Happiness is a warm gun

kira actually is a pretty funny villain. like he's a serial killer who has been extremely inconspicuous so he doesn't get caught, right. he's doing this for like a decade. and then one day, some teenage kid walks up to him and is like "ayo your vibe is fuckin whack man. i'm gonna have to shoot you now" and he does, and so kira gets shot fatally, but then he wakes up and is fine... and also a giant pink cat guy follows him around and is a bomb?

when you see cute Pokemon merchandise and you want it but it’s ridiculously expensive

we should thank god super powers aint real

When you throw out the packaging of a microwave dinner and immediately forget how long to microwave it for