Pynch Week 2018, Day 7: Midnights
The apartment above St. Agnes was not the worldās coziest dwelling: it was small and cramped, the floors unfinished, nails protruding from the ceiling; it was hot in the summer and drafty in the winter. Currently, Adam was diligently plowing through his reading for class, wrapped up in multiple layers and his knitted blanket (compliments of Blue). He refused to think about how his feet were always cold and his nose was running and his fingers were bright red from the chill. It was better than the trailer.
It was just after midnight ā the bells of St. Agnes had finally stopped tolling ā when someone knocked on Adamās door. Adam stood slowly, popping his neck and stretching out his stiff limbs. Most likely it was Ronan, here to crash for the night. Ronan sleeping over wasnāt anything new but the reason why he chose to be in Adamās cold apartment instead of his warm bed at the Barns was.
Adam unlocked and opened the door and found Ronan waiting outside, his form silhouetted against a sky of brilliant stars sparkling clear and sharp in the icy winter air. Ronanās breath puffed out in white clouds. He clutched his sleeping bag in one hand, an overnight bag in the other.
āHey,ā Adam said, opening the door wider to allow Ronan in. Ronan nodded and stepped inside, brushing by Adam. The bitter wind followed him in and Adam quickly shut the door.
The small, lonely apartment immediately felt fuller, warmer with Ronanās presence. Ronan didnāt bother to take off his bulky coat or his scarf and hat but he did remove his muddy boots. Adam took his bags and set them next to his humble mattress-on-the-floor bed.
A single lamp lit the apartment, casting most of the bare room in soft shadows. By its light Ronan looked more careworn than ever. This winter had not been kind to him. His bones were closer to his skin, his eyes deeply shadowed, his skin chapped. A thousand nightmares plagued him and there was little Adam could do to help.
āHey,ā Adam said again, quieter. Ronan lifted his head and met Adamās eyes. āCome here.ā
Adam held his arms open, coaxing Ronan to come closer until he was nestled in Adamās embrace. Adam stuck his arms in Ronanās coat, hugging him tightly, his hands fisting in Ronanās soft sweater. Ronan bent his head and his cold lips brushed Adamās neck sending shivers racing down his spine.
They held each other until they were both warmer, coats shed and abandoned on the floor. Adam still had reading to finish but he pulled Ronan down onto the mattress and wrapped the green blanket around both of them.
Ronan laid down facing the door and Adam curled up behind him, head tucked between Ronanās shoulders. He drank in the scent of the Barns, of Ronan. Ronanās face was pressed into Adamās pillow and Adam could feel the way Ronanās lungs expanded as he inhaled deeply. It made Adamās heart ache and beat harder, made his eyes prick with tears.
They had both gained so much in the last six months ā and lost nearly as much. They were irrevocably changed, floundering after the death of Aurora and the demon and Cabeswater. In the midst of their shared loss they clung tighter, the romance that had only just begun to flower was sharpened, honed. The tang of mortality had brought a fresh sense of urgency to their slowly awakened feelings, or so it seemed to Adam. He couldnāt think of what he and Ronan had as anything normal, it felt completely new, a startling love that no other human had experienced.
And always his thoughts were laced with Cabeswater, his mind writing their love story with thorns and flowers, new leaves and twining vines, sweet fruit and grasping roots. He wondered if his temporary union with Ronanās dreamt forest had permanently altered his mind, then he pushed the worry aside. He didnāt mind it; he didnāt regret it.
Ronan sighed quietly and took Adamās hand in his, cradling it against his chest. His breathing deepened and his body relaxed against Adamās. The quiet settled in around them, profound and poignant.
Adam listened to the wind howl outside, imagined it sweeping through night-shadowed forests, between rocky crags, along freezing rivers. Frost and the impenetrable dark pressed against the windows of his apartment but they couldnāt touch him or Ronan. They were safe. They were home.