still sick, still here

The fact that I’m not stupid is going to kill me just enough for me to be reborn. Ignoring all the warning signs toward a blazing fire, as you can imagine, never gets you very far.

What I’m learning so far in my twenties is that you have to see things for how it is, and not the ideal way you’d want them to be. Stop wearing rose-coloured glasses for people who only want to see you in black and white. I’m not saying to not give them, whether they’re friends, lovers or family, the benefit of the doubt, but you can physically feel it in your chest when you know they’re crossing a distinct line, one that tells you that it would be better to let them go and let them be. They are not your fire to tame. There’s peace in knowing that a person is not your problem when all they brought you was pain.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow - the kind where you don’t think you can muster up the courage to send it down your throat because you think you’d regurgitate it into a coughing fit. But most times, it’s the antidote to something truly meant for you on the other end. What’s important to know is that you need to lose to gain, and that’s okay.