When the Embers Meet the Tide
Chapter 5: The Feelings We Never Named
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As the rehearsals continued, Zuko found it increasingly difficult to focus.
Standing on opposite sides of the hall meant he was directly facing Katara, and it was...unfortunate. There was nothing wrong with it, really, in fact it is quite the opposite. From where he stood, he could see everything. The slight furrow of her brows whenever she concentrated on bending the water elegantly, how beautiful she smiled when she successfully created what Sokka has been directing her to do, the way her eyes instinctively searched for his whenever it was time to coordinate the fire and water together, oh and how her eyebrows lifted a little whenever they made eye-contact.
Every now and then, their eyes would meet and Katara would smile and Zuko would immediately forget whatever Sokka had just said. He told himself it was only because they needed to stay synchronized. After all, timing was important, he needed to know exactly when she would move the water so he could light each torch at precisely the right moment.
That was all. Completely professional. Entirely necessary....which was probably why he had spent the last several minutes watching Katara instead of listening to a single word Sokka was saying.
Him facing her directly like this kinda gave him an excuse to stare as much as he wants (not that he wants to admit that at all).
It was, well...troubling. Zuko was becoming increasingly aware of just how beautiful Katara was, he had always known she was beautiful, of course. Truthfully, even when they had first met as enemies, there had been a small part of him that thought she was...cute.
Damn it Zuko focus, he scolded mentally himself.
But the more he tried not to look, the more his eyes seemed determined to betray him. As he glanced in her direction once more, he found himself studying the little things. The shades of blue in her outfit complemented her warm brown skin, the morning light caught her hair whenever she turned her head, the concentration on her face as she guided the water through the air with effortless grace, the tiny crease between her brows whenever something didn't go exactly the way she wanted.
Agni…even her nose is cute.
His eyes drifted lower, then to her smile, then...her lips. His brain immediately short-circuited.
He looked away so quickly he nearly gave himself whiplash. What was wrong with him? He used to have such an innocent crush on her. This...this didn't feel nearly as innocent anymore. It wasn't just the way she looked. It was everything. The way she laughed, the way she smiled at him, the way saying his name somehow still made his heart forget what it was supposed to be doing. He had never been this affected by anyone before.
Get yourself together, he silently ordered.
Unfortunately, his heart had apparently decided it was no longer taking orders from the Fire Lord, and it made him too distracted right now.
Thankfully, creating fire had become second nature to him years ago, so despite the fact that ninety percent of his attention was occupied by a certain someone, the torches still lit perfectly, one after another without much effort. But he completely missed the fact that Sokka was asking him something.
"...Zuko?" He blinked. "Hm?" Sokka stared at him. "I asked if you heard anything I just said."
Zuko confidently answered, "...Yes."
Toph immediately snorted. "I don't think Flameo Hotman over there has heard a single word you've said for the last five minutes."
“Why is that becoming my nickname now?” Zuko immediately changed the subject, praying that him being a little distracted was left unnoticed.
“Hey it suits you well, it’s your official title now.” Aang grinned, looking far too proud of himself for creating the nickname for him.
"Absolutely yes," Toph said.
Sokka nodded enthusiastically. "I vote we make everyone in the Fire Nation call you Flameo Hotman."
"I will personally ban all of you from entering the palace."
"Okay, everyone start voting." Sokka clapped his hands together. "I vote yes. Toph votes yes. Aang, the brilliant creator of the name, obviously votes yes."
"I vote yes too!" Suki chimed in before glancing toward Katara with a suspiciously innocent smile. "And you?" Katara blinked. "What?"
Five pairs of eyes turned toward her.
He looked back at her with the most pitiful expression, silently begging, Please don't encourage them. Katara had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing.
Why did that somehow make him even more...
She immediately cut the thought off.
"...I..." Her brain completely abandoned her. "I think..." She cleared her throat. "...it suits you."
Zuko stared at her. Aang's grin grew wider. Toph let out the loudest snort of the afternoon.
Katara's eyes widened. "I-I meant—"
"You heard the lady," Sokka interrupted dramatically. "Motion carried!"
