puzzleroom

basically i am asking for some kindness if you have any to spare in the form of maybe resources like therapy self help or community, and financially if there is any way i can appropriately ask for generosity because my friends and family who didnt give up on me, have run themselves dry to save my life.

when i returned to florida in april on easter by jfk, i was unmedicated. this all basically happened because i am extremely mentally ill and am currently recovering from the worst prolonged psychotic mania ive ever experienced, and i am now on medication and going through court processes. in Florida i had so many struggles with my family and homelessness that i was also arrested and prosecuted on false charges and subjected to state violence and jail time in the month of april. it was horrifying and effacing to the structure of my being and i admitted myself into the psych ward crisis center inpatient next door the day i got out. i spent 12 days in jail in florida for being in psychotic mania.

after jail and crisis centers i spent time alone and i am on probation. i was homeless and sustaining from generosity from strangers. i began to develop worse and worse psychosis without my medication and there are many things i cant remember doing or saying sometimes as i constantly posted videos as proof to myself of what was happening, or a record of what i was thinking. i was not being normal. i was being extremely insane and unsafe and crazy and unwell. i was a danger in the sense that i was about to explode and nobody wanted to have me near them. i was extremely angry. i was bitter and disturbed and annoyed and i started being extremely mean. i feel regret for being the way i was, so now after a long time i am back on medication, a combination for mania, anxiety, depression and schizophrenia. i am still in court resolving prosecution and appearances.

ive been on here posting online since i was 12 years old and i love you guys and i miss being present in my life and online, im sorry i became someone unrecognizable to my loved ones and im sorry i disoriented the peace of the lives of those who trusted me with their emotions because i was angry and could not resolve my own illnesses alone. i could not accept the help which was offered to me and every time i ended up in those institutionalized situations i was disturbed beyond the point of trauma and into the role of caregiver. i am a socialite and a psychological autist and justice revolutionary wannabe schizophrenic moron, i spent 12 days in jail and i helped every single person i could. i took information, i made phone calls, i gave food, i did psychic readings and mediumship with playing cards read as tarot. it was extremely hard. it was sad and disturbing and it is the scariest thing to happen to people. incarceration is fucking insane. i hope it never happens to you. never call or say anything to the police. we live in a police state and if you say you are transgender you will be held in solitary confinement or worse. without food or water a toilet or a bed i spent 3 days alone in nyc over false charges being processed on april fools day. that was after being sent to a general hospital psych ward by the transgender clinic callen lorde in manhattan. it put my life and loved ones at risk.

anyway. i am here now because most recently, i am living at home. i am taking my medication as prescribed. i have meetings with probation in florida, and i am communication with litigation in nyc to arrange a virtual meeting(bad rep/hard judge), and i am following up with my psychiatrist. i was baker acted again by my family in the beginning weeks of may '26, as i walked homeless without shoes on for 30 miles, babbling on my story and concerning everyone who was strategizing for my wellbeing, im not sure how to process all of this.. its the first time ive written it all down. but i hope you guys can trust that this year destroyed me and i am trying to become a better person. i regret almost everything i said and did for a long time now. but i am working on cultivating safe relationships and building a sustainable life for myself. if you guys want to help in a financial way which would go toward things like medications and food, and any surplus will go to transport clothes vapes things like daily quality of life things im missing and go without. im trying to be very frugal and help others out when i can in small ways but keep everything pretty sorted and stable. thank you.

my paypal info is jackietollund@gmail for direct no fees. however my ko-fi for convenience is www.ko-fi.com/sacredmascot. i currently have 0 income. case manager is "trying" to help me get disability at a rate of 1 conversation/week. i have failed to get jobs. i am not able to start a commission queue right now. i really need the support in any way mentionable, whether that is sharing this post, recommending me resources, or talking to me about something you went through thats maybe similar and how you coped. this has been unspeakably difficult for me emotionally and psychologically but also spiritually and mentally. in a just world this stuff doesnt make sense but i must choose to believe its led my higher. i hurt a lot of people and cant take things back what ive done. but i can move forward and just wish for kindness upon them for the rest of their lives without me. thats kind of where im at. im isolated from community and need new friends. thanks for reading and sharing.

my instagram is www.instagram.com/sacredmascot please feel free to message me here anytime i appreciate you here immensely.