Remember when Jeff Bezos, who is worth 181 billion USD donated 690k to stopping Australian fires? Yeah, me too.

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@prose-poetry
Remember when Jeff Bezos, who is worth 181 billion USD donated 690k to stopping Australian fires? Yeah, me too.

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This woman on facebook is critiquing the way Tapirs have evolved?? Itβs like sheβs dissing their fashion choices and im laughing wtf
I donβt trust reddit because itβs the only social network whose users donβt hate the website theyβre using. twitter users hate twitter. snapchat users hate snapchat. but reddit users will get a neck tattoo of the goofy little alien friend and name their first born son r/gaming
OP has never used Reddit
my biology professor has such a chaotic energy about him, last week i went to his office hours and somehow we ended up on the topic of gay marriage:
he said that when he lived in texas they changed the law to define marriage as βbetween a man and a woman in a house of religious worship with the intention to have childrenβ so he filed his taxes as single and when they called him up like βyou filed married last yearβ he was like βyou changed the law, i was married by a judge in a courthouse and i have no intention of having kidsβ and they told him βyou know who that law was forβ and i guess he hung up on them and did not, in fact, pay taxes as a married man that year
Chaotic good
NO! This is Lawful Good! He is following the LAW! Chaotic doesn't just mean cheeky!
this is like how Sweden stopped classifying homosexuality as an illness because people started a campaign of calling in gay to work
malicious compliance is one of the best tools in the arsenal of civil rights activism
Always reblog for malicious compliance
Lucy Liu as David Bowie, Madonna, Prince, Boy George, Debbie Harry, Andy Warhol and herself for Marie Claire China, April 2020. Photographed by Victor Demarchelier.

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i donβt think everyone on the internet needs to know your mental illnesses but i do think they deserve to know whether youβre an ex theater kid
I recently started working in hospitality, and Iβll tell you guys right now, the trope of βthere was only one bedβ is not as rare as youβd think in real life. A few times a week, at least, I have guys come in who are working together on projects in town or passing through who have to literally book the last room I have available for the night and lo and behold β there is only one bed, and guess what, they give each other a side-eyed look and begrudgingly take it. So write it up, it happens all the time!!!
Never let your There Was Only One Bed dreams die. I was secretly in love with my best friend for over a year when she graduated and moved to Oklahoma (like 1000 miles away) for grad school. Between that travel restrictions, we were so scared weβd never see eachother again.
At the end of summer, when Covid numbers were at a lower point, I took the risk to visit her in her new apartment and I quickly realized that, unlike when Iβd spent the night at her house before, the couch wasnβt made up like a bed. She explained that since her new couch was so fancy and pink, I couldnβt possibly sleep on it, and so I needed to sleep in the bed with her. You know, out of necessity. I woke up with her snuggled around me in the middle of the night.
Weβre dating now, and I genuinely think Iβm going to marry her. Just the other day, though, I mentioned that if she hadnβt been weird about her fancy couch, I probably never would have like confessed my feelings. AND THEN she stood up, took the cushions off the fancy couch, UNFOLDED IT INTO A HIDE-A-BED, and said βI KNOW.β
THIS GIRL. ORCHESTRATED. BED SCARCITY. JUST SO SHE COULD MAKE THE βONLY ONE BEDβ EXCUSE. Yβall when I said I just about lost my goddamn mind, I just about lost my goddamn mind. I love this sneaky bitch so much and the moral of this story is BE THE ONE BED YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.
Fanfic imitates life, and life imitates fanfic. Itβs full circle really.
oh my godΒ
there was only one bed
but it was STAGED
why does cooking takes like six hours and eating like three seconds and washing dishes like seven days and seven nights
Michael B. Jordan as Erik Killmonger in BLACK PANTHER (2018) dir. Ryan Coogler

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before i had gotten close with ex-catholics i was under the assumption that "catholic guilt" was mostly about sex, or serious topics.
but i was naΓ―ve. it's apparently about every positive experience. enjoying a meal? you're so lucky, children are starving. spending your day off cosy in bed? wow, so selfish, homeless people are freezing to death.
every former or present catholic i've met has a very obvious anxiety disorder and it's so painfully not a coincidence.
HOT TIP!!!
You will drink more water if it tastes good. Iβm dead serious. Throw some mint in there, throw some lemon or strawberry or a little flavor packet. Your brain likes things that taste good.
You know why people like lemonade? Flavored water
You know why people like tea? Flavored water
You know why people like koolaid? Flavored water
People like flavored water. Brains like flavored water. Itβs like being forced to choose between a rock or a rock with glitter on it. You want the glitter rock
I am once again telling you to drink water
And to absolutely FUCK OFF if youβre going to be a dick on this post
21st Century Macgyver
W H A T
WATERMELON SUGAR
top 10 atla fight scenes (as voted by my followers) β³ #4: katara vs pakku

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Not quite, but good try. My website β My Instagram - My store
Sometimes you gotta make yourself drink water and sit in direct sunlight, like some kind of wilted houseplant