"Flameo Hotman!" Everyone cheered. Katara covered her face with both hands. She peeked through her fingers before glancing toward Zuko, offering him an apologetic, sheepish smile, she quietly mouthed, "Sorry hehe..." Zuko rubbed the back of his neck, trying very hard—and failing—not to smile.
The nickname was embarrassing but somehow, coming from Katara? Maybe it wasnt so bad after all.
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The day was almost finished, the wedding preparations are done, and everyone has retired to their own cabin to rest before the ceremony the following day.
But sleep refused to come for Zuko.
His thoughts kept replaying the afternoon. When rehearsals had ended, he had almost walked over to Katara, just to talk, he told himself. Nothing more. He had even taken a step in her direction, that was until Aang got to her first and asked for her time. And suddenly, it felt like he was slapped by reality, it felt as though someone had poured a bucket of cold water over him, and he was reminded of one fact.
Katara has Aang, they’re in a relationship, and he knew that.
But the realization left a bitter taste in his mouth as he shut his eyes. What am even I doing?
He grimaced, thinking of how for the entire afternoon, he had been stealing glances at her, watching her laugh, smile, thinking about how beautiful she looked.
He groaned quietly and buried his face in his hands.
He was falling for his friend's girlfriend all over again. He called himself pathetic for harboring feelings for years towards Katara. So he stepped back, and deliberately kept his distance. Whenever Katara wandered close, he found an excuse to walk away. Whenever she looked in his direction, he pretended to be occupied with something else.
There’s no denying it now, she still affected him in ways he cannot control. After this wedding, he vowed to himself that he would not get near her again. That he will do anything to finally get rid of these unrequited feelings he had for her in years. That it was time to stop being pathetic once and for all.
There was no denying it anymore, she still affected him in ways he couldn't control. And perhaps...that was exactly why he needed to let her go. After this wedding, he silently promised himself, things would go back to the way they were. He would stop looking for excuses to see her, stop letting himself hope, stop feeding feelings that could never become anything more.
Zuko decided he would stop fighting for a love that had never been his to begin with.
She deserved to be happy. Even if that happiness could never be with him.
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Zuko wasn’t the only one having troubles sleeping that night. After a warm bath and a couple of minutes of restless thoughts, Katara decided to take a late-night walk around the island.
The quiet ocean breeze was supposed to clear her mind. It didn't. Because one thought continued to bother her.
She noticed it of course. After rehearsals, something had changed. The easy conversations, small smiles, the way he had looked at her whenever they practiced together. All of it disappeared. Zuko had started avoiding her and Katara couldn't understand why.
Did something happen? did she say something wrong? had she done something? the questions kept circling in her mind, frustrating her more with every passing minute.
For some reason, Zuko avoiding her made her stomach churn. She was frustrated, she wanted to ask him herself. She wasn't used to this. She was used to Zuko being straightforward with her, even when they were younger, even when they argued, she always knew what he was thinking.
Lost in her thoughts, Katara barely noticed where her feet had taken her. Until she stopped, and as she looked up, her heart sank slightly.
She had not meant to come here, at least, that's what she told herself. She took a small step back, ready to turn around before she did something embarrassing, but then the door creaked open.
Zuko stood there, his expression shifting from surprise to something softer when he recognized her.
She turned awkwardly, suddenly unsure of what to say. Because how exactly was she supposed to explain this?
Hey, I’ve been bothered by how obviously you were avoiding me since this afternoon. So I came here in the middle of the night to get an explanation out of you.
She mentally slapped herself. What am I even doing?
"Uh... chilly night, huh?" Katara immediately regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. Of all the things she could have said...
Before Zuko could even ask anything, she blurted out the question that had been weighing on her mind all day.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Zuko froze. Katara's eyes widened.
Well that definitely came out wrong.
"I mean—" she quickly corrected herself, waving her hands slightly. "I just noticed how you've been avoiding me since earlier, and I was wondering if I did something to offend you." She looked away, suddenly feeling much more nervous than she expected. "Was it the Flameo Hotman vote?"
Zuko blinked. "The what?"
"The nickname!" Katara explained quickly. "Because when I agreed, I wasn't teasing you. Actually, I meant it as a compliment because you are definitely hands—" She stopped. Completely froze. Her eyes widened.
