LlFE OF A ANTISOCIAL FANGIRL

They’re so sweet and docile, listening to his every word and obediently taking their medicine, looking up at Bruce with watery red eyes and awaiting praise

The only thing they request is Bruce’s attention and lots and lots of cuddles

He doesn’t know it, but that’s only for Bruce. Being sick is just an excuse to act sweet to him without getting embarrassed

Bruce had to go to a meeting at the company for a bit, and called Clark to come take care of his kids. He went over what meds to take at what time and who likes what blanket, but other than that, there wasn’t really any briefing. He didn't think he had any reason to

To this day, Clark talks about that time as if he were fighting Darkside himself

Dick wouldn’t sit down for anything. No matter what Clark bribed him with, the moment he turned his back, Dick was up and moving, despite having thrown up five seconds ago. He was also bothering everyone and talking over whatever show or movie all the kids had finally agreed upon. He was trying to land a flip while also doing his best not to throw up. It did not work. Clark almost threw up cleaning it before throwing a blanket over him when he finally collapsed

Jason wouldn’t even look at Clark. And anytime he did it was with utter disgust that truly hurt Clark’s feelings, even if the younger man was sniffling with a bright red nose. He's always been standoffish with Clark since he was a kid, but Clark thought he got over his jealousy after he explained he wasn't trying to steal Bruce's attention. He has not, he's just good at hiding it. Clark threw a blanket over him and decided to deal with it later

Cassandra lunged at him the moment he tried to put a cold compress on her forehead. He wasn't expecting it, so he barely dodged, even with his superspeed. She let out a low growl, and Clark seriously didn't know what to do with that kind of hostility. He kinda just threw a blanket over her and hoped for the best while she dozed off in Bruce’s favorite chair. He didn't dare disturb her unless it was time for her to take her medicine

Tim turned the brightness of all his devices to the max, even though it made him dizzy and gag, because he claimed he couldn’t see through his watery eyes. It didn’t help that he had to be kept separate from his other siblings so he didn’t get worse. He kept trying to sneak off to be with everyone, and Clark couldn’t let him, but he got so sad thinking about it, so he divided the living room where they were all staying in half with pillows, so Tim could still be in the room but not too close to anyone. He then threw a blanket over him and moved his devices away

Steph, on the other hand, was trying to sneak over to see Tim, which was bad. Logically, he knew they all understood Tim was vulnerable, but being sick seemed to devolve their thinking processes. She also continued asking for food, and when Clark brought it over, she’d gag and push it away. She then asked Clark to make something, and when he presented it to her, she gagged so hard she threw up, so Clark also threw a blanket over her head

Duke, while the calmest, was not easy to handle either. He would just stare. Clark expected that from any other child under Bruce’s wing, but not Duke. Duke would turn himself invisible to stare at Clark, but Clark got goosebumps all over his skin nonetheless. Super hearing can only do so much when the person sneaking around you is trained by Batman himself. He threw a blanket over Duke and prayed he didn't remove it

Damian insisted on having all his pets near him at all times, then got scared his sickness would transfer over to them and cried so hard he threw up. Clark deposited him in Cassandra’s lap after cleaning him up, just so he could have some comfort, and gave him his phone so he could watch all the videos he wanted of the cows on the farm. He then threw an animal print blanket over him

And all of them, yes, all, would randomly burst into tears and call out for Bruce. Each time, he would have to deliver the devastating news that he still wasn’t back, then be subjected to all seven glares, which was a lot to handle. He wanted to fly into the attic and hide, but he promised Bruce he would try his best, and he was bound by moral obligation

Yes, Clark tries to appeal to the masses and children by wearing bright colors, but he’s never claimed to be good at handling children. In fact, his parents would say he’s the opposite

He can handle it for short amounts of time, but carrying them and having to interact with them for an extended period of time? Fuck no. He's never had to clean up or make throw up as in that moment. He will not do it again

When Bruce comes back, all his kids are absolute angels again, if not a little more pushy, so they can cling to him without Clark being there. They whine and tug Bruce into the living room so they can pile on top of him (Tim has a mask on) and bury him under their combined weight

Bruce: what's this.

Dick: a gift :D

Bruce: (unfortunately loves it)

Dick: :D

Bruce: hn.

