I recently ran across a discussion amongst queer and LGBT+ Christians about how to respond to churches finally coming around and being accepting and affirming of same sex relationships and trans people. The prevailing attitude is that these are things to be celebrated, and that as Christians we should always be open to reconciliation. One person said we should look to the parable of the Prodigal Son, and rejoice and embrace our kin.
Something about that just didnât seem right to me.
A few days later news broke that the Church of England voted to âaccept and affirmâ transgender people. Then evangelical leader Eugene Peterson said in an interview âI know a lot of people who are gay and lesbian and they seem to have as good a spiritual life as I doâ and that, were he pastoring still, he would perform a same sex wedding.
Even setting aside that Peterson waited until he was retired from ministry and no longer writing to say this, and that he later retracted his statement when it became clear it would have financial consequences, I kept coming back to the question of how we should respond to those people and institutions which have a change of heart or a change of position.
Should we, in keeping with the parable of the Prodigal Son, throw open our arms and kiss those who come seeking reconciliation?
I donât think it quite lines up.
The story has a child leaving, using up his inheritance, and coming back to his family in humility to find himself welcomed and his return celebrated. Thatâs not what is happening here. The queer Christian community is neither the son who left, nor the father who welcomed him home.
In each proclamation of acceptance, a church or person is saying âThe people we kicked out are now welcome to come back. The ones we didnât want can now come and be one of us. They are welcomed in our church. They can join us.â
But we never left. The church abandoned us.
If the church seeks reconciliation with those it abandoned, it will not find it in grand proclamations of welcome. It will not find it in mere statements of affirmation. The church walked away from us. It does not get to then ask us to come to it. The church left the margins. The church deserted the wilderness. The church left where God dwells. It doesnât get to ask us to follow it now that it will have us.
No, if the church seeks reconciliation, they must not ask us to rejoin them. They must leave their megachurches, their cathedrals, their parishes. If they want to find healing, they must come to us and ask if they can join us. They must say âWe were wrong, please forgive us and welcome us.â They must give up their cishet Jesus, even if they believe he loves us queers, and come to know the queer Jesus that has lived and thrived outside of all that they have done.
The church needs to stop offering welcome and affirmation to those it once excluded, and start asking for welcome from those with whom Jesus dwelt when they turned their back. Only then, only there at the margins, can reconciliation begin.
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