Hey

Actual footage of me throwing up in the bathroom at a party.

How do I delete the internet?

😣😣😣😣

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

LISTEN-

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

father god 

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

How much damage does this do if I hit someone with it

they beat Jesus with that

If santa keeps track of “naughty” kids every “year”, and the year doesn’t start until January 1st, that leaves 6 days after Christmas and New Years left undocumented, so nothing you do can be held against you.

The Purge: Season’s Greetings.

But remember, she landed just fine and so will you.

AAAAAAGH WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG FOR THIS PUN TO CROSS MY PATH?

i pirate movies by reading the synopsis then subconsciously have the movie play out in my dreams when i sleep. untraceable. hollywood can’t stop me.

gay culture is understanding this

I can’t Stop ducking kaughifnbdhdhdhdhdhsBHhshshd

friendly reminder that if youre mean to tigger i WILL pull your whole spine out of you