It's cute, but you know it's civil war when the others see Bruce wearing it.

Jason: what is that abomination?!

Bruce: a shirt.

Tim: why are you wearing it????

Bruce: it's comfy.

Damian: it's hideous.

Bruce: it's not?

Cass: I think it's cute

Bruce: thank you.

Jason: Dickhead gave it to you.

Bruce: yes.

Dick: :D

Jason: favoritism!!!

Bruce: I don't have favorites.

Tim: favoritism!!!!

Bruce: it's not.

Damian: favoritism!!!!

Bruce: you know what, you're giving me grief.

Bruce: Dick and Cass and Duke are my favorites for the day.

Dick, Cass, Duke: :D

The others: (screech and tackle)

He has Damian, but maybe Damian was older when he met Bruce. A teenager. Already pretty set in his ways as far as how he fights in the field, because the LoA was unforgiving in how it taught its students. He and Bruce clashed from the beginning because of it. They aren’t particularly close.

But then when Haly’s Circus does eventually make its way to Gotham and the Flying Graysons fall, he still adopts Dick. Because of course he does. He sees this little boy and sees so much of himself in him, more than he sees in even his own biological child.

And Dick still becomes Robin. Maybe he’s still the first child sidekick, because without Batman starting the trend, the other heroes aren’t as confident in letting their assortment of children helping them out.

And this world is so very different because of how much later Dick is introduced.

Maybe Bruce still ends up lost in time, and Damian ends up taking over custody of his father’s adopted son.

He wants to hate Dick. He hasn’t actually had any meaningful interaction with the boy yet, but now Bruce is dead, and Damian sees this little boy grieving a second father after just a year or so of losing his parents. He sees how broken this child should be, but how stoic he’s being. He’s putting in a brave face. He’s refusing to cry.

And that twists at Damian’s heart. Because despite not being particularly close with his father, they did keep in regular contact. And Bruce was constantly gushing another Dick, about how lively he is, how animated he is, how Damian would probably get along with him if he stopped by the manor and gave him a chance. How Dick wants so badly to meet his big brother.

When Damian brings Dick back to the Penthouse with him, the child is still stone faced. He hardly makes a sound. He locks himself in the room Damian tells him is his, and he doesn’t come out unless prompted.

But Dick never unpacks his bags. He never makes his room look a little more personal. He doesn’t do anything to make the Penthouse his home.

When Damian asks him about it, Dick just stares at him, his face still blank.

“You don’t want me,” he tells Damian. “Bruce wanted me. But now he’s gone too. So I’m waiting for you to get rid of me.”

And Damian realizes how much he’s fucked up, how he shouldn’t have left an eight year old alone to grieve by himself.

“I’m not getting rid of you,” Damian promises him. “You’re my brother.”

“You don’t want to be my brother,” Dick says, sounding so sure of himself. “You don’t know me.”

Damian decides to make more an effort after that. To make sure Dick knows he wants him around.

Bruce ends up coming back, of course. And he’s just happy both his boys are getting along.

Idk the point I was trying to make I was gonna have it be a dimension hopping scenario where the regular batfam meets them but idk what would happen. Maybe it’s while Bruce is still thought to be dead, and so they’re extra confused about why the whole family is just Damian and Dick. Maybe that’s how they get Bruce back though.

In this alternate universe, Dick fell with the rest of the Flying Graysons. Bruce never had the chance to adopt him, it never even crossed his mind, because it was never even a possibility.

Having a child is something he never knew he was missing. He’s still friendly with Superman and Wonder Woman and he’s in the Justice League, but he’s more closed off. He doesn’t open up as much as he would have if he had a brightly colored little Robin at his side.

So when this terrified and frantic child appears in his cave one night after patrol, he doesn’t really know what to do.

“I have to go back!” Dick shouts at him, and he’s breathing heavily, he’s panicking. “I have to go back, I have to help him!”

“Alright, alright,” Bruce tries to calm him down. “Where did you come from?”

Bruce keeps trying to grab hold of him to keep him still and calm him down, but Dick keeps squirming away.

“I need to go home!” he cries. “Stop! Stop, I need to go home! You’re not my Bruce!”

