protectedhope.

@ezerkenegdc || random inbox?? ||  “can you hear my voice?”

Gray can feel everything about this place seeping into his bones. They came here to make things good. Came here to do what they did everywhere else. Spread hope. Give people a fighting chance. Build something new out of the wreckage with their own hands. All that’s ruined. Everyone is dead. He can’t find Rush anywhere. Every lead turns up ghosts. Nothing more. Then it’s like a god damn jigsaw puzzle trying to get to the next place. Always two minutes, too late. And now?  Nothing feels real.

Breathing in deep again, his brain refuses to clear. Only gets worse. He’s slouched against two walls, rubbing at his nose and the inside corners of his eyes. His insides twist and he lets his head rest back into the corner he’s sat himself in trying to make heads or tails of what the hell is happening. Eyes close. Heavy limbs sink into a warm numb. Even when his eyelids swing open and the world pulses back to life? All he does is mumble about getting his shit together. In a minute. Sleep’s not a luxury he’s had in days.  Darkness comes and he lets it ease him into rest. Another breath and the soft, dizzying lulls him the rest of the way away.

when dixon assaults me with memes from ALL her characters 

// hey loves! looking to get this guy a few plots here and there. if you’re interested! i’d love to toss ideas around. in any time frame would be great! his bio is linked on his page but i’m free to answer any questions or even toss a link to you if you need! mundane plots welcome where the apocalypse hasn’t happened! far cry 5 subplots of when he was younger, heck yes! twd? i gotchu! new dawn main plotline? i got dat, too! 

The tips of his fingers are numb from where they had been curled into the bark of the log the judge had all but collapsed on; though it isn’t long until one of his hands move up to remove the mask, quickly followed by his other hand as he presses his head in his hands, fingers curling into short hair as he feels the sobs that he had been trying to fight back finally escape.

The father was dead. One more person that had left him in this world.(Staci, Joey, Whitehorse, Eli, Paul, Joseph, who was next?) God must have really made his life into some sick joke leaving him alone for the second time. What would he do now? He knows what he had promised Joseph, that should anything happen he would make it his life duty to protect the Captain just as he would The Father, just as he’s done for Ethan. This time however he  isn’t sure if he’d be able to go through with his promise.

He wanted to be released too.

There’s movement beside him that the judge pays no attention too, though once an arm wraps around his shaking shoulders and pulls him more something closer to an embrace, he’s tempted to push Grayson away, or take his gun from his hip and use it on himself finally; though he simply wraps his fingers around the arm that had been draped across his shoulders. He would ask the man later if he could be released as well. For now, he’ll allow himself to be comforted. After all.

Who else did he have?

Grayson’s hand is shaking when he uses it to palm over his face. There’s nothing that is going to get the feeling of how that gun felt going off in the other one that’s still clutching it like he might just start pulling the trigger until there’s no bullets left. His nostrils fill with the smell of blood, dirt and sweat. A smell that seems to permeate the entire county if you inhale hard enough. He’ll never get it out of his head.

A few backwards steps and he hears it. The collapse of the Judge and he turns to see him fold down. Sobbing. The Judge is sobbing and Grayson’s stomach drops. Things were never supposed to go this way. They were here to help people. That was their only intention. To help. Now? Everyone is gone. Rush. The Father. Everyone except those who helped get them here (and some of them are lost) and the two of them. Though here? It feels as if they are the only ones alive. The only ones who survived...just the two of them.

The log is solid and feels good when he sits down heavily next to the Judge. All he can think to do is drape an arm across his back. They both lost who they loved. Yet, they’re still here. Fingers curl around his arm and he covers them with his free hand. A thumb traces circles over the Judge’s knuckles. “I’m sorry.. Even of those words sound hollow.” He means them.  Without thought or hesitation, his forehead meets the side of the Judge’s head. Grayson closes his eyes and they sit in silence as everything catches up all at once. Tears fall and he pays them no mind as his lungs give you. 

getting recruited to Rush’s band of soldiers has given him purpose. something to latch onto a bit of hope. because the highway men have taken the collapse as their own and for joseph to have been right about the entire thing to begin with? its unacceptable for what they’ve done. he signed up, wanting to help make this world a better place in joseph’s absence. his only brother gone and he knows not where, but this is what he can do in the meantime. if his brother isn’t in New Eden then there is no reason for him to be there.

finding gray though.... that was unexpected. the captain of security is strong and capable. and one he’s fallen madly in love with but they have their orders. one goes one way and the other goes another. no way around the process but their goodbyes are something to look forward to. “don’t you dare think of dying out there. i’ll find someway to bring you back to so i can kill you again.” 

its a tease because they are both very capable. but all grayson answers with is hands over paul’s cheeks and bends to kiss him softly. it only takes a second to get heated since they both understand the consequences if something were to go wrong. 

Think of dying? Gray can’t compute the two together because there isn’t an option for that. Not with all there’s on the table. Finding his mentor. Finding the one person who has sacrificed so much in the name of bringing people hope and rebuilding from a world that’s taken years to heal itself. There’s more than that now, though. Isn’t there? There’s Paul to consider. Paul who embodies that same hope that Rush fosters in every person he meets with his guidance and want to help. 

Finding two people who only want the good in the world and having either one come to harm because he decided to do something stupid that got him killed? Not an option. He seals the promise he doesn’t need words to make with a small smile and then something else.