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that river

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i can’t stop repeating that tiktok audio where it’s like “CAN I GET A DICK N CHEDDAR SANDWICH EXTRA DICK N CHEDDAR HOLD THE CHEDDAR JUST GIMME THE DICK!!!!!!!” please does anyone know what i’m talking about

#IM WILDING??????#everyone who knows me personally is struggling #dick n cheddar sandwich #shitposting #shitpost

i’ve been to the beach twice already this summer but you don’t get it. i Need. to Go Back. to the waterrr ❤️

#beach #yearning #shitpost

i am obsessed with this image oh my god. he’s. he in the corn 🌽 he love 🌽 the corn he is dressed as 🌽 his favorite thing 🌽 corn 🌽 oh my god

#i’m printing out this photo and framing it on my wall as soon as i get home #calico critter #sylvanian families #corn #cute #obsessed #adorable #shitpost #shitposting

just jolted awake from a dream where i told a mcdonald’s worker that i wanted “a drango magon fruit slut” instead of a mango dragon fruit slush

#misspeaking #shitpost #shitposting #dream #nightmare

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last night i took a benadryl to help me sleep and turned on a jerma vod to watch while waiting for it to kick in. after like an hour i heard something outside and, in my very sleepy and kind of drugged state of mind, started giggling thinking “haha what if it was like jerma digging around in my trash like a raccoon or something.” i looked out my window and there was genuinely the biggest black bear i’ve ever seen knocking over all three of my garbage cans and dragging literally all of my trash out into my yard. i was literally looking out my window like this

#it was not jerma unfortunately #being on benadryl did not help me know what to do in that situation #jerma #jerma985 #benadryl #bear #black bear #shitposting

bunniecain

everyday i log onto tumblr dot com and post bullshit nothing burger

threedollarsdotcom

theye turning our beautiful untamped jungle into a beautifuler parking lot connected to an office complex so that miserable whelps can withdraw 81 dollars to buy a single five guys burger

my MOM won’t stop FEEDING my CAT from the TABLE!!! she taught him how to BEG like a DOG!!! yesterday she gave him CHEETOS and STRAWBERRY ICING!!!!!!! she’s making my son FAT, MALNOURISHED, and DISRESPECTFUL!!!!!!!!

#WHERE are his MANNERS #she TOOK THEM FROM HIM #ARGH #cat #shitposting #stupid

crabussy

let's capitalise the first letter of random words.... Forever

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when you take a nap they up the cozy levels of bed by 15x more than when you normal sleep at night

#so much cozier #why do they do this #shitposting

i just subscribed to the Just Roll With It patreon but my card is still linked to my parents account and i swear to god if they ask what it is and i have to explain to them what dungeons and dragons is.

#yeah mom they basically like play pretend and like roll dice to see if what they come up with works #yeah i’m just watching them play together. no it’s just like a podcast thing im not involved at all #yeah they just film themselves playing a bored game basically #yeah and i pay to watch it #loser activities #jrwi #unwitness protection program #just roll with it #fuck wait i spelled board wrong #ingnore that i don’t want to retype everything

everytime i eat an avocado i think about how they were sylvia plaths favorite fruit

#i don’t know if they’re actually a fruit but that’s what she said #sylvia plath #avocado

list of like minorly of weird shit that probably could be nothing that’s happened to me recently while walking in the appalachian woods at night:

• headphones fully turned off and disconnected from my phone. twice. this only ever happened while in the woods never any other time

• phone fully turned off. like fully shut down. also had never done that before and hasn’t since.

• heard the most eerie uncanny cat meow ive ever heard in the woods. got scared because my actual cat was outside and i thought he might be hurt. go out and check and my cat was over there but was completely fine. but like that was not a noise i’ve ever heard my cat make. like weird unnatural cat meow.

• everything outside lit up for just a split second exactly like lightning had just struck. it’s a completely clear sky. check the weather and it’s supposed to be clear literally all night. happened 3 times. and i’m no where near any other source of light that could be causing it.

• saw the light from a single flashlight far back in the woods on our property. no one but me and my mom were home and my mom was inside. we literally live in the middle of the woods, and to even get NEAR our property, without hiking through a whole mountain, you’d have to cross a creek. we drive down to where the flashlight was and no one is there. zero trace of anybody.

#i know i’m dumb as fuck for walking in the appalachian woods at night #and this is all probably explainable but idk #kinda weird either way #appalachia #appalachian mountains #scary #creepy

dude i genuinely eat like a nyc raccoon

breakfast? 2 week old shrimp alfredo leftovers, cold, straight outta the fridge. dr pepper.

lunch? more of the same leftovers. lukewarm because i didn’t put it back in the fridge after i had it for breakfast. dr pepper. a third of a party sized bag of stale plain lays chips.

dinner? a fourth of a cup of lemon frosting. eaten straight out of the container with a spoon. full sleeve of plain crackers. another dr pepper. 6 packs of fruit snacks.

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i can’t get over just how incredibly green the green broadbill is. look at this guy. that’s like so green.

#he is green because he can be placed there #green broadbill #bird #birds #birding #green

i just got to see a belted kingfisher AND a louisiana waterthrush!!!!! both in my yard!!!!!!!!!! yes!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

#i hear the waterthrush all the time but this was my first time seeing one #two new lifers #birding #yippee #yay #wahoo #never kill yourself

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