"She can be smart" they say "if we allow her to be."
"Allow? How does that work?"
"The stims, sedatives... The codephrases too."
But I am smart, when I'm not going to or coming back from a fight. I read big books, it's just that the letters keep moving when I'm tired.
"That doesn't sound ethical..." The voices continue.
"Would you want an intelligent hound? Do you want those murder machines to start thinking about what side to fight for?"
"You have a point here... I've seen it bite through someone's hand."
I touch my muzzle. That was an accident, it was all just too much, they moved too fast, too close to my skin. I was scared they would damage my soft skin.
"Do they really need those books? 'Engineering for Industrial Chemists', 'Fuels and lubricants for mech engineers' I don't think I've seen it read for more than a few seconds."
I do read it... It's just hard to stay focused. The small letters...
"I think it's mostly the pictures, makes them feel smart."
I am smart... I am smart...
I try to read a book 'Clayden's Organic Chemistry' I understand the arrows, the electron movements. I can feel them intuitively. But the words... They're too long. Glycos... Glycosyta... Glucosila... It's like I'm trying to reach something, standing on tip-toes and feeling it with my fingertips. It's almost painful to my mind, I feel so close to understanding... So close
Suddenly she is at the door of my cage. In all her might and beauty.
"I saw on the Vitals that you weren't feeling well." She looked at the book, open, upside down, on the floor.
"You are smart." She susses to me. "Now down."
Her words draw the worries down, and my mind clears. I lay on my belly and she scratches my tummy.
I don't remember why I was grasping, I'm just happy and relaxed. Handler was so much better than anything I could have tried to understand.
She picks the book off the floor, closes it and puts it back on the shelf. "Now, don't worry too much about it anymore, okay?"
As she walks out, I can hear her mumble softly: "One day I'll remove that part as well..."