Soapbox from a Nobody About Disability
**CW descriptions of disability and personal experience. kinda nsfw in a general way.**
firstly these are my own opinions and overall just getting thoughts out. I'm a nobody, a small writer and reader of HDG, been around for a good second. but my words mean dust all for anything. hell after finishing it just felt more like a rant.
I don't even think this may be the best idea to post so we'll see if I even do(I'm going to. though it's sensitive topic for me.) I've just been rubbed wrong for a bit now and I want to write something in response to NOBODY in particular. don't take this personal.
this is in regards to the GlitchyRobo post(and response to it) where she states all florets wear diapers, and clarifies with implant recovery and how high they get. then in a response post explains more in detail the meaning she had behind it.
personally the # underneath is tongue in cheek shitposting, for those that are giving her shit.
and the post itself is a shitpost. that people are reading into too much. Little Sprout content is a little over 7% of all AO3 HDG fics (190/2579) so obviously not a requirement for the setting.
and I also think it's firing a few shots in the neighborhood to keep rent down. to keep the space safe for those who have been living here.
she's also adding personal opinions. yes she wrote the og fic and the Little Sprout one. but there's a reason there are Clerks, Lorets, and Community Gardeners. it's grown outside of herself and she's not the end all be all of "canon." if you don't like it or anything, filter by tags and don't read it or don't include it in your writing.
the thing that has bothered me the most. fundamentally HDG is about and revolves around disability. having your autonomy taken away. not being able to do what you once did. having someone care for you even if you don't want it. all cause you can't function "normally" in society, are a danger to yourself or others, or cannot take care of yourself. wardships and domestication and owners are absolutely just anagrams for conservatorships and institutionalization and parents/caregivers. except this time around it's by someone who truly cares and treats you with (some form of) respect and does stuff you need or want. that it all works out, the big scary monster was a friend all along. happy ending.
disability is not pretty. you sometimes have to be drugged up. I am and it does make the pain better but I also feel stigmatized and not completely here throughout the day. it's nice until it's not, and it doesn't solve all pain. sometimes you have surgeries you don't want to make your life better, and it sucks. which many either have you recovering using a catheter or diaper, it's normal medical stuff in that sense. it all becomes scary even if you take control of some aspect by enjoying it or learning to enjoy it. diapers, yeah sometimes they are needed. whoop de do. yeah there's sensation issues people have, and no it doesn't always feel good even if it's your thing. cause while I have it as a coping method and like it for little space. I don't enjoy waking up from a nap and immediately having to shower. (plus medical diapers for the most part suck and don't feel good and leak). it is humiliating(bad) in many circumstances. you have to ultimately plan around it. sometimes you can't care for yourself, whether being bed bound or having projects around you can't finish cause the pain and fatigue and your bodies inability to do things drains your ability to do it before you even get up. making food becomes a chore you end up skipping. brushing your teeth is something you forget a lot. things fall to the wayside. hanging with people becomes a quarterly thing. leaving your house is a special event. people around you get tired of helping, caregiver burnout. friends stop inviting you. family thinks you're just lazy. sex isn't fun, it hurts, and it hurts me mentally that I cannot. it's something I have to emotionally and physically prepare for. and it in turn falls into place like everything else. the depression, the anxiety, not to mention the neurodivergence. on and on and on and on. it sucks. disability makes you feel like a failure due to you being a failure in the eyes of capitalism. even the systems in place punish you to live on almost nothing for the crime of not being able to generate capital. you don't get support beyond a few happy words of encouragement and 1000 different orgs you might be able to get some help from.
but now it's framed with the Affini. all loving plants who want to care for you. who actually want you around. who likely won't have burn out. who will take care of the things it's hard for you to do. who love you unconditionally. who do the hard things. who organize hangouts with your friends. who brings you places. who keep you feeling nice and drugged in a fun way. who keep you in good health. on and on. it is a fantasy that someone takes care of someone who cannot for themselves. not to mention the parallels of the 70% independent sophonts to 30% domesticated sophonts being the statistic for those who deal with one form of disability or another (undercounted)
it's what I enjoy. it's a fanfic of being able to exist happily given despite everything that's happened. don't get me wrong I enjoy fics that are more surface level fun and happy go lucky. there's nothing wrong with that. but the underlying piece of care being given to a disabled person is there. in so many fics, and in the fandom as a whole.
a lot of the big writers have disabilities of their own, I've talked to quite a few in my time. it's nothing new around here.
also dirt to those moralizing this issue. there's nothing wrong with any of it.
that's all I have to put I guess. I'm. kinda tired for writing this all out. sorry I guess. and thanks if you read this far.
posting this here at request of a cool sophont.
