HARLEQUINNADE

it's her hand on his neck that wakes him up. oh, fear never sleeps, but the scarecrow does, in a gotham tenement that his professor salary (barely) pays for. he stiffens at first, then consciously relaxes when he recognizes his attacker's silhouette against the neon-sign-illuminated night sky. his chin tilts up slightly, allowing her better access to his throat. harley's hand is cold against flushed skin. oh, he recognizes his old coworker, even now that she's changed her sense of style.

"harleen," jonathan says, as pleasantly as he ever does. her lipstick is a violent, delightful shade of red. he'd mistakenly assumed their little rendezvous (in a janitor's closet or an empty classroom or even his office once or twice) would end now that she's publicly declared herself harley quinn, a real gotham supervillain. and the joker's arm candy to boot. (how saccharine, how tooth-crackingly sweet. regurgitated cotton candy on the shoes of a crying child.)

jonathan always sleeps on his back, and harleen is now straddling his chest, one hand around his throat enough to limit his air supply, not enough to prevent him from talking entirely. "i see you found a new tailor," jonathan notes, eyes flicking down from her face to her somewhat cartoonish harlequin's get-up.

her hand sits there like it belongs there and he tilts his chin up, good boy she wants to say but she doesn't wanna piss him off too fast, things are just getting good. and harley can't seem to wipe the smile off her face. her head tilts, the jingle of bells accompanying her movements. she thought she could just shrug this off, she could just shut the door on jon. chapter done and over along with the rest of her past. but he's like a bad splinter.

he frustrates her even now, when she holds his life literally in her gloved hands. she sighs frustrated. "goddamn you're annoyin'." her hand doesn't move, she just applies the tiniest amount of pressure. a little more. "i don't want t'kill ya'. stupid. if i wanted to-" any pretense, any veil lifted. this is the real her, this is her real face. "-you'd be dead already. crow chow." she grins even wider. her hand loosens them, sits up straighter, presses a finger to the tip of his nose.

"all these secret little meetings for how long and ya' still can't figure out what a girl wants, huh? i gotta spell it out for you." her fingers slide into his hair, pulls. to be annoyed, to bait him into doing what she wants. which is to fight back, fall right back into their old routine. she grabs his nose and shakes his head a little, cute. cute little jonathan crane. she wishes he wasn't. that she didn't miss him a little bit.

with harley, he had learned quickly, it was best not to engage with each and every thought that came out of her mouth. there were just so many of them—thoughts and words. it was like walking through a verbal minefield. he could try to step around those mines, parse his way through the inner-workings of her brain, but he might lose a hand, or a leg, or several years off his life. so it was really just better not to say anything at all.

still, he listened. he tried to be polite about it, but he looked confused, then dismayed, then vaguely resigned. it was a sequence of expressions usually reserved for the religiously persecuted. he nodded along anyway, to give her the feeling that he was listening. yup, giant sword. nope, magic grenades. yup, natural blond. yup—

' —a distraction. yes. that's a great idea, ' he said diplomatically. it didn’t even matter that he had been the one to suggest it, not two seconds ago.

a check list forms: cut from the back. sneak onto the ship. take controls. blow up only a little. like one or two things. at maximum.

"got it." she nods, before she bites her tongue in a smile. fist bumps adam on the shoulder. "we make such a great team goldilocks." then she taps him twice. "don'tcha worry i got this. go get 'em, tiger." harley slaps his ass once, like a football couch. "don't fuckit up." she whispers, before she breaks to the side. waiting for him to go in, this shouldn't be too hard. harley is great at stealth. practically a genius. she doesn't have anything that jingles this time around so that makes it just that little bit easier. elasticity working to her advantage as she flips and twirls her way around them to the ship.