red and gold

She watched as his eyes wandered, but felt a pang of disappointment as he fought his natural urges and kept his eyes above chest level. If visual wasn’t going to do him in, she would have to play around with the tactile senses and turn it up a notch. Slowly, she raised a hand up to lay it on the part of his chest she had previously exposed. “Come on, Sirius. Don’t you want to have a little fun? Your common room or mine?” She asked, trailing a finger along his collar bone. 

"Yours," he smirked, "I'll drop you off before heading back to the Gryffindor tower. I don't know about you, but I'm all partied out for one night." 

As it seemed as if her plan might fall through, Marlene decided she needed to get more aggressive. Boys were boys. It didn’t matter if they were Sirius or Severus. They all wanted sex and it wasn’t hard to get them to give it up. Why was he resisting? After unbuttoning another of his buttons, she moved on to her own. “Why wouldn’t it be a good idea?” She asked tartly, but quickly tried to switch back to flirtatious and alluring. Marlene McKinnon would not lose this fight. “I mean, don’t you think I’m pretty?” She asked him pathetically, not wanting to lose what she believed to be her only advantage above people. 

Oh Merlin. She's undoing her buttons. After one quick glance at her chest, Sirius swore inside his head and made eye contact with her, forbidding himself to look any lower than her chin. Yes. I think you're far more than pretty. "Come on, Marls. You don't need me to tell you you're pretty. You're well secure of your own attractiveness." 

Marlene shrugged, as if disinterested either way. “He has a certain flair about him, don’t you think? I mean, he’s a charming dancer, ” She droned on, partially aware of the way it was making Sirius squirm and partially just drunk enough to not realize she was rambling at this point. Her face was still blotched from the crying, but she found herself still blissfully unaware of her current state. Everything was a distraction.  Slowly, she trailed a hand up his shirt, tugging at one of the buttons. Marlene bit her lip, flashing him what she thought to be a naughty smile. “What makes you say that, Scruffy?”  

The smirk disappeared from his face as he felt Marlene's touch through the thin fabric of his shirt. God, even when she was wasted and her face was blotchy, her slightest touch managed to have more of an effect on him than all of the girls he's been with. Most of his brain was screaming at him to let her continue, but the small part of him that was still a gentleman knew that was a bad idea. "Marlene," he said, his tone almost reprimanding. "I don't think that's a good idea." 

"I don’t know if I can answer the knocker’s question right now without slurring, and, sweetie, I’m not sure if you’re up for the intellectual challenge," She teased, reaching up to tap him on the nose. The truth was, Marlene was one of the few Ravenclaws who often got stumped by the knocker’s questions. It was embarrassing, mortifying, and often ended in her sleeping somewhere random in the castle and claiming she was with a boy just to avoid admitting she was possibly the dumbest Ravenclaw.  "Then again, Bertram is usually around and you could probably just pass me off to him," She mused, reaching out and taking his hands with an over-dramatic stumble forward. It was all a show and Marlene wasn’t leaving until her audience was satisfied.

"I have the feeling you're attempting to manipulate me, Marlene, dearest," he said calmly as Marlene took his hand. From now on, you need to wait five seconds before you reply to anything she says, he thought to himself. Letting a sober Marlene get to you is pretty much unpreventable, but letting a drunk Marlene maniuplate you? That's embarassing. 

Her inhibitions lowered, her ego at an all-time low, and her mind hazed, Marlene wasn’t going to back down. The instant that Sirius took a shot at removing the bottle from her hand, her grip suddenly turned tight and strict. “No,” She told him firmly and shortly, much like a toddler. Dropping the quick-angered demeanor, she smiled at him again. “I have had too much, haven’t I?” She asked curiously, innocently almost, “Much too much for a lady of my stature. I can’t be left here alone. Who knows who would try to take advantage of me?” Her head tilted back and forth, a sickeningly sweet smile imposing itself. She glanced up, giving him a grin that hid so much more. “Take me back to my room? Better yet, take me to James’s. He’ll take care of me,” She requested, holding the bottle out as if she was going to go simply and innocently. Her wheels were already turning. 

