Office of the Public Offender, Part II: DA Edition

When the Defendant is guilty af, but the defense attorney has to come up with some kind of defense:

It’s time we allow for equal representation in Hollywood! Equal rights for all!

Mind Reading: Juries

When a leftist tries to disagree with me

Watching the Sovereign Citizen talk to the Court.

When I spot a wrongdoer

When I buy wine to drink alone after a long day in court.

Whenever I open a new casefile involving someone taking benzos

When Defendant’s mom keeps calling me 10+ times per day, despite me ignoring all of her voicemails

When a Defendant threatens to kill you, but you’re already dead inside.

Whenever I zone out during court and the judge repeatedly says my name to get my attention

Whenever I imagine the post-apocalyptic wasteland brought about by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s dumbass, uninformed, willingly-ignorant, policies.

Literally said this to an idiot Defendant during cross examination.

Non-lawyers who voice their opinions about the Constitution on Facebook.

When someone violates their probation.