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what the fuck thank you ??? that’s such high praise i just like overthinking characters, i’m glad my ideas resonate with people

i’m very torn on this but i’m leaning towards it being juice. many recovered addicts avoid substances all together because there’s no single glass of wine, one glass leads to the whole bottle. i think he tried to have a drink with the others on special occasions, which, even if not right away, lead to a small relapse. accidentally getting drunk when he just wanted to join the others in the fun would crush him. he feels like he’s just not allowed what others can get easily.

so i do think he’s completely sober, and i also think the yearning for the high substances can provide never really goes away, only quiets. he feels a bit left out at parties, get togethers, celebrations because if he wants to match the others’ alcohol fueled joy and energy, there will be much more severe concequinces than a hangover. i doubt he would mention it’s juice until he’s ready to be completely open about his struggles, but he does eventually, and his friends become more considerate about drinking when hanging out with him, even though he never asked them to.

yes! i very much think genji never had any meaningful relationships besides kiriko and hanzo, and those were fairly strained as well. i can see him trying to feel loved and look for his own worth through one night stands, but sex without feelings only does so much, if not actively making him feel worse. besides his charm and good looks, he’s also a shimada, so there would be a good bunch of people trying to get close to him for status, secrets, or to simply have bragging rights. genji pretends he either doesn’t care or doesn’t notice, he would be too prideful and self centered not to. he’s also most likely not sober during these. i can see him developing attachment issues because of people constantly using him, which would later fuck up most relationships he tries to build, because he can’t trust them not to leave or help him selflessly.

i think regardless of all the work he’s done alone and with zenyatta, he’s still weary of who he shows his body too, especially since most of his armor hides insanely sensitive, life saving mechanisms. some of the machines have to be so finely tuned that angela can’t make them more sturdy. it would be a huge show of vulnerability to remove these pieces, even if he completely trusts his partner. i also like the idea of his partner doing intim but non-sexual things for him, like helping him clean parts of his cybernetics he has trouble doing alone. i definitely agree that he’s looking for much deeper connections, even if he’s craving sex.

he also had to reexplore his body after the incident. i prefer the concept of him having extremely limited ability to feel with his cybernetics, especially in blackwatch. he has pain receptors connected to his nervous system to prevent him from jumping into battle while seriously injured, but lighter touches mostly get lost. there’s more sensitive receptors in places like his palm, but it’s much duller than the real thing. he also has a good amount of skin affected by nerve damage, so he needs to figure out how to enjoy sex without these, with the additional worry of his partner being disgusted by him or accidentally causing a fatal mistake in a machenism.

his new suit has a greatly improved sense of touch, but it’s still like he’s being touched through very thick clothing (although being able to crank up these sensors to be super sensitive is a banger fic idea). he specifically asked for this to be upgraded when angela asked if he has any priorities or requests. he still can’t feel through unremovable metal armor, and some places have more sensors than others, but it’s definitely an upgrade.

back on track - i think he was too busy getting used to his new body to have many sexual desires in blackwatch, but when he did, he was really frustrated about basically not knowing anything about his body and it took him a gooooood amount of time to figure it out. stuff like his cooling system and fans whirring to life would throw him off and ruin a lot of orgasms.

it leads me to think the blackwatch suit was a temporary one before his new suit came in; whether the delay was accidental (i'm assuming the making of a suit like genji's would be very intricate and take some time) or on purpose (mercy gets taken off of blackwatch and moira isn't necessarily in any rush to finalise his rebuilding) i'm unsure, but i like to think when he got put into overwatch, graduated it and got the new suit, he had to undergo a second round of surgeries with organs that prioritised his comfort.

it means that between joining overwatch and coming back for recall, he would've been able to get drunk and such, which i can see leading to a relapse of sorts maybe. it gets better once he becomes zenyatta's student, and nowadays he could get drunk but chooses not to. sort of thought i had, sorry for the rant!

NEVER APOLOGISE FOR TALKING TO ME ABOUT MY HYPERFIXATIONS

and yesyesyes i love that!!!! i do think almost all of genji’s first round of cybernetics were insanely experimental, to the point of angela using omnic blueprints to expand on. stuff like his eye color changing back to brown once they figure out how to optimize the augments and hide the red glow they had in blackwatch.

i think he can stomach some alcohol even when he’s first rebuilt, but his biological body is like 1/4th of what it used to be, and he maybe has half his liver, meaning his blood alcohol levels rise insanely fast and he almost overdoses before he figures it out properly. i love the idea of him being able to drink more with his new suit and that being the reason for his continous relapses. i’m also sure angela is aware of his issues when designing it, and she’s torn between trying to help genji and feeling like he already has enough on his plate. it’s the can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped kinda thing.

somewhat unrelated but it’s also really important to me that he finds the path himself, and zenyatta is only there to provide guidence and a shoulder to lean on, which is how i imagine his teaching in general. thus he won’t stop genji from drinking or taking anything, but he’s there to help when he asks, and he doesn’t judge. many addicts fail to start recovery because of the stigma of addiction, and he doesn’t seem like the kinda guy to ask for help even back in his old life, so zenyatta being patient and open would allow him to safely open up too. i love them dearly.

i feel like regardless of being sober for years, knowing he has the addict gene (hanzo has it too and he’s a bit too heavy handed with alcohol, but manages it above a functioning alcoholic level) would loom over him like a shadow. he doesn’t wanna explain why he’s refusing alcohol so he just blames it on his body not being able to take it, until eventually he grows enough to be confident in his soberty.