Zuko stared at her as Katara's face immediately heated up. "Okay, you know what?" She took a step back. "I don't even know why I'm explaining myself." Another step, frustration apparent in her voice. "I'm going back now." She declared.
"Sorry for bothering you, I shouldn't have just shown up like this in the middle of the night—" She turned around quickly, ready to escape before she embarrassed herselfany further. But before she could take another step, she felt a gentle tug on her sleeve.
She stopped. Zuko had reached out and caught the edge of her sleeve, and for a moment, neither of them moved. Then Zuko quietly said, "Wait."
She paused when she saw Zuko's face, she couldn't quite read his expression. His brows were slightly furrowed, like he was struggling with what he wanted to say, yet there was a small smile on his lips—one that looked almost sad. And somehow, that confused her even more.
"I’m sorry for making you worry like that." Zuko's voice was quiet. "Yes... I was avoiding you."
Katara blinked. At least he was honest.
But before she could let her thoughts spiral, Zuko immediately continued. "You did not do anything wrong!" The words came out quickly, almost like he needed her to understand that first. "You could never do anything wrong..." His voice trailed off.
I just..." He hesitated, looking away for a moment. "I realized that maybe I was getting too close to you." Her heart skipped slightly. Too close? "What does that mean?"
Zuko immediately regretted how that sounded. He looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. "It means..." He searched for the right words. "I know you're with Aang." The reminder felt heavier than it should have. "And because of that, I felt like maybe I was crossing a line."
Katara stared at him. “Zuko..."
"I didn't want to make things complicated," he continued, his voice softer. "I didn't want to give myself the wrong idea or make you uncomfortable." He finally looked back at her. "We're not kids anymore."
There was a strange sadness in his eyes. They weren't teenagers anymore. They had responsibilities, expectations, lives that belonged to more than just themselves.
What he didn't say was the truth he had been trying to hide all day. That being close to her had reminded him of feelings he had spent years trying to bury. That every smile, every laugh,every moment with her made him forget why he had forced himself to let go. That he was afraid she would notice.
Afraid she would realize that after all these years...he still loved her.
But... I'm not with Aang anymore. The words immediately rose to the surface. She wanted to tell him, she almost did. But she stopped herself, because the truth was... things between her and Aang still felt unfinished. They had broken up, yet somehow, it didn't feel final. Aang was stillwaiting for her, still hoping, believing there was a chance they would find their way back to each other.
So how could she simply tell Zuko they were over? She couldn't...could she? yet the urge remained. She wanted him to know, she needed him to know, and for the life of her, she couldn't understand why.
The words caught in her throat before quietly changing into something else. "...Please don't avoid me." The sentence slipped out so softly that it almost surprised even her. for a brief moment, the night fell silent. Even Katara didn't know why those were the words her heart had chosen, but somehow...they felt far more honest than anything else she could have said.
"Katara, I..." Zuko began, searching for the right words, but none of them seemed enough. Katara watched him struggle, and for some reason seeing him hesitate made something inside her soften.
There were so many thoughts she had kept to herself. About Aang. About the uncertainty she had been carrying for months, the future she no longer recognized. She hadn't told anyone everything, not even Suki, not even her own brother, father, or grandmother. They all seemed so happy for them, so how could she??
Yet somehow...standing here with Zuko, she felt like she could. He had always been unexpectedly easy to talk to. He listened without judging, he never told her what she wanted to hear. He simply listened.
Her mind drifted back to the day he had accompanied her to confront the man who murdered her mother. She remembered the anger that had consumed her, the darkness she had been afraid to admit existed inside her. Most people would have tried to stop her, lecture her, or tell her what the "right" thing to do was.
But Zuko hadn't, he had simply stood beside her. He followed her across the sea, and when she was at her lowest, he never judged her for the rage she carried. He didn't push her toward revenge, and he didn't force her toward forgiveness. He gave her the choice. And when she finally made that choice for herself, he stayed.
That was the thing about Zuko.
When someone was hurting, he didn't always know the perfect words. But somehow, he knew how to be there. Quietly. Steadily. Without asking anything in return. Maybe that was why, even after all these years, he still felt like the safest person in the world to tell the truth to.
And besides...after the wedding, they would return to their own lives again. He would go back to the Fire Nation. She would return to the Southern Water Tribe.