If her comment about James looking after her was supposed to make him jealous, she certainly succeeded. "I can take care of you just fine," he said shortly, before silently reprimanding himself - he was falling right into her trap. Even when she was drunk she could manipulate him. "How about I just take you to the common room? I'm sure you'll be able to find your way to your bed fine." He stepped away from the railing, holding out his hand to her. Normally he would never offer to hold hands with anyone, but there were a lot of steps down from the astronomy tower, and he didn't trust Marlene's legs to support her the whole way down. 

Anyone but him, she begged the universe internally, but her drunken stupor did not allow her to get up and walk away. She was craving human contact with such an intensity that she would’ve taken to trying to lay with the whomping willow if she had survived the initial attempt. Marlene was weak; she knew it. She needed someone to tell her she was beautiful and worth something. It was pathetic and she hated herself for it, but she couldn’t deny it. Sometimes, alcohol made her feel better by letting it forget. Other times, it illuminated everything with such an intensity that she had no choice but to face it head on. Right now, it was reminding her just how much of a whore she really could be, but, at the same time, reminding her how many times she had dreamt of Sirius. Before looking back up, she wiped her face again. Silently, she hoped most of her eyeliner had come off on her hand. She would have to make up some story about spilling alcohol on herself and smearing it. Her drunken mind assumed that would suffice. Whether or not Sirius would take the bait, she didn’t know. Two solid breaths was all it took for her to regain composure. Granted, it was drunken composure, but no more tears slipped out of her eyes. Marlene tilted her head up at him, giving him a grin. “Fancy seeing you here tonight," She smirked, “I’m afraid I’m almost out of alcohol to share." She waved her hand nonchalantly over at the empty bottles beside her. The glint in her eye was unmistakable. Marlene had something going on behind her innocent facade. If her father was going to call her a whore, she might as well get all the benefits out of it. Take that, Daddy. 

Sirius frowned, completely forgetting to finish his sentence. A sober Marlene, he could sometimes handle. A drunk Marlene, challenge accepted. But a crying Marlene? Sirius was expecting a night of having their own personal party, not consolling the annoying brat he was desperately trying to stop thinking about. "Marlene, are you - crying?" he asked, attempting to be sensitive and gentle but unable to keep the slight terror out of his voice. If there was one thing Sirius Black was scared of, it was crying, emotional, drunk 16 year old girls. 