Bruce freezes, because he’s still in his batsuit. He still has the cowl on. There’s no way this child should know who he is.

It takes a while, but he eventually figures out what’s going on. Once Dick calms down. Once Dick explains that his Bruce sent him away. That his Bruce came back from a mission with the JL, and he was hurt, he was hurt so so badly, and the world around them was crumbling. He wouldn’t let Dick help him. He grabbed a bag and gave it to Dick and sent him away.

This Bruce has no idea what to do. He has a distraught, panicking child in his cave. He can’t send him back to the world he just came from. What is he supposed to do with him?

He brings Dick upstairs to the manor and gives him a room. Well, Dick picks the room. He says it’s his. Bruce doesn’t argue.

Later that night, as he broods in the cave, he receives a transmission from the Bruce who sent Dick here. It’s a video explaining why he picked this universe, why he picked this Bruce. He pleads for him to take care of Dick. To keep him safe. He explains what’s going on in his universe, how it’s not going to survive much longer.

“You’ll love him, I promise you will,” this other Bruce tells him. “He’s the best kid from any universe. He deserves the best. He deserves to live. I know you’ll do right by him.”

And, well, shit. Now he’s gonna have to keep the kid. He just needs to figure out how to go about it from a legal standpoint. He can’t just say the kid appeared in his basement.

Maybe he’ll say Dick is the product of some fling from a decade ago. That’s plausible. That could work.

“The only thing that I have holding me back right now is that I have self respect and dignity.”

The heroes around him are gawking at the news of Red Hood showing up somewhere with a duffel bag full of severed heads.

Does Bruce completely ignore everyone else in favor of his baby who has become a baby again? Obviously.

But imagine de-aged Dick being genuinely upset about his room being given to another boy. And he throws a total fit and is basically having a tantrum until he just stands there crying to Bruce about how he doesn’t want him anymore and he got rid of all his things and it’s not fair and why would Bruce do that to him?

Bruce is so frazzled, and he’s now worried that normal-aged Dick also thinks all this stuff but just hasn’t said anything.

So he spends the entire time Dick is de-aged spoiling him and doting on him and proving to him that he still loves him of course he still loves him he’s his baby he’s his little boy he’ll always love him.

I’m becoming obsessed with them being actual Wonder Twins I love them so much ❤️

But like what if the two of them are actually the older siblings of Clark, Diana, and Bruce in this au?

What if they both separately realize that they’re their baby siblings, but now they’re all grown up, and they think they won’t want anything to do with them or that they’ll be mad at them for getting to Earth late and not taking care of them, so they keep their own Kryptonian-ness a secret.

Dick and Donna haven’t met yet on Earth, their pods landed far off from each other (they were 4 - they’d been stuck in the Phantom Zone). Robin and Wonder Girl haven’t met yet. They’ve both separately been told about the others being triplets, but for whatever reason, Bruce and Diana just haven’t gotten around to introducing their protégés to each other yet.

So when they’re finally introduced to each other when they’re 9 or 10, they both freeze. Their Kryptonian powers are starting to develop now, and so when they finally recognize each other, they literally fly at each other.

“Dal-El!”

“Dana!”

They’re hugging each other so tight and speaking to each other so quickly in Kryptonian and they’re both crying a little bit because they each thought their twin was dead, or still stuck in the Phantom Zone, or lost in space forever, but now they’re reunited and they missed each other so so much.

Then Donna leans back and grabs Dick’s face to squeeze his cheeks between her hands, asking in a huffy tone, “Dal-El, where have you been?”

So Dick huffs right back and holds her face exactly the same way, asking, “Dana Jor-El, where have you been?”

They’re about to start bickering back and forth until their respective mentors pick them up to drag them apart, Bruce holding Dick out like a sack of potatoes and Diana pacing Donna in front of her.

“Dal-El?” Bruce questions. “As in the House of El?”

And Dick sends a smile to Bruce, and it’s both hopeful and nervous and a little bratty.

“Oh yeah so there was something I was gonna tell you,” Dick says, letting out a nervous laugh.

“Dana Jor-El?” Diana says to Donna. “As in Jor-El our father?”

“Sooo I meant to tell you something,” Donna says, smiling sweetly and holding her hands behind her back and kicking her foot around.

“Dick, what the hell is going on?”