Who knew when—or if—their paths would cross again? Perhaps this was her only chance.
Katara took a slow, steadying breath before looking up at him. "...Can I tell you something?" Zuko met her eyes. Without hesitation, he answered, "Anything."
As they sat side by side on the wooden porch, the quiet sounds of the ocean filled the silence between them.
For a long while, Katara talked and Zuko listened. Not as a man who had spent years loving her in silence, but simply as her old friend. She told him everything. Every thought that had kept her awake at night, every worry she had buried beneath reassuring smiles,the uncertainty she had been too afraid to say aloud.
"I always thought Aang was the one," she admitted quietly, staring out at the moonlit sea. "Everyone seemed so sure of it." She let out a small, humorless laugh. "I was sure too... or at least I thought I was."
Zuko remained silent, allowing her to continue.
"But lately..." she whispered. "I keep asking myself why I can't feel what everyone keeps telling me I'm supposed to feel." Her fingers absentmindedly traced the wooden railing. "When I look at Aang..." She hesitated. "I see my best friend." She smiled sadly. "I see the Avatar." Another pause. "And sometimes..." She looked down at her hands. "I still see the twelve-year-old boy who crashed into our village." Her voice softened. "I spent so many years wanting to protect him... to encourage him... to help him become the person he was meant to be." She swallowed. "I don't think I ever stopped." The realization hurt more every time she said it aloud. "I care about him more than almost anyone."
She closed her eyes. "But I don't think I've ever loved him the way he deserves to be loved." The words hung between them. "I've tried." She laughed weakly. "Spirits know I've tried. But no matter how hard I force it..." She shook her head. "It never changes."
"And that's the part that terrifies me." She drew in a shaky breath. "I know I need to end it. I know it isn't fair to him. But every time I try..." Her voice cracked. "I think about how much it'll hurt him." She looked toward the sea. "And until now he’s waiting for me, he believes I'll come back. And every day that I wait..." She lowered her head. "I feel like I'm giving him hope that I can't return."
Silence settled over the porch. Zuko didn't interrupt. He didn't tell her what she should do, he didn't try to solve the problem for her. He simply listened. Every fear, every doubt, every piece of guilt she had been carrying alone. For years, Zuko had believed Aang and Katara's relationship was everything it appeared to be. Steady. Happy. Certain. He had accepted that they belonged together long ago.
He never imagined that behind those smiles...Katara had been quietly drowning beneath the weight of expectations, guilt, and a love she had spent years trying to force herself to feel.
Zuko remained quiet for a long moment. Te only sound between them was the gentle crashing of waves against the shore.
Finally, he spoke. "I... don't think I can give you any advice…because I feel like... we've been through the same thing."
She tilted her head as she looked at him, urging him to continue. Zuko rested his forearms against his knees. "I know what it's like..." he said quietly, "...to care about someone so much that you convince yourself it'll eventually become the kind of love they're looking for."
Katara's expression softened.
"But sometimes..." he continued, staring out at the sea, "...no matter how much you want it to be true...it just isn't." Silence settled between them once more. Zuko smiled faintly. "So... instead of pretending I have all the answers..." He finally looked at her. "...Can I share something too?"
Katara didn't hesitate, she shifted so she was facing him completely. "Of course." Her smile was gentle. "I've just shared my deepest thoughts with you." She laughed quietly. "I think it's only fair that you get to do the same." A small breeze lifted a few loose strands of her hair. "Anything." Zuko's heart tightened.
He looked out toward the sea, taking a slow breath before speaking. "For years..." he began quietly, "the council has been pressuring me to get married." Katara listened silently. "It isn't surprising." He let out a small, tired laugh. "A Fire Lord without an heir makes a lot of people nervous." Katara smiled sympathetically. "I suppose that's true."
"They've made it very clear that time isn't exactly on my side." He shook his head. "And every meeting somehow ends with the same conversation. When are you getting married? When will the Fire Nation have its next royal family? When will there be an heir?" He sighed. "They all seemed convinced there was an obvious answer."
Katara already knew. "...Mai."