These letters were nothing new. He liked writing out his anger. There was something about using big words to make people feel small that made his day. The whole thing was twisted and sick, the type of father-daughter relationship that any psychiatrist would love to get a handle on. Mr. McKinnon wants nothing more than to move up in life, even if that means stepping on his eldest daughter to get there. Punishing her physically never seemed to work, so he would have to emotionally berate her until whatever fire lived inside of her burned out. Then, and only then, would she behave enough to be worthy of the McKinnon family name. As of right now, she still had a lot of growing up to do. She was just a girl who burned too brightly for her cage. Marlene was never meant to be stuck behind a desk, playing someone’s perfect daughter. It wasn’t in her personality. What Mr. McKinnon didn’t know was that he had broken her long ago. Instead of subduing her personality, turning her into his yes girl, he had made something snap. She was no longer obtainable. She no longer had a chance at being perfect. She would always be beautifully flawed. Again, she read the letter, her eyes only glancing over the parts written in hard ink. Those were the parts he meant. You will never be worthy of someone unless you straighten up. Marriage. He always wanted to marry her off, but no one wanted to link their son to the unruly McKinnon daughter. Your sister has chosen to learn the piano while you galavant around on a broomstick. She was uncivilized in his eyes, and losing the potential to become better at every moment. Do you realize people look at you as nothing more than a common whore? Your mother and I are ashamed. He disgusted and hurt her at the same time. The same scare tactics he used on his business partners in order to get them to hurry up on a deal, or close an account, he was using on her. How could she mean so little to him? By the fourth bottle, she could hardly focus on the words before herself. Instead, she leaned against the window in the Astronomy tower, admiring how far the fall would be. Marlene wasn’t suicidal, but she would love to give her father that sort of scare. How embarrassing would it be to the McKinnon name to have a daughter who hated her father so much that she would throw herself out a tower window? The thought made her grin, but she wouldn’t do that to herself. Marlene had plans before she died. Besides, she had promised James the rocker beside hers when they grew old. Marlene would never break a promise to James. Instead, she sat there, taking another swig, heavy black eyeliner running down the creases in her cheeks. Her sleeve smeared it again, only doing half the job at taking some away. Maybe James would find her, up in the tower alone. She would giggle drunkenly at him and ask him to let her sleep it off in his room. If Lily found her, she would be mad at Marlene for getting so irresponsibly wasted. Then again, she might notice the look in her eyes and realize something was far worse than her destroyed liver. If Mary came, well, they could just drink some more and that would be fine with Marlene.  "A common whore," She repeated to herself, “Well, Daddy, you always taught me to use what assets I could to get ahead in life." Marlene grinned and took another swig.

"Marlene?" He asked warily, taking a step towards her. Marlene could be dangerous when she was drunk, and he wasn't sure if he should take his wand out as a precaution. He wasn't even really sure why he was approaching her. He knew he could just turn around and go back to the dormitory, but it was almost like his instinct to help her. "Er, are you okay?" 

Nope, not happening. I think my head’s due to explode any minute now. This is why I never do homework. Detrimental to my health. 

She squirmed uncomfortably at the question, knowing how many nights she had failed to wait it out. It was a constant repetition to her. Sit in a corner. Read a book. Don’t think about it. Yet, there was always that one clap of thunder that shook the borders of the castle. That one clap of thunder always sent her scrambling, no matter how long she had made it up until that point. “Blimey first years wanted to sit at the tower window and watch the storm. Watch the bloody storm, as if it was a moving picture or some of that. The rats would’ve tattled the moment I stepped foot outside the common room.” Just when Marlene was starting to get comfortable, starting to think that just maybe, the storm wouldn’t get so bad tonight, the storm inside the castle got much worse. She jumped a bloody mile. (A pure exaggeration, of course, but she did nearly fall off the side of the bed.) ”Bloody hell you codger! Don’t you knock?” She squealed, heart pounding inside of her ears. Part of her wanted to smirk and make a joke about sleeping with his best friend, but she didn’t feel funny at the moment. Instead, she felt vulnerable and far too exposed as she pulled the covers closer to her. “Go away!” She yelled, allowing a foot to slip out from under the covers, blinding kicking in the dark for his shin.

As he waited, he looked at all the expressions Sirius’ face was making. itw as quickly moving from rage, to confusion, to what the fuck, and sad, and repeating the process, like he couldn’t make up his mind wht he was feeling.

If Sirius wasn't pissed off then, he was pissed off after James finished talking. "Why am I being fussy? Why am I being -" Sirius broke off, so angry he couldn't even think of what to say. He still didn't know why he was reacting so unreasonably, but he always was a drama queen - it would take at least twenty-four hours until he calmed down. Sirius blatantly ignored James's outstretched hand and continued yelling. "I'm being fussy because maybe I have a problem with a Claw spending so much time in our dorm! She shouldn't even be in here! And if she's apparently sleeping with you so much, why wasn't I told? You just decided to let me wake up in the middle of the night and have the shock of my life? Obviously I'm just nowhere near as important to you as she apparently is!" Sirius shook his head, fighting the urge to punch the wall - or maybe James - to release his anger.

What a gentleman.

Totally worth it, though. Must say.