“My neighbor was arrested by the FBI for being a cannibal.”
“Guess what, I might be a cannibal.”
“He was quiet… but he was so hungry!”
“The FBI shows up at six AM and arrests my neighbor, and we have! Not! Spoken! Since!”
“I’ve lived a full life, there’s many stories.”
“A mandolin and something else… but what?”
“I… really want that to be a lie…”
“I don’t say daddy’s gone, that upsets people.”
“I… have been traveling a lot and that’s why I don’t know my articles, or pronouns.”
“Everyone in my life warned me against that.”
“People like vanity.”
“I had a bit of a nervous breakdown while I was at the farm.”
“I’m feeling just sort of existentially insane.”
“These are dinosaurs, get out of here right now!”
“Those geese weren’t messing around!”
“You know, how you say that to your wife.”
“Yeah! My brother was attacked by a swan!”
“You expect more of a swan ‘cause it’s more cosmopolitan!”
“And as soon as I said ‘what is that’ some voice in me that warned me about the geese went ‘you know it’s a ghost!’”
“Imagine for a moment that a green orb appears on your dog in a photo…”
“You can imagine how you’d leap to ghost.”
“So I felt… that I had it coming, in some way. A haunting of sorts!”
“I didn’t wanna say too loud what my plan was, in case the ghosts were listening.”
“People were rooting for me to faint!”
“I was this little freckle-faced puffy little hungover monster.”
“You can’t marry everyone who’s nice.”
“And then you’re asked to reject Satan, just as high school is beginning when you need him the most!”
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titsay
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2087
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