Zuko nodded as he smiled faintly. "I gave it a chance. I really did." His voice held no bitterness. "We cared about each other, and I respect her." He paused. "But somewhere along the way...I realized I wasn't giving her the kind of love she deserved. I never loved her the way a man should love his partner." The words came surprisingly easily. Perhaps because, for the first time, he wasn't saying them to advisers or nobles. He was saying them to someone who simply listened.
"I've always known that marriage for someone like me was never really about love." His eyes drifted toward the stars. "It's about stability. Alliance. The future of the Fire Nation. My duty." He smiled sadly. "And honestly...I accepted that a long time ago."
"But..." Zuko let out a quiet laugh. "But sometimes..." He looked down at his hands. "I wish I could be selfish." The confession hung quietly between them. "I want to marry someone because I love her. I want to come home to someone who makes the palace feel less empty. I want a family built on love. Not obligation, not politics, and not because a council decided she'd make a suitable Fire Lady." His voice grew quieter.
"I know it's unrealistic. I know duty comes first, it always has, and it always will." He smiled to himself. "But every now and then...I let myself wonder what it would have been like."
Silence settled over the porch once more, the ocean answered for neither of them.
After a while, Zuko let out another quiet sigh. "Time keeps moving, and the council isn't wrong. I have to make a decision soon, and I'm terrified that one day..." He looked toward the sea again. "...I'll choose duty...and spend the rest of my life wondering what choosing love would have felt like."
Katara's gaze softened. She had always seen Zuko as someone who had everything under control. Someone steady, a leader who always knew what the right thing to do was.
She had no idea that deep down, behind the strong image of the Fire Lord, was just a man who also seeks love and companionship. A man who, beneath the crown and endless responsibilities, wanted the same thing everyone else did. Someone to come home to, someone to grow old with, someone to love...and to be loved in return. For the first time, Katara realized just how lonely the throne could be. She wondered how many nights he had spent carrying those thoughts alone, smiling through council meetings and royal ceremonies as though none of it weighed on him.
She had no idea what to say. Instead, a quiet laugh escaped her. "Look at us," she said, shaking her head. "Who would've thought we'd end up sitting here in the middle of the night, talking about love like a couple of hopeless romantics?" She joked, trying to lighten up the mood.
Zuko let out a small laugh of his own. "I think 'hopeless' is the important word there." Katara laughed again. "Yeah..."
"We're not exactly good at this, are we?"
Their laughter slowly faded into a comfortable silence. They both knew neither of them could simply tell the other, "Just follow your heart." Because if only it were that easy.
Zuko stared out at the sea, watching the waves disappear into the darkness, somehow...he wished Katara wasn't going through this. For years, he had convinced himself that as long as she was happy, he could accept anything, even if that happiness wasn't with him. He had imagined her with Aang because he believed that was what she wanted. What she deserved. The Avatar and the Water Tribe girl who had saved each other, who had fought side by side, who had changed the world together.
A part of him had always been grateful that she found someone who could make her happy. So hearing the uncertainty in her voice tonight...it hurt. Not because he wanted her relationship to fail or because he wanted to take Aang's place. But because the person he had loved for so many years was carrying so much pain behind the smile she showed everyone.
And more than anything...he wanted her to be happy, truly happy, even if he had no part in it.
Beside him, Katara quietly watched the ocean as well. For the first time in a long while, she felt like she could breathe. She had spent so much time trying to find answers, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do, what everyone expected from her. But tonight, she didn't need answers, she didn't need someone to tell herwhat choice to make, she just needed someone to listen. And somehow, Zuko had become that person. Tonight, she saw a different side to Zuko. A person who understood what it felt like to be trapped between what the world wanted from you...and what your heart wanted for yourself.
And maybe that was why talking to him felt so easy, because for the first time, she didn't feel like she had to pretend.
"Uhm..." Katara glanced up at the sky, realizing how late it had gotten. "I should probably head back now." She slowlyu stood from the porch, brushing off her dress. "I need to get some sleep. I want to be there for Suki tomorrow while she prepares for the wedding." She turned back toward him with a small smile.
"You don't know how much it means to me." She paused, then quickly added, "I mean... this conversation." Her smile turned a little sheepish. "Just being able to say everything out loud. I didn't realize how much I needed that." For a moment, Zuko didn't know what to say, because the truth was...he would have listened to her forever.