//tw for addiction and substances

we know he tried his best to cope with his family and avoid his responsibilities, being a bit of a man of the town, going out a lot, most likely getting drunk. but drinking constantly sucks, hits too slow, you have to deal with hangovers, and he’s a shimada, so there’s no way people who wanted to get on his good side didn’t try to offer him increasingly harder drugs. he’s charismatic, but talking to people and getting laid is so much easier when you don’t have to remember their faces, and it soothes the ache in his chest for any meaningful relationships. kiriko is too young to share his troubles with, and him and hanzo are taking turns pushing each other away, he’s as lonely as one can be, and by the time their father dies, he developes several addictions.

hanzo is aware of almost everything, though he doesn’t know the extent of just how bad it is. they have several fights about it at the beginning, after which genji starts hiding it way better. he wants to push away the family name, not his brother. still, hanzo is the one who collects him after rougher outings, and dear god, does genji give him a few scares. having to franctically search for his pulse or pacing in front of their medic’s door all night leaves scars on him.

his recovery in blackwatch is also slowed by withdrawl. he spends weeks unable to really get up much, months locked in the med bay. his symptoms are mostly written off as his body responding to extreme trauma, and while blackwatch does have a file on his past, angela doesn’t have the heart to deny him strong pain medication for his injuries. his cybernetics, while advanced, are fairly experimental due to the extent of the damage, meaning most parts prioritaze keeping him alive over comfort. when he recovers enough, he starts stealing meds from moira’s lab, who, frankly, could not care like angela would.

he really doesn’t talk much with his team mates, he tends to lash out at people while sober and hides away while high. he can’t drink with them, since it would mean taking off his face plate, and he found that what’s left of his digestive system doesn’t take well to alcohol either, so he just avoids everyone the best he can. reyes eyes him from afar, but genji is simply incredible on the battlefield, hasn’t shown any issues besides what he insists (and truth be told, could be) are mishaps with his cybernetics, so as long as his work is done, he lets him be, which angela voices concerns about to both of them.

after a few close calls, and a bunch of nights spent shaking in cold sweat on the bathroom floor, he does try to get better while part of overwatch. he wants to be the hero people think he is, without the shadow of where he’s gonna get his next fill from looming over him. but he’s ashamed and stubborn, refusing to ask for help and falling back into the cycle over and over again. it’s also hard to let go of one of the last remaining ways to have control over his body, feeling like he did back in his old life. and this mindset persists well after overwatch’s fall, walking with him until he finds himself at the monastery.

zenyatta is patient, frustratingly so. he doesn’t deny anything from genji, but guides him on the way he needs to walk. genji opens up slowly, healing and letting go of his addictions bit by bit. there are pitfalls, but his master is there to serve as a guiding light amongst the clouds, and by the time of the recall, he found the peace he needed in zenyatta’s teachings.

he doesn’t feel frustrated or left out when his friends are celebrating, just raises his glass of juice and takes out a lollypop zenyatta started hiding in his stuff at the monastery whenever they are smoking.

i could be wrong because i’m still pretty new to ow, but most skins are entirely seperate universes. for this, i was only considering lore skins, which are young genji, blackwatch, ow1 and 2 base, and new era, which is his current canon look i think. date night has similar cybernetics to his base but none of the scaring, it’s probably just a random fan service skin.

however, i really really wanna get into the lore of more skinlines because alternate take on characters has always been a super fun concept to me. so i’m excited to see what blizzard has to offer, or if we ever get an explonation for new era genji’s missing arm.

i feel like despite coming to terms with his body and humanity, the accident would greatly impact him, undoing much of the progress he achieved with zenyatta. he can no longer reach out to feel something with his fingers, touch a lover’s face, or do something as simple as hold a mug of hot tea for comfort. he has to remove either his chestplate or visor to expose skin to feel with, both of which are heavily scarred and affected by nerve damage, most likely. not to mention these pieces of armor protect much more vital organs, and cannot be removed easily, like a glove could. while some parts of his body might have sensors to detect a lighter touch than a stab wound, it’s most likely duller than the real thing and restricted to places like his palm.

he would be hesitant to seek out zenyatta for a little while, the shock of the loss mudding his ability to think, feeling ashamed about mourning a body that he thought he was prepared to lose more of. in the end, he finds his master for guidence, zenyatta welcoming him with open arms and the same patience he did when he first found genji.

i also think cassidy and hanzo would have strong feelings about the loss. hanzo, regardless of reuniting with his brother and working on fixing their relationship, still feels deep guilt about what he has done, only worsened by genji’s accident. genji tries not to show his hurt in front of his brother, especially while he is still waiting for the new arm, but he doesn’t have the energy to keep it up.

cassidy was his closest friend in blackwatch, if you could call it that. genji was closed off and lashed out at the man’s every attempt to make conversation, opening up just barely, slowly. still, it was enough for cassidy to have glimpses into genji’s frustration and hatred for his body over the years. when they got a bit closer, close enough for genji to tolerate cassidy’s hand on his shoulder, the cowboy found it calmed the other man a bit. genji didn’t let anyone else touch him if it wasn’t necessary, save for maybe gabriel, but their commander was just as drawn back, giving them a pat on the back on good days. regardless, he learned keeping a hand on his friend’s still working shoulder was not unwelcome.

now dark grey silicon was covering most of the area where cassidy’s hand used to rest, and when he placed it there out of habit, genji tensed up, as much as he could with a mostly mechanical body, and curled into himself. cassidy was well aware what this loss must have meant to the man, but he couldn’t come close to imagining it.

genji had to relearn using that hand, although it went much quicker than his initial recovery. he tried to push through without showing much to the world, going back to the med bay for adjustments and recalibrations, but cassidy heard genji’s frustrated grunts whenever his wakizashi slipped from his palm during training.