Dick pouts and wags a finger in Bruce’s face while saying, “That’s no way to speak to your elders!”

Meanwhile Clark is in the background trying to figure out when the hell the twin older siblings he once heard their hologram parents talking about landed on Earth, and how he didn’t notice it. Or how any of them didn’t notice it.

“Let me down, let me down,” Dick whines and kicks his feet around after a few minutes of Bruce remaining frozen and confused. “I haven’t seen her in forever, let me down!”

“It’s time to go home, chum,” Bruce tries to say, trying to hold Dick’s arm to coax him back.

“No!”

“We’ve really gotta get home, Dick.”

“No! I need to stay!”

“Dick–”

“NO!”

Bruce had tried grabbing Dick’s arm to tug him back, but when Dick turned to yell no at him, he shot lasers from his eyes. For the first time ever. It narrowly missed hitting Bruce’s face (none of them are sure if it would’ve done any actual damage).

But it freaks both Dick and Donna out, because they haven’t really developed their full Kryptonian powers yet. Donna has had a bit more time with the super strength and the flying, but Dick literally just flew for the first time today. And now he has lasers coming out of his eyes.

And he just met his twin sister for the first time in many, many years. And had a tearful, emotional reunion with her. And had to admit to his big baby brother that he’s actually his big brother.

It’s been a very emotional day for Dick and Donna both. And a bit scary. It’s very overwhelming for a couple 9-10 year olds.

So when Dick gets upset and looks like he might burst into tears at the drop of a hat, Bruce rushes to console him. He’s had this kid for like a year or so now, he thinks he’s fairly good at the dad thing, but when Dick actually starts crying and is actually upset, it always freaks Bruce out. He has no idea how to handle it without just promising Dick anything he wants.

“Can’t we have a sleepover?” Dick whines.

“Of course we can have a sleepover,” Bruce agrees immediately. “Why don’t we all have a sleepover at the manor? All five of us!”

“I actually have work in the mor–”

“I said all five of us, Clark!” Bruce snaps, sending a threatening smile Clark’s way.

“Great!” Dick perks up, standing up and dragging Donna towards the zeta tubes to head to the Batcave. “I’m gonna show Dana all my Legos!”

When they’re a few steps away, Dick leans close to her ear and whispers, “He does whatever I want if I start to cry.”

Clark snorts and smirks at Bruce, who’s very purposely not making eye contact with either him or Diana.

“He’s totally playing you, you know.”

I had a thought of wonder twins being Zod’s kids and the trinity being triplets

They don’t tell anyone that Zod is their dad. They don’t see any reason to, he hasn’t shown up yet perhaps. And they don’t want anyone treating them differently if they find out their entire House got sentenced to the Phantom Zone because of their father.

So when Zod shows up and eventually gets captured by Clark and brought to the Watchtower for questioning, Nightwing and Troia are there. And Zod sees them. And recognizes them immediately (maybe they look exactly like his wife or like him idk).

And Zod gets furious, thinking these El brats must have captured his children.

“What have you done to my kids?”

“Kids?”

“MY TWINS!”

All heads turn to Dick and Donna, who are trying to slink away unnoticed.

“This man is your father?” Bruce asks.

“Oh hey so by the way, that’s our dad,” Dick says, a smile on his face as Bruce grabs his arm to drag him back. That pisses Zod off. “Did we never tell you our whole Kryptonian names? Oopsie-daisy, must’ve slipped our minds. So I’m Dor-Zod, and she’s Adora Dru-Zod.”

“And your father is a Kryptonian criminal?” Diana asks.

“A war criminal, at that?” Bruce clarifies.

“Allegedly,” Donna pipes up.

“Yeah, allegedly,” Dick says, nodding.

“…that’s kind of why we were stuck in the Phantom Zone for so long?” Donna says, laughing nervously.

Everyone wants to know what that means, and she and Dick are so exasperated.

“It’s just, you know,” Dick says, creeping closer to Donna. “We were kinda born there? Not on Krypton?”

“Oh hey look at the time, don’t we have that thing to get to?” Donna asks, looking at her bare wrist.

“Oh yeah, the thing! Sorry gotta go bye!” Dick says quickly, and the two of them skedaddle off the Watchtower.