already packing for you.
He doesn’t ask questions. He simply gets moving.
He understands that in places like this, it’s better to follow directions than to stick around long enough to find out.

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oh my god
I’m so fucking hungry