pyrozketches

Something funny is happening here, and I'm finally beginning to notice it.

there was something about this scene that made me sit up. maybe it's just hawkeye's monologue, delivered with an unsettling calm that instinctively makes everyone who encounters him extremely nervous, notably radar and trapper. in this ep, hawkeye possesses the serenity of someone you can't trust not to do something, well, crazy. and this was early season two! it's hard to think about the fact that he was broken for so long and no one did anything about it because he could still be useful: slap some duct tape over the cracks and on you go, bucko.

but there's also trapper's body language in this scene.

(I've been in the thick of the later seasons lately and hadn't watched anything from the first three for several years before this past week -- so inevitably I end up making the trapper-bj comparison in my head as I watch.)

there's something grabbing me about how trapper reacts the moment he wakes up to hawkeye hovering over him: a wariness, caution. for much of the scene he doesn't even turn fully to face him, like he might be able to shoulder past the moment, gaze half-averted. don't lock eyes with the crazy person, yes, yes, but also a bit of don't fall in, if you fall in, you'll never be able to climb out.

and it's pretty easy to picture bj in this same scenario: turning fully to face hawkeye on the bed, open and engaging him with some measured concern and perhaps a feeling of responsibility to monitor him while he is in this state.

but the thing is, I don't see the disparity in these reactions as indicative of some lack of feeling on trapper's part? it feels like it's a matter of survival for him. bj didn't compartmentalize, either by choice or necessity; he coped by keeping the image of his wife and child ever present in his mind, like if he blinked for too long they'd no longer be there when he next opened his eyes. but trapper did the opposite; he drew a hard line between War and Home. and hawkeye was solidly part of the former.

and what do you do with War? well...

Trapper Why don't you go to sleep? You're turning into a 170-pound fruitcake.

Hawkeye If I thought I could stop it just by going to sleep, don't you think I'd try?