embarrassment has good bones
When everything is embarrassing, thatâs a sign that your passion is waking up, and it wants more. Your desire is a tender sprout that wants more water, more sunshine. It wants you to give up on SEEMING happy and in control and to start FEELING joy instead, even when it feels a little too big, even when it makes you cry, even when it forces you to question where you are and why.
Passion and desire and shame and sadness donât signal that you have to change everything immediately, though. These are sensations that donât require solutions. Your primary job, in the face of renewed lust for life, is to tolerate the shame of joy.
Because embarrassment is sometimes just a sign that youâve never lived out in the open before, youâve never cared more about a feeling than you care about how youâre coming across, youâve never prioritized happiness over control.
This is why itâs good to take risks that might embarrass you regularly. Because every time you dare to embarrass yourself for the sake of who you are, youâre teaching your body to prioritize joy. Youâre teaching yourself to let go of seeming better than the things you love. Youâre showing yourself how to feel where you are â to soak in the cool fall air, to breathe in the moon, to love every lopsided moment of your glorious, flawed life.
Shame is a Side Effect of Desire, Heather Havrilesky
I Worried, Mary Oliver

















