nothing much, i guess

I made an automaton in the shape od a human from clockwork components and it sees with porcelain eyes and it feels with a cold and metallic touch and the only warmth it knows is when I'm welding it back together every time it falls or breaks itself but soon I'm going to show it how it feels to know love. And after that I'm going to make it understand how it feels to have your heart broken. I'm doing this because I'm crazy and have problems

She turned to me recently after everything was said and done and she caressed my cheek softly, wiping tears from my eyes, and she told me she forgives me. She forgives me and its okay. That she's glad she went through that and that she would have never known what it's like to love if I hadn't, that her body would have never known warmth and her heart would never have the spark I gave her, even if I took it away. And i cried. I cried a lot. Because I never meamt to do any of that. I only created her and did all of that because I wanted to hurt something. I wanted to create something beautiful and then make it feel the pain I know like a lover and I told her all of that and she told me she knows. And that she always knew. And she chose to love me anyways. And she told me she still loves me, even now. And I asked her why. I asked her why she loves me in spite of everything about me that's wrong and she said I was looking at it wrong. She said she didn't love me in spite of what I am. She said she loves me in my totality. For everything and everyone I am, even the me I've grown to loathe completely, and I cried. I cried because I made her and yet she's so much more than I will ever be. She's kind. She's caring. She's compassionate. She loves deeply even when she knows that love will never amount to anything because that's who she is. She's beautiful. And I made her. And I only made her to feel pain, but she feels so much more than that. I wish I was like her. I wish I had what she has. But I know deep down that I never will, and thats because I'm crazy and have problems

Moral Of The Story: I'm Crazy And have Problems

Wait hang on... was I traumatized as a teenager? *thinks about it for a bit* Well I can't remember anything traumatic so it's probably fine.

ever since i was a kid i knew i wanted to be an irredeemable pervert

the fun thing about having a mental health crashout in your thirties is that sure yeah you're crashing out, but at the same time there's a part of you standing across the room smoking ben affleck style, going yeah yeah you're crashing out. you crashed out before you will crash out again can we wrap this up yet. and the most annoying part about it is that they're right, and that that does Not stop you from crashing out even a little. love and light on planet earth.