He had spent years wanting to be someone she could rely on, someone she trusted, someone she could turn to when the world became too heavy. And tonight, even if it wasn't in the way he secretly wished...she did. "Of course," he finally said. His voice was gentle. "Anytime, Katara."
Those two simple words somehow carried more meaning than he intended.
As Zuko stood from the porch, preparing to say goodnight, his eyes caught something. Her hair. The soft waves that framed her face were still slightly damp, a few strands sticking gently against her skin.
"Your hair is still wet." The concern in his voice made Katara blink. She instinctively reached up, touching the ends of her hair. "Oh." A small smile crossed her face. "I took a shower earlier. I guess I forgot to properly dry it before I went for a walk."
Zuko frowned slightly. "You'll catch a cold." Katara laughed softly. "Me? Catch a cold?" She shook her head. "Zuko, I live in the Southern Water Tribe. I've walked through snowstorms, ice, and freezing waters." A small teasing smile appeared. "I think I'll survive a little damp hair."
Normally, Zuko would have rolled his eyes. Normally, he would have made some sarcastic remark.,
But instead, his expression remained serious. Because to him, it didn't matter. Cold weather. Water Tribe. Years of experience. She was still Katara. And he still worried.
Before she could say anything else, she felt warmth. Katara looked up. Zuko's hand was raised near her hair, not touching her, but close enough that she could feel the gentle heat radiating from his palm. (okay I actually don't know if Zuko could do that but lets pretend he can)
A careful, respectful distance.
Slowly, the warmth moved through her damp hair, drying the strands little by little.
Katara went completely still. The world suddenly felt quieter. She was aware of everything. The warmth of his bending. The soft glow of fire reflecting in his amber eyes. The careful way he kept his distance despite being so close. The fact that even after everything they had talked about tonight… even after he told her he was trying to step back… he was still taking care of her.
And as she looked up to meet his amber eyes, she felt it, the quiet ache, the invisible pull that seemed to be wanting to draw her closer to him. And as Zuko smiled at her once again, a small, genuine smile, her heart skipped.
And suddenly, all the confusion she had carried for days...all the questions, the uncertainty, finally fell into place. Because this wasn't just admiration, or simply just friendship. It wasn't just feeling comfortable around him anymore. It was something deeper. Something she had spent years never allowing herself to question.
Katara took a small step back.
"I..." Her voice failed her. She looked away, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. "I should go."
"I mean—it's late, and I need to wake up early tomorrow to help with the wedding." She was talking too quickly now. "Thank you. For tonight. And... for this."
A small, nervous smile appeared. "Goodnight, Zuko."
Before he could respond, she quickly turned and walked back toward her cabin. Zuko watched her disappear, confused by her sudden escape.
He had no idea that she was running away from him because she had finally stopped running from the truth.
The moment she closed the door behind her, Katara leaned against it, her hand pressed against her chest. Her heartbeat was impossible to ignore.
And for the first time, she allowed herself to finally admit the truth. The one she had been avoiding. The one her heart had known long before she did.
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<- Chapter 4 Chapter 6 ->
i prepared 3 different scenes how katara would finally realize her feelings for zuko, and i ended up taking this route
i wanted it to be a little subtle, the late night conversation of them opening up their own worries, and the close distance between them under the moonlight as zuko cares for her in his way
by the way im writing this note while watching tv and talking to someone i was itching to post this chapter immediately because this one's actually the favorite chapter i've written so far so if there are misspellings in the chap and this note is all over the place forgive me i will post now and proof read later😂
i'll be busy over the weekends so im not sure if i can write the next chapters so just a little sneak peek of where this story will go
main tag is actually angst *evil laugh*, will it be a happy ending? hmm yes and no, will there be smut? no but there will be a spicy/suggestive chapter but im still thinking if i should include it or not
im gonna try to keep this story 10 chapters only because i dont want it to drag too long im afraid if i make it long im not gonna be consistent in posting and most of the stories i make never meets the ending
so yep sorry for rambling thank u again if you're still reading this 🥹
again, any comments thoughts reviews would be most appreciated! if u see any mistakes pls let me know im actually too lazy to proof read right now ;-;
