Love Puppet ☆

Firstly, it is cruel that so many people are damned to die alone. Nobody deserves that. And I think the fact that people get so afraid of it that they freak out and beg and plead. Well it's understandable if course. And obviously I don't think we should just accept things and not try to convince anybody to stop. But I just think it is way more important, and way more impactful, to just be there. To hold that person's hand. Make sure they feel loved at least a little. And I think it is also more impactful especially to people who have things set in motion. Worst case scenario is that you helped them into some peace and made sure that they felt love in the end.

Secondly, so many people see someone dying and then they get scared, and they beg and plead and try to be there and show that person love. But then if they step away from the edge, and suddenly it feels like everything is okay. But they aren't and people forget that too often. Because usually not much if anything has changed. Maybe they aren't at risk of dying, but suddenly all the outpouring of love and care is gone and now they are left potentially even worse than before. And so you cannot base your care off of fear. Because once the fear is gone it is so likely that you will think that things are okay and your work is done, or you just lose any feeling of obligation and so you dont put in any more work, but no. You have to keep loving them. Again and again and again. And if you go in it from fear, you are also going to burn yourself out. Fear is exhausting! And eventually you will get tired and all too often you begin to grieve the person standing right in front of you and even worse you might end up leaving because you cannot take the fear anymore. However, if you go in from an angle of caring about the person, rather than a fear of them dying, your foundation is with their life, not conditional on their imminent death. And if you stay and show that you actually care? That's how you show that person that they aren't alone. You have to love them yestersay and today and tomorrow. Or else nothing changes.

I dunno. I've lived both of these. Two of the girls in my life who I care incredibly deeply about I have based my ideas off of lived experiences with them. With one, had I gone in and just said "no" and "please don't," I don't think things would have turned out this way. Ultimately, we were saved by the bell so to speak, however I also don't think that things quite would have turned out this way if I didn't chose to go in on a basis of caring and understanding. And I also didn't stop one I knew she was safe either. Because it's so important to stick around afterwards as well. The other time was before that even, and I admit I was less thought through and went in with some panic and pleading. But over time I came to change and learn a little more and chose and actively choose to stay because I care about and love it, then and even still now when there isn't much fear of suicide. And not only that, but I also got to watch and see as people who were once there started to go quiet and drop away now that danger wasn't imminent and the obligation was gone. And you know what has happened? Things were getting a bit better. Recovery was actually for once starting. But then people stopped being afraid and so they left, and things honestly kinda got even worse, and frankly I think the only reason it is still here is simply because she just physically cannot go. And I am grateful to that, but also furious at everyone who was only there for the show and left for the aftercare. Because as tiring as it is to be scared, that is still the easy part to do. It is so much more important and rewarding though to stick around after, especially because that is so much harder for the person going through it.